"please don't ask the question unless you want the answer.. "


Ummmm... isn't that why people ask questions?

Come on, Peccy.

Have you never heard the question " Do these jeans make my azz look big?? " coming from a significant other??

Trust me....they do NOT want the answer.

Come on, man!!! Where's your sense of adventure??

At least she wouldn't be 847,000,000 miles away.

And even Outer Mongolia has GOT to be better than Indianastan.

Well, I do like those yurts....

"She's had her heart riped out . . . "


2 things. havin your heart ripened so much it rots out... must hurt. And this entire profile is written in 3rd person. Why?

"Hi, to anyone on the other side of the screen, speaking about yourself is terrible..."

Fine, I'll never do THAT again....

"I come to understand that I am a woman."

That's the sort of thing it's good to know.

"feel they have the right to associate themselves as being straight when in fact they took the gay 20's and 30's already...(leave the straight name alone)..it's all us normal people have left,to bind us together for the future,and are children. they don't want to be honest...then they are lying to us normal people!!....which makes us mad!"


Based on this... I'm voting for gay people to bind the future togeth... wait, what?

"I like to walk in the morning and enjoy going to bookstores last week."

Well, the prices were probably cheaper last week. That's the nice thing about time travel.

"I dream my small happy family, it also makes a successful basement for all things."

This is almost certainly the first time I've ever seen the term "successful basement" in a dating site profile. I'm assuming this is just a poorly-translated "foundation," but I could be wrong....

"color i like is blue.I will be an manager."

That pretty much covers it all. I feel like I've known you all my life.

"I should be a right stuff."

Shouldn't we all?

"try to tear me down, when i go to jeprorady."

Must be in the form of a question.

"i have kids at home hence losing my marbles."

Kids love marbles.

"Always better when someone else describe you."

OK, you're needlessly evasive.

"my hobbies are chiiling and having a good timewith a bottle of red wine in descent environvent."

Like an elevator going down....

Real story:

Profile of guy I spoke to on a dating site: To the left is what he stated on the profile, and to the right are what the facts were after speaking with him on the phone.


Good job="done got chitt canned from my last job"
Don't drink or go to bars="but works as a road manager for a band"
Lives on his own="lives in his parent's basement"
Has a car="Need to move some wires around because right now the tranny I put in it sounds like a freight train when I drive it".
First date would be dinner="don't have gas money to come meet you right now. When I do I may be able to buy you a cup of coffee."

Really happened to me. Two days ago.

"hi im looking for a boyfriend someone who is good looking between the ages of 33 and 41."

I guess he just falls apart once he hits 42.

"I am a divorced lady of 10 years."

How old were you when you got married, 6?

i love pop and i have big t**s and it is the best i am looking for some1 single and proud/ it is tthe best it was the best bcoz i want children alot but i hace had 7 children with different men."

People keep telling me they can't believe I'm still single....