not worried about a man!

and all in all i could NOT be more happier.

i'm going by the advice my mom gave me today
"laura, if no one can love your daughter, don't even let them into your life. and i don't mean just a man, i mean new friends, etc."

story of my life.

yeah well i just jotted it down lol

thank you!

She is a mess. An explosion of creativity rolled into a disaster they call "Impure". A story where the ending to the fairytale begins as she is in distress calling out to her Romeo, her shining prince, who never seems to hear her. She is alone. She is indecent. She is nothing more than that created only to fall apart. Her mind wanders freely amoung the drugs on her high kite soaring through the breeze amoung the clouds away from sadness, away from civilization. She puts herself through the dark awakening jsut to hear his voice in her ear once more. Life is like a fairytale, live it to its fullest, the drugs will wear off soon.

thank you

thats very true.

sometimes i surprise myself at how truthful i really am.

Sometimes daddies rape their daughters before they lay them to sleep. And some other lucky little girls are sung lullabies just as they drift off, tucked safe in their beds. Sometimes a bride and groom are killed in a car accident on their wedding night, and somewhere out there an elderly couple is celebrating their 65th anniversary. Sometimes a young woman wears extra make-up; not because she isn't pretty, but so she can cover up the anger her boyfriend left on her face the night before. Other times you'll find a man at a 24-hour convenience store, conveniently at 3 am, because his pregnant fiance is having another one of her lima bean cravings. Sometimes taking a whole bottle of sleeping pills, wouldn't do the trick for a young man, and he still lives, thinking even that task had failed. In other cases, the mentally and physically fit boy walking down the street is caught in a drive-by shooting. Of course he dies. Sometimes babies are born blind and never get to see the beautiful face of their mother. And others have 20/20 vision and grow up and chose not to be a pilot.
The world is not pretty. The world is not pleasant. I haven't really taken much liking to it, thus far. And I don't want to get started on the government. Maybe I just choose not to learn about politics and such things like that. but I know that if I did, it would just make me dislike this place that we live in, even more than I already do. That's why I'm hopping the border to Canada! Okay, I kid. but seriously, this is just The United States. There's a whole world out there and it amazes me when people get disgruntled about petty things when there's starving people in Africa. Okay, wow; I just sounded like one of those infomercials, but you could never get away from this. We can never solve all the problems we've made for ourselves. That's what's scary.
I truly believe that life is based on a hand of cards that you're dealt. and I'm not so sure God's the dealer. I'm not so sure he started out with a full deck, either. I could stand here today and say that bad things happen because "God wants to test our faith." And I'm sorry, but I screw that. God is said to be the only person that doesn't sin. He also supposedly has our whole lives planned out. Now, I'm not perfect, but I most definitely could not create a little girl just so the man I created 10 years prior, could slit her throat, just before having his way with her. Maybe that's just not my style. Maybe I'm a little too sarcastic. I do know that clearly I'm not perfect, but neither is he, even though everyone's claiming him to be this divine being. I do understand everyone's response to this is, "Well, golly gee, if Earth was perfect, then what would be the point in Heaven?" Very true. I'm not asking for perfection; nobody is. But sometimes I question God. Sheesh, maybe it is all Eve's fault, like John Milton explains in 'Paradise Lost'. That apple better not have been no granny smith. I say go for the red delicious! So obviously I don't take things in life too seriously, but sometimes you just can't.
I can truthfully say I've never prayed in my life. I was always the person who observed others as we sometimes randomly prayed at my great-grandmother's at the dinner table. I also saw the others who chose to keep their eyes open as well. It was almost like a secret. It's not that I doubt that there's a God. Sometimes I just think people come to a point in their life where they go towards the light or they stray away from it. Maybe I'm just bitter. And not to rationalize it or anything, but I think I have plenty enough reason to be. and I'm sure most people in this world, and room, do as well. I'm not saying there's not a higher power out there. Just look at us. The fact that we're able to carry one of our own inside of us and bring life into this world is just incredible to me. There has to be something more out there.
I am not a naive person, whatsoever. And quite frankly, lately, I can't stand some people. Even people that I'm in close terms with. It annoys me to no end how spoiled and selfish some people are. But then I have to think; this world has to be made up of all kinds because, really, it's what makes it go round and round. Maybe I'm just jealous of their ignorance. I'm sure that's a more plausible theory. Nevertheless, I just think that people don't appreciate the simple things in life. Actually, none of us really do when you think about it. Except maybe Buddhists. Ha. But this is nothing you haven't heard before, or nothing you don't already know. So basically, this is my World according to me. I don't know if I should apologize for being so vulgar, because I probably wouldn't really mean it. Because I am, after all, writing about this World. and how could you do that and leave out the vulgarity? It probably doesn't make much sense, but nothing in this World of ours really does.

no theres reasons behind as to why it says i have no children.

i turn 19 on the 13th. tthanks : )

age makes no difference, well maybe to an extent but at the end of the day its about the love you give that child

and pink lady, i haven't had my little girl yet, shes due on valentines day

no thats alright

but i'm just afraid that i won't find a decent guy or hell "man" to love both my child and i because lets face it, if you don't love my little girl you can forget about me because she will always come first and i want the best for her and her not having a daddy in her life is just not fair! but most of the guys my age, 19. are still in there prime and want to party. i chose to party earlier on in my life and now i've matured a lot faster then most girls my age. but i guess everything happens in mysterious ways and maybe just maybe mr. right will show up someday. if not i'll have to play both roles for my daughter, mommy and daddy.

hes um a douchebag

i could care less about my ex because heres his pathetic story.

first he was with this girl, Monica. They were together for over a year and were planning on getting married, he got her pregnant. But unfortunately there son passed away last january. So they broke it off. Then he passed the torch to me and we've known each other a year prior to this and we went out and we also were planning on getting married (very stupid on my part). well he gets me pregnant and then dumps me sometime around the end of july. i moved back with my mom. THEN he gets with this girl kara, they also were engaged after only three months of knowing each other. well then they broke up and he left her pregnant. NOW hes with this other girl, she already has a baby girl whom she had with a boy prior.

all in all my ex is a pathetic excuse of a person

We ask what is a single mother? Is she a woman with much strength and love or pain and fear? Maybe she's the devil in disguise or perhaps the angel beneath the pain.

Could she be a woman of much style and grace?

One thing is for certain; no one can understand what a single mother is unless they experience the feeling themselves. A single mother is a woman who is filled with everlasting, unconditional love, and words of wisdom to guide the way through life.

A single mother doesn't recieve much credit today for the way she dedicates her life to working long hard hours and making time in her busy schedule to take care of what is hers. She goes through life trying so hard to do her best for her child, yet sometimes she feels as if the world is caving in, although one thing goes up, another one comes down.

For instance; she might get a raise at work but then the bills pile up. She has no financial support. She struggles to put food on her table and a roof over family's head. The only thing that keeps her family alive and well is her and her love.

People with traditional standards always seem to say, " How dare she bear a child alone with no husband!" They don't understand the concept that life doesn't always turn out the way we planned. We don't always get what we want.

Very judgmental people snarl and stare as the single mother walks by with her beautiful little girl for whom she has sacrificed her life. If she needs a jacket or a pair of shoes, yet her child does too, her child comes first. She puts all of her wants and needs aside for the sake of her child.

I've had a single mother for twenty difficult years of my life. It wasn't easy for either of us. I had to grow up quicker than most kids so that I could help my mother. Thoughts of not having a father became an issue from time to time, but today I wouldn't change it for the world!

When I was a little girl and I fell and scraped my knee; good old mommy was there to doctor me up with her tender touch and loving care. She tucked me into bed at night and rubbed my belly when I was sick.

When adolescence was my stage in life, grammar school wasn't so easy for me because my classmates used to tease me and laugh at me because I didn't have what they had. It always seemed as if I was alone.

But when the time came to cry, my mom had a way of showing me how to take my hanging head and hold it up high and proud. As adulthood moved in and romance became a part of my life, mother was often needed.

I fell in love and he broke my heart. I ran to my mother and poured out all my pain. I couldn't seem to conquer the fear of moving on and tears fell like the rain pouring down on a dark, gloomy day, but mommy was always there.

She taught me how to disregard my fears, and she calmed my cries by showing me that life goes on. She told me "You have to accept what has gone wrong, forgive him and yourself and move on."

Some say a mother is one who bears children, one who cooks and cleans and that's all she is here for. For me, she's the soothing of the soul and the healing of the heart.

A mother: a kind-hearted woman with much strength, wisdom, and integrity.



i don't take credit for writing this, but its the life i'm going to be living.

thank you. I couldn't agree with you more!