if you wouldn't lower your standards when buying a car, or a house... why would you lower your standards with something so important... your relationships...

being relaistic is important, settling and lowering standards... someone simply get's hurt in the end...

been there, tried that -- realized it would never work.

Agree! Been there, done that. What happens in the end is someone getting hurt and it's usually the person you lowered your standards to.

I know I've said this one at least once to my friends who bring up "lowering my standards:"



"Why do I always have to be the one to lower my standards?"

i really wanted to buy a volvo but i couldn't afford it, so i chose a chevy.

i really wanted a home with acreage outside the city but i couldn't handle that sort of mortgage, so i chose a semi-attached near the city.

~~~~~~

i'm not saying that anyone SHOULD settle but sometimes it's best to enjoy and appreciate those things which are within our reach.

Picky, picky, picky. Geesh!

No. I'd rather be single for as long as it takes to find the right person than fool myself into thinking lowering my standards would make me happier.

don't sell yourself short relationships are one Area of your life where you can afford the best no matter who you are!!!

yes, but does the best necessarily mean a pre-defined criteria of the ideal person? or might the best be someone you'd never before considered?

that's a bad idea for EVERYONE concerned!

she settled for me

I think she did okay

haha are you ^^^ looking for a little sunshine?

i didn't settle at all. in fact, i overachieved.

"Standards" covers a lot of territory. Some of them will involve deal-breaker issues and should never be changed (for all practical purposes, those should be few). But most should always be up for analysis in the light of current wants, needs, and situations. The more unbreakable standards you have, the more difficult you make your own relationships. Keep the standards that work for you, jettison the others. “Work for you,” those are the key words. If you like someone who doesn’t meet a prior standard, maybe that standard isn’t working for you and should be reconsidered. Keep your “bottom line,” those absolute requirements, to a minimum so people can more easily live up to your standards, and so you can delight in more people. You will be happier: “Behind every upset is an unmet expectation.” Give up an expectation, and you lose the upsets associated with it. Therefore, you should always evaluate, modify, and possibly cast off some of your standards.

not for me...

it wouldn't work, so why bother...

Yes, it's okay to lower your standards if the person you're falling for doesn't meet them, but you would want to be careful of how low you lower them to.

Here is a good general rule that might answer the question: "If something happens over and over again, there is a reason." Rest assured that the reason won't be random chance or bad luck.

I totally agree with this comment because some people's standards are WAY out of line with reality and they don't even know it.

it all depends, see if you have lets say "lower standards", as you put it" you may be suprised at how may people, you can get on with and find something may come of it, where as if you have these "high" standards, you aint gunna get the chance to find out

Well I don't want to go to low!

Took me a long time to get where I am

I do expect

A job so he can't take care of his own
A car. He can't have mine
Place to live