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| Topic: One GLORIOUS profile - part 3 | |
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apparently so, along with punctuation, my poor eyes
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"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We've all done it...dated around, got serious with a few people here and there, dated around some more...and now you are sitting there reading this...maybe you are bored." Ya think? |
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"You know how to play volleyball, don't you? Back and forth, back and forth...That's what I feel like I've been doing here."
I see it more like jousting, but using big long frozen strips of bacon instead of lances. Mine doesn't really make any more sense then yours does. Oh well. |
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"I AM 63YEARS OLD. MOST PEOPLE TAKE ME FOR ABOUT FIFTY."
You have to learn how to say NO when someone asks you for money. |
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"SIMILIES provided for you with no thought."
I prefer metaphors or some sort of absurdist hyperbole. |
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"First of all... you GUYS... this comment you start out with "Looking for a good woman"... honestly, you don't look hard enough or else there is something wrong with MY profile!"
Well, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to THAT one. And -- if you EVER see "Looking for a good woman" in MY profile, please shoot me. If I ever sink to that level of lame-osity, there's no point in going on.... |
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"I am a country music loving Yankee fan who loves to bake! (How's that for an opening line?)"
Not as good as "I am a kleptomaniac driving instructor with a morbid fear of orange pelicans." |
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"I like a lot of different things.I enjoy all outdoor activities,enjoy meeting new people.And love just quit time by the fireplace."
That's when it's time to go get some more wood. |
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"I'm a serious, happy, and funny sometimes person."
What exactly are you the rest of the time, when you're NOT a person? |
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"I am a single mother of one child who is 1 and 1/2 yrs old. He is my world. i am very independent, I can do alot of things other woman wouldn't dream of."
Like have a kid and make a bad profile. Very impressive. |
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"Yes, I love all the romanic things that everyone else does."
Like the Colosseum, the Pantheon, the Spanish Steps and Trevi Fountain? |
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"I'm happy, successful, driven, intelligent, conservative, educated, interesting, musical, well-read, well-traveled, and an excellent cook. I bring a lot to the table, what about you?"
If you're such a damn good cook, YOU bring it to the table. |
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"I'm a small town girl with a good sense of hummer, good personilty, and a big heart."
I have a feeling you'll be hearing from LOTS of men. |
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"Like everyone else, describing yourself is hard."
That doesn't make any sense unless you work in a Viagra lab. |
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"The cyber monitor will not accept my brief message."
You may have to go directly to the Warlord. |
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"I am Fearfully and wonderfully made."
Are you Godzilla? |
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"Hi guys,I am getting really tired of kissing all these frogs."
Try flamingos, that's no picnic either. |
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"Red head who believes that a face without freckles is like a sky without stars."
Your freckles only come out at night? |
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The entire essay:
"IM F*CkIN SEXY LOL" Sadly no you are not. |
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"I am a laid back, easy-going person; who loves to have fun. I know everybody says that right.. but in my case its true. "
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 3,426,001 times, shame on me. |
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