Derekkye,

I thank God that you have come to this understanding and only hope that more people will. May I add - Sex only with the one you love after the marriage covenant.

Sex only for the one you love.

Marriage is a contract between a man, woman and THE STATE.

You have to pay them to get married and you have to pay them to get divorced. The state used to have a thing where a woman needing a divorce could show her inability to pay for it and the state would pay for it, but that has changed.

Too bad. Sometimes you NEED a divorce before your husband drags you under and into his personal pit of hell and all of his gambling and bad credit and debt problems. In Kansas, if you are married and have a restraining order it is not enforced. There is no respect for the women's rights even if she is being abused.

Women, don't get married. You loose if you do, and your husband begins to think he owns you and visa versa.

People don't own other people and THE STATE has no business in your personal life. It's just there way of keeping track of their empire slaves.

Sorry.. thats the truth as I see it.

I agree that it's lust.There is no love in the friends with benefits so what is it?There was a time in my life where I didn't think that was a big deal.Once I thought about it though I realized I was just being used for sex since the girl only called my when she wanted to have sex.I did not want to be thought of like some throw away boy toy.It's even worse if she is also screwing other guys at the same time.

As a Christian I know that God is not happy with Christians having meaningless sex even if it is with other Christians.I know if I don't straighten my act out and start living the way God wants me to he will never give me the true love I have always waited for.I decided that I would not have meaningless sex with a girl I was not in love with ever again.It has been over 5 years since I had sex and I respect women,and myself much more because of it.I will still hold out until God gives me my special woman even if it takes another 5 years.

Until recently I was open to such a notion, but thanks be to God for helping set it straight with me - friends with benefits = lust. Sex only for the one you love.

If you are not a virgin now, you had sex in the past at some point. If you are a Christian then that would have meant that you sinned in some respect against god.

I dont care if you are married or not.

Its only a sin if you create that turmoil for yourself.

Sin is the turmoil we ourselves create out of our slavish devotion to the mind / taskmaster doling out appraisals of "good" and "bad".

Yep. I imagine lust simply floods the brain with dopamine. Probably several other hormones as well. Collectively these hormones conspire to give us that feeling of euphoria that we associate with meeting someone new that we have sexual interest in.

Thats why rejection can also be a problem for some people and can lead to "crimes of passion." Those hormones have a heavy duty effect on the brain.

Perhaps "crimes of passion" manifest when the mind battles itself under the tyranny of "good" and "bad".

The science involved provides half the equation. The worm-hole-like connection between our conscious mind / brain function and the unseen energy that shapes matter into physical form completes the equation.

How?

This to me sounds like an unfounded assumption. No offense. Fill in the equation then lets proof it against reality and see if it holds water.

If I really wanted to research that topic, I think I would start with interviewing as many people that I could find who were currently incarcerated for crimes of passion to ask them some questions about how much they remember in the time period leading up to the crime.

My guess is its partly hormonal and triggered by that.

Dopamine - Prolactin Relationship at Orgasm

Dopamine- RED / Prolactin- BLUE

dopamine drops, prolactin rises

Research shows that prolactin surges immediately after orgasm in both men and women. Men may experience this prolactin surge as the "roll over and snore" phenomenon. In women, the effects may be delayed for days. We notice that the effects come and go for about two weeks.

There’s an inverse relationship between the levels of prolactin and dopamine; when one is up the other is down. This rise and fall produces a dopamine/prolactin roller coaster of highs and lows, and this roller coaster is a major part of the post-orgasm hangover.

What do couples complain of as their honeymoons end? The very symptoms associated with high prolactin: weight gain, drop in libido, mood changes, depression. Notice that in women excess prolactin is also associated with anxiety and hostility. Sound familiar? The following table lists symptoms of patients with chronically elevated prolactin. We think that after sex, the surges may be more subtle, but still noticeable in their effects.
Women Men
Loss of libido Loss of libido
Mood changes / depression Mood changes / depression
Hostility, anxiety Impotence
Headache Headache
Menopausal symptoms,
even when estrogen is sufficient Infertility
Signs of increased testosterone levels Decreased testosterone levels

Although research hasn’t shown how long prolactin surges continue in humans after sex, in female rats, twice daily surges of prolactin continue for up to two weeks. This may help to explain how great sex last week could lead to relationship friction now. And it’s no wonder we don’t make the link between cause and effect.

There’s also evidence that prolactin acts as a stress hormone. Unlike the "fight or flight" stress hormones, prolactin seems to be associated with "giving up," or "despair-type" stress. When a wild monkey is first caged, "fight or flight" stress hormones rise. As time goes by and despair sets in, "fight or flight" hormones fall and prolactin rises. Could these surges of prolactin explain agitation, wanting "space," or irritation with your partner that seems to come out of nowhere and then die down? Over time, could these recurring feelings also lead to relationship disillusionment?

To summarize thus far, orgasm leads to a drop in dopamine and a rise in prolactin. Both of these lead to multiple behavioral and emotional symptoms, which, in our experience, can arise over the next two weeks. During this time, behavior may change for the worse. More importantly, lovers' perception of each other can shift dramatically for the worse. If we feel depleted, our partner will seem overly demanding; if we feel needy, our partner will seem selfish and uncaring. Bickering and emotional separation then lead to further friction. Of course, few people ever avoid orgasm for two weeks. Most of us ride this roller coaster over and over, never really experiencing balanced brain chemistry - or the easy harmony that accompanies it.