Topic: How soon is too soon to meet someone?
John1932's photo
Mon 08/03/09 09:26 PM

So few nights ago, I looked at a profile and then found that the person who I looked at decided to add me as a friend. Figuring why not, I decided to accept, and we talked briefly. Next night, we ended up on the phone and online chatting basically all night and into the morning, and talked some yesterday too.

Now at this point we're more or less just friends, but I had found out she was traveling into the Cleveland, Ohio area today to visit family, and Cleveland is just a couple hours away from me being just outside of Detroit in the suburbs. So I had come up with the idea that maybe we meet for a day or two while she's home. She didn't mind the idea (although my family has), and we've been trying to work out me getting there and all by bus since.

Today though I've been having some second thoughts, I mean I do want to see her and I know she wants to see me, to see just how things transfer from over the phone/online chat to real life meeting, especially considering she won't be in the area again for a while considering the costs to travel from where she lives, and not having a whole lot in the way of funds. The same could be said for me traveling to where she is.

But at the same time, I wonder if this is too soon, if the timing isn't right and by meeting we're sort of rushing this, or is it possible to rush a real life meeting in the first place?

Thoughts?


UHHHH!!!!,
I know its none of my business, but I was curious...
What happened to the 16 year old girl you were in love with last week on the other thread you made about if age mattered, is this the same or different.

I was just curious cause you said her parents was letting you stay the night with them and your parents are saying heck no!!!

Kleisto's photo
Mon 08/03/09 09:31 PM


So few nights ago, I looked at a profile and then found that the person who I looked at decided to add me as a friend. Figuring why not, I decided to accept, and we talked briefly. Next night, we ended up on the phone and online chatting basically all night and into the morning, and talked some yesterday too.

Now at this point we're more or less just friends, but I had found out she was traveling into the Cleveland, Ohio area today to visit family, and Cleveland is just a couple hours away from me being just outside of Detroit in the suburbs. So I had come up with the idea that maybe we meet for a day or two while she's home. She didn't mind the idea (although my family has), and we've been trying to work out me getting there and all by bus since.

Today though I've been having some second thoughts, I mean I do want to see her and I know she wants to see me, to see just how things transfer from over the phone/online chat to real life meeting, especially considering she won't be in the area again for a while considering the costs to travel from where she lives, and not having a whole lot in the way of funds. The same could be said for me traveling to where she is.

But at the same time, I wonder if this is too soon, if the timing isn't right and by meeting we're sort of rushing this, or is it possible to rush a real life meeting in the first place?

Thoughts?


UHHHH!!!!,
I know its none of my business, but I was curious...
What happened to the 16 year old girl you were in love with last week on the other thread you made about if age mattered, is this the same or different.

I was just curious cause you said her parents was letting you stay the night with them and your parents are saying heck no!!!



This is someone different, not to say I've forgotten about the 16 year old mind you, just trying to keep my mind open at the same time, though perhaps that's a recipe for trouble too.

Baabs's photo
Mon 08/03/09 09:50 PM


So few nights ago, I looked at a profile and then found that the person who I looked at decided to add me as a friend. Figuring why not, I decided to accept, and we talked briefly. Next night, we ended up on the phone and online chatting basically all night and into the morning, and talked some yesterday too.

Now at this point we're more or less just friends, but I had found out she was traveling into the Cleveland, Ohio area today to visit family, and Cleveland is just a couple hours away from me being just outside of Detroit in the suburbs. So I had come up with the idea that maybe we meet for a day or two while she's home. She didn't mind the idea (although my family has), and we've been trying to work out me getting there and all by bus since.

Today though I've been having some second thoughts, I mean I do want to see her and I know she wants to see me, to see just how things transfer from over the phone/online chat to real life meeting, especially considering she won't be in the area again for a while considering the costs to travel from where she lives, and not having a whole lot in the way of funds. The same could be said for me traveling to where she is.

But at the same time, I wonder if this is too soon, if the timing isn't right and by meeting we're sort of rushing this, or is it possible to rush a real life meeting in the first place?

Thoughts?


UHHHH!!!!,
I know its none of my business, but I was curious...
What happened to the 16 year old girl you were in love with last week on the other thread you made about if age mattered, is this the same or different.

I was just curious cause you said her parents was letting you stay the night with them and your parents are saying heck no!!!


Winx's photo
Mon 08/03/09 10:19 PM

Yeap, I think my mother would freak out and say NO WAY.


This mom wouldn't do it.

Winx's photo
Mon 08/03/09 10:20 PM


So few nights ago, I looked at a profile and then found that the person who I looked at decided to add me as a friend. Figuring why not, I decided to accept, and we talked briefly. Next night, we ended up on the phone and online chatting basically all night and into the morning, and talked some yesterday too.

Now at this point we're more or less just friends, but I had found out she was traveling into the Cleveland, Ohio area today to visit family, and Cleveland is just a couple hours away from me being just outside of Detroit in the suburbs. So I had come up with the idea that maybe we meet for a day or two while she's home. She didn't mind the idea (although my family has), and we've been trying to work out me getting there and all by bus since.

Today though I've been having some second thoughts, I mean I do want to see her and I know she wants to see me, to see just how things transfer from over the phone/online chat to real life meeting, especially considering she won't be in the area again for a while considering the costs to travel from where she lives, and not having a whole lot in the way of funds. The same could be said for me traveling to where she is.

But at the same time, I wonder if this is too soon, if the timing isn't right and by meeting we're sort of rushing this, or is it possible to rush a real life meeting in the first place?

Thoughts?


UHHHH!!!!,
I know its none of my business, but I was curious...
What happened to the 16 year old girl you were in love with last week on the other thread you made about if age mattered, is this the same or different.

I was just curious cause you said her parents was letting you stay the night with them and your parents are saying heck no!!!



Ironic, isn't it? lol

no photo
Mon 08/03/09 11:35 PM
Just out of curiosity, where does she live? I know she's visiting family in Ohio, but where does she live the rest of the time?

John1932's photo
Mon 08/03/09 11:59 PM



So few nights ago, I looked at a profile and then found that the person who I looked at decided to add me as a friend. Figuring why not, I decided to accept, and we talked briefly. Next night, we ended up on the phone and online chatting basically all night and into the morning, and talked some yesterday too.

Now at this point we're more or less just friends, but I had found out she was traveling into the Cleveland, Ohio area today to visit family, and Cleveland is just a couple hours away from me being just outside of Detroit in the suburbs. So I had come up with the idea that maybe we meet for a day or two while she's home. She didn't mind the idea (although my family has), and we've been trying to work out me getting there and all by bus since.

Today though I've been having some second thoughts, I mean I do want to see her and I know she wants to see me, to see just how things transfer from over the phone/online chat to real life meeting, especially considering she won't be in the area again for a while considering the costs to travel from where she lives, and not having a whole lot in the way of funds. The same could be said for me traveling to where she is.

But at the same time, I wonder if this is too soon, if the timing isn't right and by meeting we're sort of rushing this, or is it possible to rush a real life meeting in the first place?

Thoughts?


UHHHH!!!!,
I know its none of my business, but I was curious...
What happened to the 16 year old girl you were in love with last week on the other thread you made about if age mattered, is this the same or different.

I was just curious cause you said her parents was letting you stay the night with them and your parents are saying heck no!!!



This is someone different, not to say I've forgotten about the 16 year old mind you, just trying to keep my mind open at the same time, though perhaps that's a recipe for trouble too.

You should open your mind further and push the 16 year out of it..
just my opinion.. but thats offtopic

Ok, well you know I have to ask, and you knew it had to be coming, so here it is...

How old is the new girl visiting Ohio?

you don't have to answer, but I'm sure inquiring minds what to know.

Kleisto's photo
Tue 08/04/09 12:07 AM

Just out of curiosity, where does she live? I know she's visiting family in Ohio, but where does she live the rest of the time?


Minnesota.

Kleisto's photo
Tue 08/04/09 12:07 AM
Edited by Kleisto on Tue 08/04/09 12:12 AM




So few nights ago, I looked at a profile and then found that the person who I looked at decided to add me as a friend. Figuring why not, I decided to accept, and we talked briefly. Next night, we ended up on the phone and online chatting basically all night and into the morning, and talked some yesterday too.

Now at this point we're more or less just friends, but I had found out she was traveling into the Cleveland, Ohio area today to visit family, and Cleveland is just a couple hours away from me being just outside of Detroit in the suburbs. So I had come up with the idea that maybe we meet for a day or two while she's home. She didn't mind the idea (although my family has), and we've been trying to work out me getting there and all by bus since.

Today though I've been having some second thoughts, I mean I do want to see her and I know she wants to see me, to see just how things transfer from over the phone/online chat to real life meeting, especially considering she won't be in the area again for a while considering the costs to travel from where she lives, and not having a whole lot in the way of funds. The same could be said for me traveling to where she is.

But at the same time, I wonder if this is too soon, if the timing isn't right and by meeting we're sort of rushing this, or is it possible to rush a real life meeting in the first place?

Thoughts?


UHHHH!!!!,
I know its none of my business, but I was curious...
What happened to the 16 year old girl you were in love with last week on the other thread you made about if age mattered, is this the same or different.

I was just curious cause you said her parents was letting you stay the night with them and your parents are saying heck no!!!



This is someone different, not to say I've forgotten about the 16 year old mind you, just trying to keep my mind open at the same time, though perhaps that's a recipe for trouble too.

You should open your mind further and push the 16 year out of it..
just my opinion.. but thats offtopic

Ok, well you know I have to ask, and you knew it had to be coming, so here it is...

How old is the new girl visiting Ohio?

you don't have to answer, but I'm sure inquiring minds what to know.



She's 26, so a little older then me.

I'm not totally sure if this will work though, the bus routes and all just to get to the station are more confusing then I first thought, and not exactly familiar with some of them not having used them.

I had figured I could take the one bus near me straight downtown to the station, like I had done with going to see the Tigers play last summer, but from google maps at least, it's a little more complicated apparently. Don't have a printer to print out info from either.

I wish I had more time to get this sorted out, so soon and all it makes it hard to pull this off, and I probably will wonder what would have happened if I don't go, though then again there may be a reason I don't too I don't know.




earthytaurus76's photo
Tue 08/04/09 12:12 AM
Go and meet her and have lots of lots of sex with her... just bring the condoms.


Ya never know. AND if she lived down the street it would be rediculous to hesitate, so why do it now?


You only live once, go have some excitement.


(you dont really have to sleep with her)

yes you do.

Kleisto's photo
Tue 08/04/09 12:15 AM
Edited by Kleisto on Tue 08/04/09 12:15 AM

Go and meet her and have lots of lots of sex with her... just bring the condoms.


Ya never know. AND if she lived down the street it would be rediculous to hesitate, so why do it now?


You only live once, go have some excitement.


(you dont really have to sleep with her)

yes you do.


No sex lol, we've talked a little bit about that issue casually (meaning not her and I in that light), and she wouldn't be comfortable with it I wouldn't think nor would I. Besides her parents would probably go crazy if we did. Either way it's not gonna happen like that if I do go.

John1932's photo
Tue 08/04/09 12:21 AM





So few nights ago, I looked at a profile and then found that the person who I looked at decided to add me as a friend. Figuring why not, I decided to accept, and we talked briefly. Next night, we ended up on the phone and online chatting basically all night and into the morning, and talked some yesterday too.

Now at this point we're more or less just friends, but I had found out she was traveling into the Cleveland, Ohio area today to visit family, and Cleveland is just a couple hours away from me being just outside of Detroit in the suburbs. So I had come up with the idea that maybe we meet for a day or two while she's home. She didn't mind the idea (although my family has), and we've been trying to work out me getting there and all by bus since.

Today though I've been having some second thoughts, I mean I do want to see her and I know she wants to see me, to see just how things transfer from over the phone/online chat to real life meeting, especially considering she won't be in the area again for a while considering the costs to travel from where she lives, and not having a whole lot in the way of funds. The same could be said for me traveling to where she is.

But at the same time, I wonder if this is too soon, if the timing isn't right and by meeting we're sort of rushing this, or is it possible to rush a real life meeting in the first place?

Thoughts?


UHHHH!!!!,
I know its none of my business, but I was curious...
What happened to the 16 year old girl you were in love with last week on the other thread you made about if age mattered, is this the same or different.

I was just curious cause you said her parents was letting you stay the night with them and your parents are saying heck no!!!



This is someone different, not to say I've forgotten about the 16 year old mind you, just trying to keep my mind open at the same time, though perhaps that's a recipe for trouble too.

You should open your mind further and push the 16 year out of it..
just my opinion.. but thats offtopic

Ok, well you know I have to ask, and you knew it had to be coming, so here it is...

How old is the new girl visiting Ohio?

you don't have to answer, but I'm sure inquiring minds what to know.



She's 26, so a little older then me.

I'm not totally sure if this will work though, the bus routes and all just to get to the station are more confusing then I first thought, and not exactly familiar with some of them not having used them.

I had figured I could take the one bus near me straight downtown to the station, like I had done with going to see the Tigers play last summer, but from google maps at least, it's a little more complicated apparently. Don't have a printer to print out info from either.

I wish I had more time to get this sorted out, so soon and all it makes it hard to pull this off, and I probably will wonder what would have happened if I don't go, though then again there may be a reason I don't too I don't know.






YESSSSSS!!!!, our young man has grown up.
GO SEE HER,
do you not have car so you can drive yourself?

Ahhh it don't matter, go see the girl. If it was me, and i was off work, I would be gone with the wind brother. Of course I would get me a hotel, don't think I would be staying with her parents lol.

NOOOO SEX MAN, NOT WITH HER PARENTS THERE...
Get to know her, talk to her, don't just hide the salami and run, that's no way to treat a lady. You want respect, give her respect.

Good Luck.

Kleisto's photo
Tue 08/04/09 12:26 AM






So few nights ago, I looked at a profile and then found that the person who I looked at decided to add me as a friend. Figuring why not, I decided to accept, and we talked briefly. Next night, we ended up on the phone and online chatting basically all night and into the morning, and talked some yesterday too.

Now at this point we're more or less just friends, but I had found out she was traveling into the Cleveland, Ohio area today to visit family, and Cleveland is just a couple hours away from me being just outside of Detroit in the suburbs. So I had come up with the idea that maybe we meet for a day or two while she's home. She didn't mind the idea (although my family has), and we've been trying to work out me getting there and all by bus since.

Today though I've been having some second thoughts, I mean I do want to see her and I know she wants to see me, to see just how things transfer from over the phone/online chat to real life meeting, especially considering she won't be in the area again for a while considering the costs to travel from where she lives, and not having a whole lot in the way of funds. The same could be said for me traveling to where she is.

But at the same time, I wonder if this is too soon, if the timing isn't right and by meeting we're sort of rushing this, or is it possible to rush a real life meeting in the first place?

Thoughts?


UHHHH!!!!,
I know its none of my business, but I was curious...
What happened to the 16 year old girl you were in love with last week on the other thread you made about if age mattered, is this the same or different.

I was just curious cause you said her parents was letting you stay the night with them and your parents are saying heck no!!!



This is someone different, not to say I've forgotten about the 16 year old mind you, just trying to keep my mind open at the same time, though perhaps that's a recipe for trouble too.

You should open your mind further and push the 16 year out of it..
just my opinion.. but thats offtopic

Ok, well you know I have to ask, and you knew it had to be coming, so here it is...

How old is the new girl visiting Ohio?

you don't have to answer, but I'm sure inquiring minds what to know.



She's 26, so a little older then me.

I'm not totally sure if this will work though, the bus routes and all just to get to the station are more confusing then I first thought, and not exactly familiar with some of them not having used them.

I had figured I could take the one bus near me straight downtown to the station, like I had done with going to see the Tigers play last summer, but from google maps at least, it's a little more complicated apparently. Don't have a printer to print out info from either.

I wish I had more time to get this sorted out, so soon and all it makes it hard to pull this off, and I probably will wonder what would have happened if I don't go, though then again there may be a reason I don't too I don't know.






YESSSSSS!!!!, our young man has grown up.
GO SEE HER,
do you not have car so you can drive yourself?

Ahhh it don't matter, go see the girl. If it was me, and i was off work, I would be gone with the wind brother. Of course I would get me a hotel, don't think I would be staying with her parents lol.

NOOOO SEX MAN, NOT WITH HER PARENTS THERE...
Get to know her, talk to her, don't just hide the salami and run, that's no way to treat a lady. You want respect, give her respect.

Good Luck.


I have no car, no license, and kinda stuck at the wishes of my family as far as getting to the bus station, as well as some of the funds for this trip (which I'd pay back).

And agreed on respect, wouldn't do it any other way. Just unsure if this will all work out now......ohwell

John1932's photo
Tue 08/04/09 12:26 AM


Go and meet her and have lots of lots of sex with her... just bring the condoms.


Ya never know. AND if she lived down the street it would be rediculous to hesitate, so why do it now?


You only live once, go have some excitement.


(you dont really have to sleep with her)

yes you do.


No sex lol, we've talked a little bit about that issue casually (meaning not her and I in that light), and she wouldn't be comfortable with it I wouldn't think nor would I. Besides her parents would probably go crazy if we did. Either way it's not gonna happen like that if I do go.

There is no if's. YOUR GONNA GET ON THAT BUS AND YOUR GONNA GO SEE THAT GIRL. no back talking... lol

Do wants in your heart, don't let fear of he trip freak you out, now if it s a fear of the situation, then you better be minding your gut, but if it is fear of the trip, swallow it and get moving.

John1932's photo
Tue 08/04/09 12:35 AM

I have no car, no license, and kinda stuck at the wishes of my family as far as getting to the bus station, as well as some of the funds for this trip (which I'd pay back).

And agreed on respect, wouldn't do it any other way. Just unsure if this will all work out now......ohwell



WHOA WHOA, WHOA your horsey there a minute.
you have no license, no car, no funds for a trip?
no wonder your freaking out..

Man you gotta work on you before you can work on someone else.
How are you going to work on a relationship if you have to ride a bus and borrow the money every time you want to go see her, you cant even get a ride to the station. Love is a powerful thing that will ruin you, if your not stable enough to have it.
Maybe you should wait this one out.
If your family helps you, that is good and all, heck if I was close enough I would give ya a ride to the station and give you funds, just cause I don't like to see good love go to waste, but you need to think long and hard about how you intend to maintain a relationship if you don't have the means to even get to the relationship.




Kleisto's photo
Tue 08/04/09 12:38 AM
Edited by Kleisto on Tue 08/04/09 12:38 AM


I have no car, no license, and kinda stuck at the wishes of my family as far as getting to the bus station, as well as some of the funds for this trip (which I'd pay back).

And agreed on respect, wouldn't do it any other way. Just unsure if this will all work out now......ohwell



WHOA WHOA, WHOA your horsey there a minute.
you have no license, no car, no funds for a trip?
no wonder your freaking out..

Man you gotta work on you before you can work on someone else.
How are you going to work on a relationship if you have to ride a bus and borrow the money every time you want to go see her, you cant even get a ride to the station. Love is a powerful thing that will ruin you, if your not stable enough to have it.
Maybe you should wait this one out.
If your family helps you, that is good and all, heck if I was close enough I would give ya a ride to the station and give you funds, just cause I don't like to see good love go to waste, but you need to think long and hard about how you intend to maintain a relationship if you don't have the means to even get to the relationship.






I understand all that, and I do have some of the funds for this bus trip, just not all of it. The bus is cheaper then flying to Minnesota to be sure, so if I didn't go now wouldn't be able to see her for a while to say the least.

I do admit I got things to work on too with a license and all.

JustAGuy2112's photo
Tue 08/04/09 12:46 AM
I do admit I got things to work on too with a license and all.


Ya think???

License,job, car, then drive to see her...in that order.

You live near Detroit. That makes seeing someone that lives in Ohio, Illinois, Minnesota or Wisconsin ( depending on how far North they are in the last two states ) a whole lot easier.

John1932's photo
Tue 08/04/09 12:50 AM
Edited by John1932 on Tue 08/04/09 12:53 AM



I have no car, no license, and kinda stuck at the wishes of my family as far as getting to the bus station, as well as some of the funds for this trip (which I'd pay back).

And agreed on respect, wouldn't do it any other way. Just unsure if this will all work out now......ohwell



WHOA WHOA, WHOA your horsey there a minute.
you have no license, no car, no funds for a trip?
no wonder your freaking out..

Man you gotta work on you before you can work on someone else.
How are you going to work on a relationship if you have to ride a bus and borrow the money every time you want to go see her, you cant even get a ride to the station. Love is a powerful thing that will ruin you, if your not stable enough to have it.
Maybe you should wait this one out.
If your family helps you, that is good and all, heck if I was close enough I would give ya a ride to the station and give you funds, just cause I don't like to see good love go to waste, but you need to think long and hard about how you intend to maintain a relationship if you don't have the means to even get to the relationship.






I understand all that, and I do have some of the funds for this bus trip, just not all of it. The bus is cheaper then flying to Minnesota to be sure, so if I didn't go now wouldn't be able to see her for a while to say the least.

I do admit I got things to work on too with a license and all.

Ok, that's enough, Im beginning to understand a little more.
Adam, your family is trying to look out for you just like Calleigh was trying to tell you earlier. They worry for your safety and well being, you may be 21, but they feel you still need their protection.
I know you really want to see this girl and I know you want to be a man and you want to do it alone, but they feel like you aren't ready.
listen to your family. I didn't see the entire picture until just now and I understand. If something happened to you, we would feel horrible for encouraging you. I know it is sad and depressing and hurtful, but your family knows best. Its not time yet.

There will be more times, keep talking and make some money and things will grow between you two.
Be smart, be safe...

Good Luck

PacificStar48's photo
Tue 08/04/09 01:00 AM
I think this plan is seriously flawed.

Your instincts that this is too much to fast are right.

At 21 I can not understanding a parent/grandparent saying you can not do something you want to do. If you live with them and they are supporting you it would not be wise to openly defy their wishes.

What I understand even less is the parents of a 26 year old woman hosting a 21 year old stranger in their home. It sounds like either they see you as a meal ticket or they are trying to get their daughter to come back home from where ever she has been. Maybe living with and abusive boyfriend or husband.

Way too many red flags on this play.


Kleisto's photo
Tue 08/04/09 01:04 AM

I think this plan is seriously flawed.

Your instincts that this is too much to fast are right.

At 21 I can not understanding a parent/grandparent saying you can not do something you want to do. If you live with them and they are supporting you it would not be wise to openly defy their wishes.

What I understand even less is the parents of a 26 year old woman hosting a 21 year old stranger in their home. It sounds like either they see you as a meal ticket or they are trying to get their daughter to come back home from where ever she has been. Maybe living with and abusive boyfriend or husband.

Way too many red flags on this play.




I'm not a kid though, and I resent being treated like I can't do a freakin thing for myself, or put down that I'm not good enough to do this or do that, why the hell not?

As for the rest, the girl has lived alone in an apartment for a bit now, no real issue there, and the meal ticket thing I would think is unfounded to say the very least.