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| Topic: Styx & I Had A Baby | |
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 Chris Griffin: Hey Meg, I'm thinking of a word, and this time it's definately not "kitty". Can you guess? Meg Griffin: Is it kitty? Chris Griffin: Ahhhh! Get out of my head! Get out of my head! |
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um..WTF???
Chris: I don't want to get rid of my pimple, I like him. He's my friend. His name is Doug. Brian: I just wish I didn't have to look at it. Chris: Well, we have to look at your ANUS all day! Stewie:Thank you! Quote Rating: 8.7 outta 10 (Over 449 |
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 WTF???I say mother, this hotdog has been on my plate a full minute and it hasn't yet cut itself. |
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Brian: You want some ice cream?
Stewie: No. Brian: You want some McDonalds? Stewie: No. Brian: You want to take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes? Stewie: Yeah. Brian: Okay, let's go and take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes |
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Stewie: For the love of God, shake me! Shake me like a British nanny!
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Lois Griffin: Peter, there's a naked man on this cake.
Peter Griffin: There were only two cakes left, and trust me, you do not want the one of Al Roker with the Hershey Kiss nipples. |
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Stewie: That coffee mug that you have on your desk, it says life's a
beach? Umm that's dangerously close to the word ***** isn't it? Brian: Uhh, yeah that's the joke. Stewie: Oh, absolutely! And nobody appreciates a joke like Stewie, and you know between you and me I think it's a stitch, but some of the other employees found it offensive. |
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Lois Griffin: Typical male fantasy. Women drinking beer. I can guarantee
that a man made that commercial. Peter Griffin: Of course they did. It's a commercial, not a delicious Thanksgiving dinner. |
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[on the phone] Chris Griffin: So, what are you wearing? [pause] Chris Griffin: Wow. I bet you can see right through that. Lois Griffin: Chris, who are you talking to? Chris Griffin: Grandma. |
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Stewie: What's that? Oh yes, yes. I love crack. I'm absolutely coo-coo
for crack! |
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Peter Griffin: I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Glen Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge. |
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(Stewie runs out of house naked, after a bath, and rolls in mud.)
Stewie: Look Lois! I'm not clean anymore! (Peter-washing his car-sprays Stewie clean with the hose) Peter: There you go. (Stewie looks DOWN at himself in shock.) Stewie: OH MY GOD! I'm a woman!! |
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Damn the toilet. It's made slaves of you all. It just sits there
consuming other people's feces while contributing nothing of its own to society. |
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Stewie: Hello, mother.
Lois: Why, hello Stewie! Stewie: Mother, life is like a box of chocolates--you never know what your gonna get. But your life is like a box of active granades! Lois: Aww, you just want your toy back. Stewie: Victory is mine! (Granades explode.) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH damn you all! |
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Lois Griffin: Peter, did you paste a new picture of yourself on our
wedding picture? Peter Griffin: Yeah I think it looks better. Lois Griffin: You pasted it over me. Peter Griffin: Yeah I think it looks better. |
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Stewie: What do you want?
Man in White: I want to get the hell out of here! Stewie: Oh, I'm sorry, We're fresh out of that, but what I can give you is UNTIMELY DEATH! |
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Peter Griffin: Wh-Who are you?
Death: I'm Callista Flockhart. Who do you think I am? I'm Death. |
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Eliza: Ew, your breath smells like kitty litter.
Stewie: I was curious! |
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Stewie (to Death): Email me at lois must die (all one word) at
yahoo.com. |
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Brian Griffin: You're really going to take back donated gifts on
Christmas Eve? Peter Griffin: Yes, now here's the plan. We'll enter through the air conditioning duct here. Which will be guarded by lasers three inches above the floor, now you'll have to squeeze yourself to the size of about a sponge and then crawl across the floor like a dolphin or some other amphibious mammal. Brian: Can I buy some pot from you? |
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