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| Topic: 33 Reasons | |
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However, it seems to me that he had a rough time growing up, or something drastic happened, like parents treated him bad or people picked on him at school...etc. He NEEDS that reassurance. He is very insecure about himself. I'm insecure myself, so it's easy for me to say where he is coming from. At the same time, he doesn't have to do a lot of the stuff he is doing. If he cared about you, he would talk to you too and not be as selfish. Have you ever been straight up before and tell him how he is acting? I think a letter (a nice letter) would be the best. I really hope this helps. It's really hard for guys who are insecure about themselves to be in relationships. And a lot of them ARE very selfish and self-centered. Luckily I wasn't. I hope this helps you. Talk to you later, -Matthew Matthew, I have to admit I read your post and was STUNNED. Yes, I made repeated and kind responses to his behavior. Here is the thing, he grew up in a divorced family and his mother remarried a man to whom he is very bonded. He has a very close relationship with all of his family, and just went to his high school reunion. He played football in high school and was very much the "man". So lemme tell you what I think happened to dude. He is a spoiled, selfish immature jock who isn't hot stuff anymore since he left high school. High school was the best time of his life, and where he shone. Afterwards, he was faced with the harsh reality that he was a regular guy. He can't be the man he wants to be in the real world and repeatedly turns women off or pushes them away from him as they do not meet his unrealistic fantasies of his perfect and ideal woman. He can't commit to anything, not even to himself. The older he gets, the worse this becomes. He needs professional help, and I'm not it. You don't enter into a relationship unless you are healthy and you love yourself. For him to act the way he did? That's just high school crap. And it's not working for him anymore. He needs to grow up and act his age. If he chooses not to, he will be a very loney bachelor with an average sized penis. Oh, and by the way, I did send a nice letter, last week. Which he received in a boorish, selfish, and azzholish manner. |
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Matthew,
I understand where you are coming from, to a point. However, I don't see how it is her job to coddle him because he may or may not have had a rough life. We all have our problems. When you date someone for just a few weeks... you can't put it on them to put up with you being childish and selfish and any other "ish" I can think of. |
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Okay, after reading all of this, I do agree that you were treated wrong. However, it seems to me that he had a rough time growing up, or something drastic happened, like parents treated him bad or people picked on him at school...etc. He NEEDS that reassurance. -Matthew F*ck that sh*t he's a grown man, he needs to grow a pair and not push his insecurities onto other people.... I'm so God Damn tired of all the mamby pamby "I'm a victim of society" bullsh*t.... We all have issues, and we all had bullsh*t growing up...and if he can't handle his issues he needs to not bring other people into his world of insecurity and self victimizations. GUYS WHO ACT THIS WAY...GROW A PAIR, OR STAY THE F*CK OUT OF THE GENE POOL. (that goes for women too by the way)  YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Lily!!! well put oh boohooo I had a rough childhood, no one loves me, why oh why... get a flipping clue people.....  wtg Lily (again will proclaim you to be one of my idols!!!!) you say it how it is
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Okay, after reading all of this, I do agree that you were treated wrong. However, it seems to me that he had a rough time growing up, or something drastic happened, like parents treated him bad or people picked on him at school...etc. He NEEDS that reassurance. -Matthew F*ck that sh*t he's a grown man, he needs to grow a pair and not push his insecurities onto other people.... I'm so God Damn tired of all the mamby pamby "I'm a victim of society" bullsh*t.... We all have issues, and we all had bullsh*t growing up...and if he can't handle his issues he needs to not bring other people into his world of insecurity and self victimizations. GUYS WHO ACT THIS WAY...GROW A PAIR, OR STAY THE F*CK OUT OF THE GENE POOL. (that goes for women too by the way) WTG Lily!!!!! I'm sure glad someone else put it the way I was thinking it!!!! I'm afraid to get too graphic, but this is EXACTLY how I feel about all these excuses people come up with these days!!! |
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I want to know why an azzhole who treated me like crap deserves a nice letter? To reward his boorish juvenile behavior? Maybe I should have just sent him the names of some good psychologists. He needs help, but rest assured there is no childhood trauma or damage. He was TMI drama king, for pete's sake.... he'd have told me. I know so much...
Just like he told me about his prostate exam, and how much his vet bill was, and his best golf drive, and why he ate a salad every night for a snack with the seeds cut out of the tomatoes because the seeds were slimy and 'snot like' and it freaked him out. Or how much he weighed on a daily basis, as if I care. Who weighs themselves every day???? And how he washes his dishes in lukewarm water, not hot, before he will sit down to eat. And what he thought about during sex and how many sexual partners he's had. All in detail, all unsolicited information. Oh, and then there was the "I'm an athlete" comment he made every time we talked. Never once did the dude ask about me. Or remember anything I said. Even when I was sick, he never asked how I felt. Because he does not care..... he only cares for himself. He cannot bond with others. Maybe his family, but not others. He admitted to lies to himself and his friends all the time. |
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The person I was just dating is an A-Hole. Going to send this via snail mail..... thoughts? 1. You are a drama king…. 2. You got ****-faced drunk when meeting my best friend. 3. You told my best friend that I had larger breasts than your ex, while I was sitting there. 4. You repeatedly interrupted our conversations to say they were “too deep” and could we change the subject. 5. You talk about how you think your penis is small on a daily basis. 6. You never asked about me or tried to get to know me. 7. Everything is about you. EVERYTHING. 8. When presented with a topic you often lied and later decided to be honest. After days of a keeping up the lie. 9. You compliment me and then make a self-deprecating remark at the end to draw attention back onto yourself. 10. You are indecisive. Translation: weak spirited & weak minded. 11. You have no idea who you are. 12. You start and end every phone call with what a rough day you had and how tired you are. 13. You have a trousseau of emotional baggage and expect others to deal with it. 14. You are rude and uncouth, with little to no manners or filter. 15. You give out too much information. 16. You are the most selfish person in bed I’ve ever met. 17. You said things to me on the first date you had no right to. Emo….. 18. You said on date two that you meant things said on date one but shouldn’t have said them. 19. Four days later, you said all things said on date one were a joke. 20. You forced me to have the same slow down conversation three times, while I was one the same even keel let’s be friends all along. 21. You yelled at me when I tried to tell you that you hurt my feelings. 22. You drink entirely too much. 23. You have extreme control and anxiety issues, yet try to pass yourself off as laid back. 24. You don’t have a poor memory as you claim, but rather you just don’t give a **** about anyone but yourself so you don’t pay enough attention. 25. You tell me on Monday to come over whenever, that I have carte blanche. Your words. 26. Tuesday you ignore me completely. 27. Wednesday you send a dear Jane letter via e-mail. 28. You are an extremely self-centered person with very low self-esteem. 29. You are single because you want to be, because you really only want to care about other people. You don’t really care…. But you think you want to. 30. If you wanted to change, you would. You choose not to. 31. You think it’s okay to treat people poorly and do not at all live by the Golden Rule. 32. You can only date down, as the strong smart women are simply too complicated for you. We are honest and don’t play games. And you don’t get that. 33. Finally, you are an azzhole because you thought I was upset at your email. You never knew me, as you did not take the time to try. I took the time to write all this out in the hopes that the next woman you met will be treated better. I know I didn’t deserve the way you treated me, and I don’t want anyone else to have to be subjected to it either. If you’re not willing to change, then just stop dating. Really. You are an azzhole.  So your available again?
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Matthew, I have to admit I read your post and was STUNNED. Yes, I made repeated and kind responses to his behavior. Here is the thing, he grew up in a divorced family and his mother remarried a man to whom he is very bonded. He has a very close relationship with all of his family, and just went to his high school reunion. He played football in high school and was very much the "man". So lemme tell you what I think happened to dude. He is a spoiled, selfish immature jock who isn't hot stuff anymore since he left high school. High school was the best time of his life, and where he shone. Afterwards, he was faced with the harsh reality that he was a regular guy. He can't be the man he wants to be in the real world and repeatedly turns women off or pushes them away from him as they do not meet his unrealistic fantasies of his perfect and ideal woman. He can't commit to anything, not even to himself. The older he gets, the worse this becomes. He needs professional help, and I'm not it. You don't enter into a relationship unless you are healthy and you love yourself. For him to act the way he did? That's just high school crap. And it's not working for him anymore. He needs to grow up and act his age. If he chooses not to, he will be a very loney bachelor with an average sized penis. Oh, and by the way, I did send a nice letter, last week. Which he received in a boorish, selfish, and azzholish manner. Lilith....were you dating Al Bundy from Married with Children?? You absolutely don't deserve that. |
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I want to know why an azzhole who treated me like crap deserves a nice letter? To reward his boorish juvenile behavior? Maybe I should have just sent him the names of some good psychologists. He needs help, but rest assured there is no childhood trauma or damage. He was TMI drama king, for pete's sake.... he'd have told me. I know so much... Just like he told me about his prostate exam, and how much his vet bill was, and his best golf drive, and why he ate a salad every night for a snack with the seeds cut out of the tomatoes because the seeds were slimy and 'snot like' and it freaked him out. Or how much he weighed on a daily basis, as if I care. Who weighs themselves every day???? And how he washes his dishes in lukewarm water, not hot, before he will sit down to eat. And what he thought about during sex and how many sexual partners he's had. All in detail, all unsolicited information. Oh, and then there was the "I'm an athlete" comment he made every time we talked. Never once did the dude ask about me. Or remember anything I said. Even when I was sick, he never asked how I felt. Because he does not care..... he only cares for himself. He cannot bond with others. Maybe his family, but not others. He admitted to lies to himself and his friends all the time. Uhm, love, my beautiful stunning friend.... lady of which whom has given me the whatfor on many occasions...WHY THE F*CK DID YOU TOLERATE THAT? R.I.P man of which who's name does not bear speaking... You were once a friend to me Now you are my enemy Passion turns to hate and you make hate worth fighting for. wish I could take credit for writing that to him, but it's a new scorpions song... (well newer at least) It's my motto for jerkoffs, and captures my ability to dismiss people just as easily as I included them in my life. |
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Yes, Lee. I'm single..... ready to get the hook up for giving the look up.....
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I want to know why an azzhole who treated me like crap deserves a nice letter? To reward his boorish juvenile behavior? Maybe I should have just sent him the names of some good psychologists. He needs help, but rest assured there is no childhood trauma or damage. He was TMI drama king, for pete's sake.... he'd have told me. I know so much... Just like he told me about his prostate exam, and how much his vet bill was, and his best golf drive, and why he ate a salad every night for a snack with the seeds cut out of the tomatoes because the seeds were slimy and 'snot like' and it freaked him out. Or how much he weighed on a daily basis, as if I care. Who weighs themselves every day???? And how he washes his dishes in lukewarm water, not hot, before he will sit down to eat. And what he thought about during sex and how many sexual partners he's had. All in detail, all unsolicited information. Oh, and then there was the "I'm an athlete" comment he made every time we talked. Never once did the dude ask about me. Or remember anything I said. Even when I was sick, he never asked how I felt. Because he does not care..... he only cares for himself. He cannot bond with others. Maybe his family, but not others. He admitted to lies to himself and his friends all the time. oh Lilith, I dont think he deserved a nice letter at all, I think he didnt deserve your time at all. But things happen, in this case it didnt work out, cut all losses and continue your journey. Absolutely no need to appease his self esteem (that's his personal problem not yours).  let bygones be bygone and he done there been bygoned...
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Lily and Fran....
I have no idea why I tolerated it. I just know that since I wrote the letter and mailed it I haven't checked my phone for a message from him since, and when it rings I don't think or want it to be him. All in all, I say I think it did it's job. I really would like to be a fly on the wall when he reads it though....just for entertainment value. I don't hate him, I pity him slightly and feel bad for all the unsuspecting ladies who come next. He might do well with a 19-year-old with ADD..... but she'd grow out of him in a year or two once her brain assimilated the ADD better with brain maturity. So who knows.... |
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JT... that was funny. He didn't sneer or wear bad clothes, but otherwise you made a stunning observation!!!!
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Theres always the Mmatchmaking Game.......
I am an expert at weeding out the nasty |
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Theres always the Mmatchmaking Game....... I am an expert at weeding out the nasty Ahhh, Deb. I am actually already in mailing cahoots with someone. I started replying to mails and doing the match thing when this dude negatively responded to my sexy flity letter last week. He was on this ice when this happened. I can only put up with so much. But you are a doll for offering. You know I adore you. |
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Lily and Fran.... I have no idea why I tolerated it. I just know that since I wrote the letter and mailed it I haven't checked my phone for a message from him since, and when it rings I don't think or want it to be him. All in all, I say I think it did it's job. I really would like to be a fly on the wall when he reads it though....just for entertainment value. I don't hate him, I pity him slightly and feel bad for all the unsuspecting ladies who come next. He might do well with a 19-year-old with ADD..... but she'd grow out of him in a year or two once her brain assimilated the ADD better with brain maturity. So who knows.... Better yet Lilith, who cares? may he get the best he can, so long as he is someone else's problem  |
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Fran, I do care... it is something about my female paying it forward theory...
I know it is silly. |
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JT... that was funny. He didn't sneer or wear bad clothes, but otherwise you made a stunning observation!!!! You should ask if he scored 4 TDs for Polk High
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Fran, I do care... it is something about my female paying it forward theory... I know it is silly. ahh I get it I call that the thinking Pink personality; thats when we as women put away our arsenal of toughness, common sense and rationale and just want some good old vengeance (I too suffer from that think pink mentality, rather think we all do at one time or another)  |
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No, not vengeance. It is trying to ge the guy to see what he has done so that he might not do it to other women. I could care less about this guy, I just want him to stop doing it to others. I'm trying to look out for the future women, if I can.
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No, not vengeance. It is trying to ge the guy to see what he has done so that he might not do it to other women. I could care less about this guy, I just want him to stop doing it to others. I'm trying to look out for the future women, if I can. this is what makes you one of my idols This may be a losing battle as it is clear he doesn't see his own shortcomings and betcha he truly just doesn't care. but kudos Lilith
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