Previous 1 3
Topic: single dad here with a question
edmguy94's photo
Thu 08/30/12 04:53 AM
I've read alot of the posts here about single parents and I was just wondering since when did being a single parent( male or female) become such a problem for people.I'm a single dad raising my son on my own,but that shouldnt mean that I and other single dads dont deserve to be happy and in love just because we have children.Yes being a single parent doesnt leave alot of time to date but its not the quantity of time its the quality time that matters ,just saying.

elja's photo
Thu 08/30/12 05:29 AM
If it is a problem for someone then they are not the person for you. Being a parent is not a drawback or an issue. If you are a father that is devoted to his child, it is actually a very attractive feature. The right person is waiting for you out there.

no photo
Thu 08/30/12 06:31 AM

If it is a problem for someone then they are not the person for you. Being a parent is not a drawback or an issue. If you are a father that is devoted to his child, it is actually a very attractive feature. The right person is waiting for you out there.




I totaly agree!

no photo
Thu 08/30/12 07:15 AM
Everyone has different preferences. I would be willing to date someone with a child as long as they actually had time to date. Otherwise, there would be no way to get to know them well enough.

blueeyes2000's photo
Thu 08/30/12 12:58 PM

I've read alot of the posts here about single parents and I was just wondering since when did being a single parent( male or female) become such a problem for people.I'm a single dad raising my son on my own,but that shouldnt mean that I and other single dads dont deserve to be happy and in love just because we have children.Yes being a single parent doesnt leave alot of time to date but its not the quantity of time its the quality time that matters ,just saying.



Being a single parent trying to date can be a little hard sometimes. I can tell you from experience, trying to juggle work, kids, and their friends, school activities, extra activities, etc. can make it very hard sometimes to find time to slip away for dinner or a movie, or just some quiet adult time. It takes patience from both sides and understanding that there may be a few cancelled at the last minute dates.

Ladywind7's photo
Thu 08/30/12 02:03 PM
Being a single parent is not a curse. There are plenty of people who have no problem with this. But you do need to be careful who you bring into your childs life. Choose wisely, dont introduce them to your children until you trust and know them.

Cutiepieforyou's photo
Thu 08/30/12 02:06 PM

Being a single parent is not a curse. There are plenty of people who have no problem with this. But you do need to be careful who you bring into your childs life. Choose wisely, dont introduce them to your children until you trust and know them.


Good advice Ladywindflowerforyou

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 08/30/12 08:40 PM

I've read alot of the posts here about single parents and I was just wondering since when did being a single parent( male or female) become such a problem for people.I'm a single dad raising my son on my own,but that shouldnt mean that I and other single dads dont deserve to be happy and in love just because we have children.Yes being a single parent doesnt leave alot of time to date but its not the quantity of time its the quality time that matters ,just saying.



Oh Please. You DESERVE to be happy? AND in love. Sorry feeling ENTITLED to anything is exactly what IS making life so tough for Single Parents.

People who earn what they have by hard work, making personal sacrifices, useing self control, staying in difficult relationships, and keeping their families intact have a hard time seeing that Single Parents have a lot of entitlement to just be "happy" and deserve as much help as many of them are getting.

Is that always fair? Do some single parents wait and make responsible choices and become single through no fault if their own? Do they shoulder the responsibilities of parent hood at great personal sacrifice? Do some even find new definitions of family that give their kids healthy happy homes? YES of course.

But so many single parents don't do that well. They are selfish. Parking their kids who are already barely seeing the other parent they are ENTITLED TO here, there, and yonder not so they can work and pay their own bills but so they can have some fun. THe kids stay up all hours of the day and night, disrupt classrooms, the enjoyment of going to a movie, eating a meal out, or destroy shopping venues, and rental property.

Single parents that delude themself with the idea that "quality time" has nothing to do with quantity just don't get relationships take 24/7 committment. That thinking an occassional dab of attention is really going to get the job done for everyone involved is the same thinking that got most of them in the crisis their lives are in. And that this kind of thinking is just what did not work the first time, won't work the second time, or however many times they try it. Compounding one disaster on top of another.

And that is why people and their families and friends cringe when a single parent comes into the lives of one of their own and says they I will give a date a dab here and there behind all their other obligations and often demand so much from a relationship.

That's why so many viable potential partners say nah I don't think I want to bet my future on someone with a shakey history.

They are going to look long and hard at how you make your way. Is it on the backs of parents, neigbors, teachers, volunteers, and taxpayers? Or is it passing on the financial hardships rather than by holding the feet of the partners you picked to the fire and making them pay their share? How many single parents "help" non-supporting parents by looking the other way when it comes time to party? How many single parents work in co-operation with other single parents to meet their own needs? How many single parents even get the hardship they heap on their kids?

They don't see what a single parent can offer as being worth what they are giving up. If they hook up with someone with kids and they get attached to the kids they take a major emotional hit which doesn't even take into account the financial and time ones.

And a lot of these people that have taken the heat in the last generation of single parents are coming around and they are mad as hell. Many of them are the kids that got the short end of the stick as Mommy or Daddy took them along for their "happy " ride.

Before you want to shoot the messenger keep in mind I was for a very long time a single parent and DO have sympathy for how hard it is; but, as you get older you get more perspective of all sides of the issue.

no photo
Sat 09/15/12 09:32 AM
im a single mother of to daughters who are very active in school and outside activities as well. I personally find it more appealing sexy and attractive to me when a man is being a good father rasing his child/children on his own. I too am a big believer in quality versus quantity of the time spent together and as long as both single parents understand each others needs and duties to their own children and they are right for each other then it will work and be no issues

no photo
Thu 11/15/12 05:11 AM
Don't you ever get to meet OTHER single parents at the school run? How about holding a party for single parents at your place? A great way to meet others with similar experiences in bringing up children.

no photo
Mon 11/19/12 12:11 PM
hi there im a single mum of 4 and so far no man date me because of the number of children but at the end of the day i dont care if its a single man or single father all the time there missing out to meet a bubbly fun caring woman with lots to give. buss

no photo
Mon 11/19/12 12:11 PM
hi there im a single mum of 4 and so far no man date me because of the number of children but at the end of the day i dont care if its a single man or single father all the time there missing out to meet a bubbly fun caring woman with lots to give. buss

no photo
Mon 11/19/12 12:12 PM
hi there im a single mum of 4 and so far no man date me because of the number of children but at the end of the day i dont care if its a single man or single father all the time there missing out to meet a bubbly fun caring woman with lots to give. buss

teadipper's photo
Mon 11/19/12 05:43 PM
I always say single dads who are good dads and don't run from commitment are sexy. No, my BF does not have kids. LOL.

Iridovirus's photo
Tue 11/20/12 12:11 AM

It complicates things for those who do not have their own children because not only do they have to get to know their date but also their kid and win over the kid. Also with single parents a person may feel that the kid becomes their responsibility, and many non single parents are not ready for that kind of responsibility.
And lastly many people do not want to deal with "baby momma drama", for the kid's sake, the mother will always in some way be part of the picture, people may not feel they can raise someone else's kid, deal with the kids mom/dad, and they may not want to become the step parent as there has always been the whole "kid and stepmom/dad strained relationship"

It takes a mature person to date a single parent, and someone who is ready to accept and take on the responsibility of caring for a kid.
Personally, if I were a single mom I would only seek out single dads, as then they can relate and I would know they can be responsible adults and handle kids much better than a single bachelor.

PacificStar48's photo
Tue 11/20/12 09:06 PM


It complicates things for those who do not have their own children because not only do they have to get to know their date but also their kid and win over the kid. Also with single parents a person may feel that the kid becomes their responsibility, and many non single parents are not ready for that kind of responsibility.
And lastly many people do not want to deal with "baby momma drama", for the kid's sake, the mother will always in some way be part of the picture, people may not feel they can raise someone else's kid, deal with the kids mom/dad, and they may not want to become the step parent as there has always been the whole "kid and stepmom/dad strained relationship"

It takes a mature person to date a single parent, and someone who is ready to accept and take on the responsibility of caring for a kid.
Personally, if I were a single mom I would only seek out single dads, as then they can relate and I would know they can be responsible adults and handle kids much better than a single bachelor.
[/quote)

This post makes me think that a parents forget that what they know about parenting was not acquired over night and they need to give any new entry into the family configuration wheather single or with children experience is still going to have a learning curve just like we did.

I agree with the maturity concept but just having a kid doesn't mean a mate is a good candidate or not for step parenting your kid. When I remarried I married a bachlor but he was great as a Dad because he came on line with lots of experience as a older sibling and just had the right personality to be a great parent so I would not discount someone justbecause they have not decided to be a parent until they decided to co-parent with you.

unsure's photo
Thu 11/22/12 07:33 PM
I think a lot of time single parents make it harder then it really has to be. Yep, I am a single mom, so what. I have to make myself happy, no one else can do that for me. I do admit, I didn't date much when my boys were younger because I didn't want a lot of different guys around them. Now my boys are grown almost, 24 and 18 in 2 weeks, now it is my time to do what I want.
Do I deserve love and happiness...no, I have to make it for myself. If I love someone and they can not accept my children....then I don't want them in my life.
Just because you are a single father, don't give up your life...everyone deserves to live. Just make sure they are well taken care of and that IF you find someone that they are willing to be part of your children's lives also. Some women do not want children, that is their own option...those are the ones you stay away from because you are a single parent.
GOOD LUCK!!!

Gossipmpm's photo
Fri 11/23/12 03:26 PM
of course you deserve to be happy!...but to me it would be a HUGE problem if ya had kids...I really do not want to have someone elses kids in my life..its that simple

I dont want the bother at all...I want my man to be single...pure single...



but thats me

other women do not mind...:heart:

no photo
Sat 11/24/12 02:31 AM
In theory happiness does not exist, we must immerse ourselves in what we do, perhaps the satisfaction can make us happy

Razel30's photo
Sat 11/24/12 10:34 AM
I salute all single dads flowerforyou

Previous 1 3