That was one of the things the GriefShare ladies told me at one of my earlier meetings. That we just can't replace what we lost. Nadine came to the nursing home when the residents had their singings during the activity time. She also led the GriefShare meetings. She told me that we aren't like interchangeable parts although it is tempting to fill the void and the emptiness of grief. So I quit hitting up on the ladies at the GriefShare meetings and had to learn how to deal with my grief like they were. It made me wonder if she had tried the same thing. I later thanked her because even though I tried to bypass the dating scene I found that I was just a commodity like a divorcee or a single person. It was just like me to try to take the softer and easier way. It didn't work in my AA and NA meetings either. One just can't skip the one day at a time. One has to live through it.

Smiles Been living through it now when is it my time?

Hey Carol

DAY BY DAY...WHAT CAN I SAY!!!!

You would think 19 years you would be over the loss. It still bothers me a lot in fact it hurts.

No...you never get over it...at least that is what Im told...you accept it..

How long were you married? I had 28 years with him...wasnt enough for me..

Cathy

I was married less then 3 years

sorry you didnt have more...Any children...that is the only thing that keeps me hanging on, I lost him in 2006

No kids
Dave

I am sorry I guess I ended another thread.

Didnt end another thread, Dave...lol

We are just chillin....

I agree you never "get over it" and widowed people hate that term. It's like the word "closure". You accept it you deal with it you live with it. It is what it is. You move forward, you move along, you can move past it, by going Thru it, but "over it"...is not possible. I always say it's like a wound that heals but leaves a scar. I'll never forget that time, and that pain, and the fight we went thru, but I no longer dwell on it and it was 9 years for me last month.

Good Saturday Morning to you all! Here's some coffee to jump start our day!

Im looking for that first drink of the evening, actually... hello peeps!

(((((Cathy))))))) I'll have a glass of wine with ya!

<-------she hands her good buddy a glass and the bottle...we shall each have a bottle and just sizzle all night...what do ya think about that....Hugs and smacks to you doll!!!!

Cathy

I'm tired of being a widow!!

Hello, I am Sadie.
I have not been on here awhile. It has been one of those times. I concentrated on writing to get through.

I am sorry for your despair. I can feel it so strongly. Nothing feels like it helps, sometimes. On the 11th it was 3 years. It brought me down a bit. How has it been for you? talk if you'd like..or not..
This is a good place.

s

I am so sorry for your loss Sadie. My life has been nothing but miserable since my beloved Josh left. Although, in April (after the 2 year mark) I made a decision I wanted to be happy again and try to live everyday to the fullest. (yea! for me!) I think I'm just having some bad days. I have started gaining more "good days" and have less "bad days"--but the bad days are bad! I just miss him so much, ya know?

Morning
I understand missing.. I made a decision to put the past in that place. It has not left him, by any means. I have a new perspective. I am learning how to live differently..just differently...breathe each new breath. Others will not understand..and I can allow their breathing as well. I am trying to learn how to sleep again.
today I work..I hope to talk again soon..do you read the forums? There are many widows and widowers out there..many others that are just real..
it is a good day, with each memory it feels..feeling is good..
sadie

Good Morning all Let's have some coffee and chat.


(((((((Sadie)))))))) I missed you and I'm sorry you're in a rough patch.


((((((((Outandabout))))))))) the bad days to get fewer at your stage but when they hit they can be very very difficult! We are here to listen.