Do you think someone can lower your ego or self esteem unless you let them? Do you think you have the power to raise or lower it or do others have a hand in it too?

The power is yours, take responsibility.

I agree. I've heard a lot of people say (and I probably said it in my past) someone made me feel ________ or because this person said or treated me like this, _____________ happened.

I'm curious how much others affect someone's life or feelings

I always thought that no person can do that unless you allow them too. People may influence your opinion, but at the end of the day, you decide on what you want to believe.

I think it depends upon what stage of emotional maturity one is at and how close they are to the other person.


For instance, children at a very young age get their sense of self worth from how their caretakers treat them and what they are told about themself. If someone starts out as a child being molded to have a low self esteem,,, it will become very difficult for someone else to RAISE their opinion of themself. Likewise, if someone starts off their childhood being raised with self respect and self value,, it will be very difficult for someone once they are grown to lower their esteem.

I really think its all pretty much set from childhood, not in concrete, but it definitely becomse 'reality' for that person.

good point

I don't know. I honestly don't have much self esteem. I don't think anyone else can boost or lower ones self esteem.

For me, I just happen to be a huge perfectionist when it comes to myself (not everything or others, just myself), so it's diffucult to give myself credit for things, and to see when I've done a good job, etc. It's like I can never be good enough for myself. so, yeah... it's more of a personal issue with me.

Yes but its very short lived, I'll always go back to the same way I felt about myself before that person made me feel bad (or good) My life continues, never changing, never altered. I am who I am, certain highs and lows just are.

this is law

Hear, hear!!!!!!!!!

I'm awesome, deal with it.

Your computer will work well or lousy depending on the information put in to it, it is a collecting effect. But do you let just anyone put information in to it......of course not. You protect it from bad progams and add good ones to make it work better.

It is the same with your mind and ego. Protect it!....people are trying to put bad things in and viruses to corrupt the good programs within. Feed you mind and ego always or someone else will.

So very true.......We all have choices, self worth being one of them. Influances can creep in, but it is still your choice....

It depends. If ten people have to call you a taxi, you start to think you are a taxi.

I would say your self-esteem remains yours alone and people should always own their self-esteem, but when from a child you intake mental abuse, ownership of self-esteem stays misunderstood. Then, said person, enters into an abusive relationship due to lack of knowledge and self-esteem issues must learn to take ownership of their own mind through therpuetic methods and behavioral modifcations. Many of these people cannot recognize they need help because they have known nothing else. I know it took me several years through therapy to learn to take ownership through therapy. I lived the abused child syndrome physically and metally. Even people, with great self-esteem can lose it when told undermining statements in everday life and internalize them.

look thats not really fair on alot of people you try living your life and enjoying it when you have constant emotional torment from everyone around you mental abuse is just as bad as physical people go there whole lives never once thinking there good enough and its not something they control you say take responsability to them maybe you should tell that to the people who harrass these poor people to the point where they dont think they even have the right to live and people wonder why the suicide rate is so high and its for this exact reason everyone has this closed minded view that they can stop it if they want to would you say that to someone whose been constantly abused physically? no you wouldnt and the mind is a hell of a lot more fragile then the body is so maybe you should take another look and try to understand what some of these people go through before you pass your judgement on them

i keep a chastity belt on my my self esteem that way noone can screw it unless i let them
oh ....and and i feed it sunshine & chocolate,

No one can make you feel any particular way unless YOU give them permission to do it. It's all about willpower.

We all learn as we go and grow, but it is so easy to blame someone else for our own short comings.

Jeannie