Topic: would someone having a mental illness put you off dating the
no photo
Mon 11/02/09 03:53 PM
Ok, not to be critical but if we are going to talk about (mental illness), lets get them right. Manic Depressive is " Bi Polar". What it means and implies is that the person can experience high high's and low low's. Now, the only way it is hard for a family member or any loved one for that matter to deal with this is because they are prejudiced and have issues of their own.
Living with or knowing someone who is Bi Polar is not the worst experience you will have in your life. Also, before making blanket statments please do your research. Bi Polar is a disease; not one the individual asked for by the way. A drug addict sought out drugs and injected or injested them. No one forced them and no one made them and they certainly were not born with it nor was it hereditary.
Yes some mental illnesses can be passed on to your children and it is something to think seriously about before you make that decision. There are many medications they have found that work quite well for Bi Polar and Schizophrenia.
Someday when you are on the computer.... google people with Bi Polar or Manic Depressive Illness; you will be surprised at the list of most geniuse and brightest minds in the world have or had the disease.
But, to the individual who did the actual post; there is nothing wrong with you, you have an illness and if you take care of yourself and the illness there should be few issues. I would wait until you have been seriously dating someone for a few months; at this point they know how they feel about you and will not be looking at your illness instead.

Good Luck

no photo
Mon 11/02/09 05:34 PM
:heart: We're all mental to someone else's thoughts.
To what degree, depends on THEIR minds.
And many a good mind, has been lead by one who is wrong.
So what we think and what we do, is'nt even a clue,, as to who's right, just who see's you so wrong,,,,,wink.
Life can be done with greatness with proper meds and out-looks as to who you want to become.
Love your self and the world will still **** on ya,,,but at least
YOU will know to wipe......:wink:

I hope you find you, and another to share this journey with,,,,
And if your down and need an ear,,,I am always around...Good luck..

CYNSATIONAL's photo
Tue 11/03/09 03:48 AM

wow...a great topic,I myself was diagnosed with PTSD as well as mood swings a few years ago and have struggled with depression my entire life and then ended being married to someone with bipolar and other complex mental disorders so I don't think it would be a deal breaker for me.With that said there are so many misconceptions out there about PTSD and mental illness that alot of "normal" people dont understand and tend to be put off.but yes with the right medication these conditions can be managed quite well.


Normal....it's a dryer setting.
I have a number, a large number of physical issues. They can cause some emotional issues as a side effect. We all have issues, and "mental" issues are just as much physical as my diabetes, heart issues etc. So I think being upfront (I can't hide my issues), is important and taking the time to learn about another person includes the good with the bad.
In my own longwinded way...I don't think it would be a deal breaker.

Ricky64's photo
Mon 11/09/09 11:02 AM
i see he sees well hell they all see if your honest it doesnt matter what people do they could turn tale and run or be accepting about the whole thing so do u have delusions real bad and some people have halutionations they are boyh realy scary oh yeah how do you know for shure u have it what are the symtoms?

sinbadd's photo
Mon 11/09/09 11:51 AM
I work with the mentaly ill they are human,they bleed,they have needs,wants,desires,like all of us. That said if they took there meds,and delt with it as an adult why not date them if a connection has been made? We all have something wrong with us some hide it better from other & some hide it so well they forget who they are even to themself!!

2tall5665's photo
Fri 11/20/09 07:52 AM
I grew up with a bi polar mother and know the day to day life with mental dissorder. I would have to say no, I would not date someone with it.

TBRich's photo
Fri 11/20/09 12:30 PM
I think this question is moot, I have not yet met a woman who did not have some sort of serious mental problem or other! LOL!

Catman6's photo
Wed 12/02/09 12:14 AM

I grew up with a bi polar mother and know the day to day life with mental dissorder...



I did as well. I've dated 2 women who had mental disorders. The biggest problem is they wouldn't stay on their meds. Personally, I don't want to deal with it again, but if the right person came along, and she STAYED on her meds, I might consider it.


The best advise I can give you though, is to keep on your meds, and don't drop it on the person right away. Ket them get to know YOU first. Let them leave you for YOU, and not the disease.


My $.02

4everw8n's photo
Wed 12/02/09 04:50 AM
I know a bit about this topic, (I work with people who are diagnosed with schizophrenia and I also was in a 7 year relationship with one.)I think as long as that stigma is not in someone's mind and they have an understanding of the illness, the possibilities for romance are very, very good. Don't let this illness define you. Best of luck to you and the lucky girl you find.

msharmony's photo
Wed 12/02/09 06:20 AM
Like anything else, noone deals with illness the same, whether they are the ill or the loved one. Although these 'mental disorders' are assigned names, they dont have some blanket way of manifesting. Not all people with bi polar exhibit the same behavior. Whether it is their 'fault' or not doesnt really change the outcome and its effect on their partner. My experience was very poor, nearly abusive, because of my partners 'mental disorder' and it really mattered not whether it was his fault he harmed me, just that I chose not to be harmed anymore. It wasnt close mindedness about his 'illness' it was the desire to have a healthy life for myself and my kids.

This experience would probably cause me not to pursue another relationship with someone suffering a diagnosed disorder, but I think in general people should be given a chance until they show some sign that they are harmful to themselves or others.

HuckleberryFinn's photo
Wed 12/02/09 07:12 AM
you mean there are people on this site without mental problems, wow, talk about the minority, we are all screwed up somewhere, some more than others and one sin is not less or worse then the next....personally I have what is called an above board policy, no topic should be off limits, a person can't love you for who you are if they don't know who you are....and that entails everything, then it's up to them, to know me it to love me, to reject me is a great loss on their part, that's how you must look at it, but in the end be honest, if not it will come back to haunt you

mbcasey's photo
Wed 12/02/09 08:06 AM
I have bipolar disorder and dated someone with bipolar. In the future I would date someone who had any mental or physical disorder. The stigmas attached to any disability is a travesty. My best friend is paraplegic and he is also having dificulty in finding someone.

It's the person, not the disability you date. Yes, attraction, compatibility, etc are important but don't automatically discount someone because of their disability.

And if you had a bad experience with someone before, please do not automatically dismiss all others who have the same diagnosis. People are different and no person with bipolar is the same as another.

I don't think many here would date a murderer or rapist. They are automatically dismissed from people's dating pool. Myself and others here feel like we are also people of low character or decency, that we are lumped into the same catagory with prejudgements that are wrong. You may be surprised to find out that someone like me has strong character and values, and treat others with respect, kindness and dignity.

So next time you come accross another who has a mental or physical disorder, please do not dismiss them. You may find the love of your life. Thanks for reading.

Ken

no photo
Wed 12/02/09 08:16 AM

..you ask a million people ..you will get a million answers..when the only answer you need will come from the lips of the one that is right for you...smokin

sweetsimplesassy's photo
Wed 12/02/09 09:32 AM

Ok, not to be critical but if we are going to talk about (mental illness), lets get them right. Manic Depressive is " Bi Polar". What it means and implies is that the person can experience high high's and low low's. Now, the only way it is hard for a family member or any loved one for that matter to deal with this is because they are prejudiced and have issues of their own.
Living with or knowing someone who is Bi Polar is not the worst experience you will have in your life. Also, before making blanket statments please do your research. Bi Polar is a disease; not one the individual asked for by the way. A drug addict sought out drugs and injected or injested them. No one forced them and no one made them and they certainly were not born with it nor was it hereditary.
Yes some mental illnesses can be passed on to your children and it is something to think seriously about before you make that decision. There are many medications they have found that work quite well for Bi Polar and Schizophrenia.
Someday when you are on the computer.... google people with Bi Polar or Manic Depressive Illness; you will be surprised at the list of most geniuse and brightest minds in the world have or had the disease.
But, to the individual who did the actual post; there is nothing wrong with you, you have an illness and if you take care of yourself and the illness there should be few issues. I would wait until you have been seriously dating someone for a few months; at this point they know how they feel about you and will not be looking at your illness instead.

Good Luck


Thank you for posting this....I previosly posted something simular, but not quit in depth....I was diagnosed yrs ago with manic depression and was just put on a basic antidepressant and untill just a few weeks ago didnt realize i was, so called "bi polar" and I am still just on a antidepressant....my so called "bi-polar" doesnt control my life and who I am...if you met me and spent time with me, bet you wouldnt even know...I live fine and function fine...maybe there are different degrees to it, but...now that I may have scared some of you away with me spilling my cootos....it didnt change who I was when you talked to me yesterday ect...so , people, please dont judge ohers...I'm as "normal" as they come,,,actually ..not...lol normal is boring hehehe....depends on each persons veiw of what is "normal" ....

sweetsimplesassy's photo
Wed 12/02/09 09:33 AM

I work with the mentaly ill they are human,they bleed,they have needs,wants,desires,like all of us. That said if they took there meds,and delt with it as an adult why not date them if a connection has been made? We all have something wrong with us some hide it better from other & some hide it so well they forget who they are even to themself!!



thats cool!:thumbsup:

HuckleberryFinn's photo
Wed 12/02/09 09:52 AM
damn and all this time I was scared you might actually be normal, welcome to the nuthouse...lmao

sweetsimplesassy's photo
Wed 12/02/09 09:55 AM

damn and all this time I was scared you might actually be normal, welcome to the nuthouse...lmao



I know...R_U_N Swiftly from the normals....lol

angelo54915's photo
Wed 12/02/09 09:57 PM
I dated a girl who is Bi polar, I have to say it was extremely tough to enjoy being with her when she wasnt on meds. I know I shouldnt complain because I have a luandry list of mental illnesses too. Im Bi polar/ acute schizo affective disorder, cyclothymia, ptsd, and to top off the cake; borderline personality disorder.
I like the world I live in in my head... sometimes. I do know the differance between fantisy and reality, I do a good job of keeping an emotional balance... and this is all without meds. Life is tough having problems like this but its not the end of the world. As for me dating someone who is Bi polar, I would but I hope they are on the proper meds because if not, we may clash. No one has ever told me that I am a wack job, just alittle depressing sometimes.

We all want that perfect person, that includes a perfect mind. No one is perfect anymore.

normalweirdo's photo
Sun 12/20/09 03:37 PM
Great topic, thank you for bringing it up!

A bright side perspective: IF that person attends to their particular challenge in a conscientious way, that person may well exceed those without a diagnosis in self-awareness, self-esteem, personal efficacy, spirituality/community-mindedness, goal-orientation, tenacity, and a variety of other value-laden characteristics worthy of aspiring to. It takes strength, wisdom, and compassion to educate oneself, face the societal stigma with dignity, wrestle with finding the right medication, adjust one's life and identity appropriately, and stay vigilant to physiological, cognitive, and behavioral changes in order to protect themselves and others from harm. Those who work at it can be some of the most admirable and honorable people out there. Short version: no problem, contingent upon how they've chosen to walk their path. And isn't that true of dating anyway?

msharmony's photo
Sun 12/20/09 03:40 PM

Decompensation
"Decompensation is the functional deterioration of a previously working structure or system. Decompensation may occur due to fatigue, stress, illness, or old age. When a system is "compensated", it is able to function despite stressors or defects. Decompensation describes an inability to compensate for these deficiencies. It is a general term commonly used in medicine to describe a variety of situations.

In psychiatry, decompensation is the deterioration of mental health in a patient with previously maintained psychiatric illness, leading to a diminished ability to think and carry on daily activities. This includes loss of memory, both long term and short."


http://dic.academic.ru/dic.nsf/enwiki/267197



You just described my ex,,didnt realize they had a term for that too...