The suggestions are mostly good advice on here....except the whole alcohol and dead ones....bit much guys...lol


I have found that keeping busy, having friends who are there to help you work through it helps, and always, learn from whatever mistakes you made and she made, and look for someone who is nothing like her.

I started a topic on this one in Parenting Talk:

"Honey, I wanted to be the one to tell you this. I joined eHarmony, and have been on a couple of dates with a woman they matched me with. I'd like us to stay together until I'm sure this is the one.....Besides, I don't think I can be a dad to a child who may be dependent for the rest of his life." My son has special needs...just to explain the last part.

I'm grateful for all the men and women who have, and continue to, put their lives on the line for our nation.

And for my handsome, loving little man...even when he's being a little booger.

Thank you all for your kind replies. I did stop seeing him that day.

Nothing is certain in life, and I just do my best for myself, and my son.

You folks are wonderful people, and I enjoy reading all that you have to say.

Very well said here.

May I add, some baggage is actually a person...someone who the other person hasn't figured out is hurting them more than helping, be it a "buddy" or an ex....not talking about a mother/father of their child, but a needy ex who always seems to "need" them for this or that.

Happy New Year!!!

I dated a fella for about 3 years, he knew I was a single mother, and that my son has special needs. Right around year two, he tells me that he wants children of his own, knowing that I had a hysterectomy, due to medical problems.

So I asked him if he wanted to stop seeing me, he said no, that he loved me, so we stayed together. Here's the one for the books, right after we celebrated our third year as a couple, he drops this one in my lap...."Baby, I wanted to tell you this myself. I joined eHarmony, and have been on a couple of dates with a woman they matched me with. I don't know if it's going to go anywhere yet, so I'd like us to stay together until I know for sure if this is the one." Then he throws this in for good measure, "Besides, I don't think I can be a dad to a child who may be dependent for the rest of his life."

Needless to say, have been single since that day, three years ago.

Just was thinking about that, so figured I'd put it on here.

In all honesty, I try to make sure any potential mate who has spent some time getting to know me knows that I cannot have any more children.

I don't ever want to feel THAT way again, like I was suddenly less than a woman in his eyes because I couldn't provide offspring for him.

I have extravagance once every three to four months, I get my hair professionally trimmed and dyed. I have had white in my hair since I was sixteen, and life has been a bit hard to take from time to time....so yeah, I have lots of it in there now.

Do I think I look younger than I am, nope.....but for the most part, I DO feel younger than I actually am.

I would like a little normality in my life this year...a new job, preferably in an office, and one really good friend/lover, someone who isn't so screwed up from a previous relationship that they compare everything I do and say to their ex, someone drug and disease free, and is willing to deal with the fact that I'm a single mother of a special needs child.

I know, I know, I'm asking for a lot, but hey, a person can dream. Right?

Now look what you went and did, you let them in on the most important secret.....shame on you..hang your head miss....

ty ty....love that quote

My biggest turnoff is when someone is too "interested" in meeting my son before he really gets to know me......BIG RED FLAG THERE.

This year, I did get him one big techno thing...a Kurio7 tablet...it's kinda like an Ipad, just cheaper....

we use it as a positive reinforcement for good behavior, compliance, and he like the silly songs and cartoons we downloaded onto it...my son has autism, and this tablet was recommended by his occupational therapist.

As a single parent myself, I agree. I was "raised" not left to my own devices. My son has a whole support team all for him, from myself to my sister, bro in law, my mother, and his teacher and aides.

Between all of us, he is growing up as correctly as he is able to.

We show them how to recognize danger, how to be polite and respectful, to be healthy in mind, body and spirit, and to take responsibility for their own actions.

Do they follow the path we set them on? Not always, but prayerfully, they will return to it, and stay on it once they've strayed.

"Some women are out there trying to get a man, or keep a man. I'm trying to RAISE a man..." Jerry McGuire

It doesn't mean you don't deserve what everyone else does, someone who will be with you through thick and thin. I applaud all single fathers, mothers, and hell, grandparents out there raising these little angels on their own.

Just take your time, be a little more selective from now on, because, you have to remember, you're a package deal now, and know that there are more single parents out here than you realize, in the same situation, and are struggling through the dating pains just like you.

I have focused on my son since the day I found out I was pregnant with him. His father and I were engaged, but he decided that he couldn't deal with becoming a parent and took off when I was 2 1/2 months along.

His loss.

It took me years to stop focusing solely on my kiddo, working long hours to pay for everything he needed, not excepting help from friends and family, because I felt that I made the decision to have a child. I was wearing myself thin.

My son has special needs, and that, too, kept me from trying to date.

Then one day, my sister told me that if I didn't go out with my friends, she was going to have me committed, cause I was insane to think that I was the only person who could care for my son.....lol....she was joking, but I got the point.

I haven't found that one person YET...but I haven't stopped looking...just be cautious, considerate, and remember, you can't take care of your kiddos if you don't take care of yourself, too.

Thankfully, I have a child who would rather get books, a doctor play set, and maybe a car or two....

I think it's crazy when I hear parents talking about how they have to take two paychecks to buy their kids' Christmas presents.

Let's not forget that they make us feel safe, protected, and speak their minds...whether we want them to or not.

Wellllll...plus the fact that they know how to cook, clean, sew and take orders

To live is not to arrive at the grave site, in a well preserved body, but to come skidding in sideways, totally worn out, body beat up, yelling, "Holy h***, what a ride!!"

Don't know who said it, but I agree.

Heh...sure it exists...in movies and books.