Somebody in their paranoid rantings forgot to mention he might be abducted by aliens, anally probed and micro chipped so they could track him for years to come.

There is an old saying.
"The Golden Rule;
He who has the Gold,
Makes the rules."

If you are dependent on your family, no job, no cash, no car, then they make the rules. Whether you like it or not.
Once you are more independent, then you can make the rules and conduct your life as you see fit.
Not fair, not right, doesn't take your perspective in to consideration, or your feelings, but it is the reality that you live in right now.


Good Luck

I don't know your situation is ideal if at times your family gets on your case and says ugly things to you but I can understand the frustration they may feel to get through to you.

It appears you do not have an age approriate skill set.

I would expect a 21 year old to have basic housekeeping and yard care skills. Even by watching you should have enough ability to wash dishes and cook or several of the things you say you are not allowed to do. Is it because you refuse to take direction and do a substandard job? Why would your parents to have faith in you to handle something as serious as out of state travel and judgeing the safety of a situation if you can not master the responsibility of what are tasks that a young teen could do?

I would expect a 21 year old to have a full time job even if it were a low skill level or rather low paying. The realization that this society expects people to work should have set in somewhere around 16. You can make minimum wage sweeping up trash at the mall if nothing else. Is that a great job? No but it is certainly a better use of your time than setting on line surfing for a girlfriend you can not even afford to take out on a date of your own.

I would expect a 21 year old to have saved enough of his own income if he were living at home to have a license, purchased a good used car or at least a motor cycle, and paying for his own gas and insurance. This would be possible if you were giving your parents even half of your income (as they are IMHO entitled to if you are still living at home after 18 on their nickle). If nothing else to have a license and enough saved to buy your own bus pass or pay a cab. That you can not afford to do something should tell you something about wheather you should do it or not.

I would expect a 21 year old to have come to the conclusion if he were feeling oppressed at home to have sought out a school counselor, clergy, mental health counselor, or even your family to help you find a school, job training program, or even public service somewhere you could spend time away from home at least for the summer. I can clearly say you do not have the attitude or maturity to make it in the military at this time if ever. My suggestion would be to check into Job Corp or some similiar program. This would be a safe way to get out on your own with out jumping out of the skillet into the fire.

I would hope that you would take away from this experience that you have been most fortuneate to dodge a bullet not being able to make the trip you were considering. Not because this person you have met is neccessairly an axe murder but simply because she is not ready for a relationship if she is seeking someone so much younger with so little going for him at the moment. That she has to depend not only on your family but hers also to make the visit happen tells me she is as immature and selfish as you are. The likely hood that you would have ended up argueing and having a miserable experience was very high.

I would also hope that you see that there are some people who care a great deal about you and rather than fighting and being belligerent with them, picking and international stage to dog them when they are keeping a roof over your head, food in your belly, and evidently a rather comfortable life if you can park on the computer and telephone that you would apoligize equally as publiclly and honor what you have been blessed with. That would show real maturity and character.

I would like to ask this thread be locked, as I don't feel the need nor the desire to have to defend myself and my feelings to anyone at this point, nor do I care to read what anyone else thinks either. I've heard about enough and I'd rather the matter be dropped.

I feel the way I do, and agree with it or not, that isn't going to change. Am I perfect, am I without sin? No I'm not, there are things I can do better, but nevertheless I stand on my thoughts and that's the last I will say on this matter. I'd like to just move on.

so just quit posting on it, it will disappear eventually..

Good luck to you.. I want to be your friend, and a good friend is not gonna lie to you and tell you what you want to hear.
If you want to talk, I am all ears. If I wanted to argue, I would have stayed married to my ex wife.

There is no hard feelings here, its all good my friend.