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This is really kinda beside the OP point (sex on the first date) but honestly, this could be pretty offensive to a lot of single moms who work their tails off to make sure things are in order for their kids and aren't looking for a handout on a date or otherwise. Single mom's are probably MORE in tune with the idea of supporting themselves than many women because they've had to depend on themselves and no one else. In fact, I'd be willing to be that more single moms have a hard time accepting the generosity of a date paying for a meal than expect it. Look into their eyes and see how much faith and trust they are putting in you when they swallow that pride and let you pick up the check... No one else? What about child support? What about alimony? If she's has kids, odds are there's a man in the picture somewhere helping to bankroll her lifestyle. I'm not saying the kids shouldn't have the support of their dads. I'm only pointing out she's not likely doing it all alone. That's an assumption, Tex. Some of us are truly doing it all on our own, no child support, and no alimony. Just us, busting our tails to make sure our child/ren have everything they need, maybe not everything they want, but definitely need. |
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Because I haven't found the right one who fits in our lives yet....I say our cause whether people like it or not, single parents and their kiddos are a package deal....No I don't want an ATM, I work, and I don't want to play "I'm The Boss", just want someone who can love us fully and honestly, without having to compromise on EITHER of our sides, cause compromise means you aren't truly happy with the person and all their faults and strengths.
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I've read in this forum a number of times that women decide whether or not they want to have sex with a man within only a few seconds. If this is true, why would you want to put it off? Are you afraid he'll think poorly of you if you have sex too soon? That he won't respect you? Or is it some kind of power play/head game? A woman does know if there is chemistry enough and if they would say YES -- and within only a few seconds of meeting - this is TRUE. She may want to put it off though, (if she is smart) until she learns a little about the consequences of that decision. In other words, she does not want to REGRET that decision later. He could be a psycho. --and just because there is chemistry does not mean you should let nature take its course. It is all too easy to get caught up with the intoxication of chemistry -- and if she has been drinking, judgement could be impaired. She could find out later that the guy is really a jerk, a loser, a psycho, or married, or some other turn off that would cause her to say.... oops, bad decision. For some women, I'm sure there are always power plays. In fact, for many I think this is true. But if a woman is looking to get laid, and there is chemistry, she might casually have sex with you. (If she does, I don't think she cares diddly about what you will "think" of her.) If she seems to be keeping you guessing, then she is playing games. If she intends to say yes, you will know soon enough. ^^^^ This is one hell of a good, well rounded answer.....If all I want is a little bit of "strange"....and I am physically attracted to him...I'll go for it. But, if I've invested some time gettin to know the person BEFORE the first date, AND I'm physically attracted, I'm gonna wait, probably not very long, if he feels the same way and has shown it, but wait I shall. |
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I hate child proof lids on bleach and other household items.... I have a very frustrating time opening them. Hell, I can't hardly open a package of candy without a pair of scissors everything is so.... hermetically sealed. Today I bought a gallon of bleach with a child proof cap. They quit carrying the one brand that did not have that damn cap. So I made the checker at the check out stand remove the blue child proof top leaving the black easy open top on the bottle. Child proof my butt. If I had any children I could get them to open it for me, they consider it an honor and a challenge. They should call them toddler proof caps because any "child" can open them. Its us old farts who have a hard time with them. No sweety, they should just call them what they really are, ADULT proof caps... 
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coffee
sleep cell phone vehicle money will leave the last spot open in case I find something I just can't live without....since I'm not allowed to say my kiddo. |
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ok this is from way back in the days when I was little....
My mother, 3 brothers and I were downstairs in the living room watching a scary movie...my dad was at work still. When the movie was over, my mom told us to go upstairs and bring our dirty clothes down....all three of the boys ran up the stairs....I KNEW they were going to scare me....but I had to do what my mom said. I checked behind my door, in the bathroom and even in my brothers' room, no brothers...I got my dirty clothes hamper, was at the top of the steps, when out of no where, all three of them jumped out with a RAAAH!!! I screeched, threw my hamper down the stairs, and beat it down there....my mother came into the kitchen and saw me standing there, panting, dirty clothes all down the steps...she says to me, "Now get them all picked up." All three boys were laughing so hard. It wasn't funny then, but I still giggle at that NOW, cause I can picture what it must have looked like then.... 
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Was on a date, the conversation was flowing, the laughter was rolling, and a good time was being had by both of us. I said to him, let's go to the park and take a walk, so we can talk without interruptions.
He wanted to go to my home, which I told him no to. I thought he let that thought go, until we were nearing the end of the dinner. He says, "Since I paid the check, I get to pick where we go next, and I want to go to your house." I handed him a twenty dollar bill, and walked out....he actually tried to follow me, but since he was in a van, and I was in my Jeep, I hit the dirt trails, kicked her into four wheel drive, and laughed as I drove away, while he spun tires in a mud puddle. |
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I'm in, my son is on the Autism spectrum. Along with that, he has bilateral coloboma, low muscle tone around his hands and ankles, and a developmental delay disability. We see a behavioral specialist twice a week, a music therapist once a week, and we go to Easter Seals twice a week for pt and sp. He attends a regular school that has what they call a VB classroom (Verbal/Behavior). In school, he receives sp, ot, and pt. Just had his IEP meeting at the beginning of the month, and we are looking into including music group therapy once a week in school. I love my little man, he's so intelligent for his age, he is very musically inclined, but also loves everything about the ocean, and places around the world. Within the last couple of months, he has started to use complete sentences when communicating with everyone. I think that the medicine he had been on for partial seizures, which he no longer has (PRAISE BE), was somehow blocking his ability to communicate fully....that is no longer the case, since he is no longer on it. Hi Lyndy, your child sounds simply beautiful! My son has a lot of medical issues and developmental delays. He also has a love of music and anything that lights up.  OH yeah, Light up toys are some of his favorite....his newest one is a Moon wall light...it goes through the phases of the moon for about an hour, when it hits the new moon phase, it shuts off...by that time, he is asleep. All of our children are beautiful angels sent to us because God knew we were tough enough, and loving enough to care for them. |
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Topic:
A Real Relationship
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Ahhh....but here is the devil's advocate having a say in this....
You do all the things you THINK shows how much you love your partner, telling them that you want to see them more often, just being there when they need a friend to talk to, touch them somehow, even just placing your hand on their shoulder or back as you walk by...etc etc. Then...because you never TOLD them that you loved them, they sought out and found someone else who TOLD them the words, and married them. So I say, mix it together....tell them, but also show it in your actions. And before you ask, YES this happened to me....we were a perfect match, accepted each other's faults, complete physical and mental compatibility, were "a couple" for about 2 years, then one day he tells me he can't see me anymore cause he found the love of his life and was marrying her     |
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Topic:
Why Lie??
Edited by
Lyndy1970
on
Wed 01/09/13 07:35 AM
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OP, I agree with you...have been on one of those dates. I'm not saying I'm anywhere near being even close to participating in a pageant, but COME ON.....
I tell the truth, I'm a big woman, BUT...and this is a prideful thing for me right now, I've lost 30 pounds in the past couple of months, and plan to continue losing until I get to the weight I want to be. I dye my hair cause it's mostly white now....thank you life....I wear glasses....am a single mother....and stand at 5'7", used to be 5'8" but lost an inch after I had my son then the hysterectomy. If you can't accept yourself the way YOU are, how the hell are you going to accept me as I am? |
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Topic:
When to meet the child
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My children want to meet the guy prior to our first date. They have a 12 page application he needs to fill out as well as a psych evaluation. Then there's the three person panel (I have three children) interview. I no longer allow them to shine a bright light in his eyes, however. This just seemed over the top to me. I love that....
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Topic:
The End is Nigh
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I have had someone in my life that had to be the person to decide everything we were going to do and when.....I realize it was probably some OCD thing, but to me, it seemed too controlling...and I don't need someone telling me what to do....that's what my Mother is for.
He also had some very wrong ideas about how my son should be treated, like sent to a private school where I wouldn't be able to see him but two days a week....ummmmm HELL NOOOOO! |
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Topic:
The PERFECT someone?
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Hmmmm...ok...the dream man:
Between the ages of 38-45, black hair, green eyes, thick in body (whether it's muscles or a bit of chub), height from 5'10" to 6', intelligent, hardworking, owns his own home, has a couple of kiddos who are just as loving and understanding as he is, and can be a great man, husband, friend, lover and DADDY that I and our children need. |
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Topic:
When to meet the child
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It all depends on the child and how it will effect them....I do not allow anyone to meet my son right away, because it takes a ton of preparing for him to meet someone new.
I do tell him that Mommy has a new friend, someone who may be around for a long time...but, he does not decide whether I date or not, just whether the person can be the patient, caring person he needs to be in order to deal with my son. |
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Topic:
Is intelligence a turn on?
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I prefer someone with the intelligence to hold a conversation about the every day things in life, current news, politics (when someone can get me to talk Politics), etc.
If I'm getting a blank stare because they don't understand something basic...yeah, I'm done. |
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Topic:
Run That By Me Again...
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I started a topic on this one in Parenting Talk: "Honey, I wanted to be the one to tell you this. I joined eHarmony, and have been on a couple of dates with a woman they matched me with. I'd like us to stay together until I'm sure this is the one.....Besides, I don't think I can be a dad to a child who may be dependent for the rest of his life." My son has special needs...just to explain the last part. you are freakin' kidding? ummm, you did say no n'est pas? Oh I most certainly said no....with a few choice words before and after it...lol |
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May
I may be the kindest, sometimes, but can also be the meanest when the buttons have been pushed, sh** has been talked, and I've had enough. 
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Awe glad you had such a nice day. Great reason to journal those moments cuz kind of a sky hook for the tougher days. Thanks so much for shareing your bliss. Does he have a Kindle? And a book wish list on Amazon? Some of the free share ware is so awesome. Our exceptional parent group used to have book swaps that were such a pleasure. He doesn't have a kindle, but there is a kindle app for his tablet, and was just talking to my sister to see if she can get it downloaded for him. |
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Mommies of Miracles Specialness! They say that you have special needs We don't think this is true, We think you just have specialness That flows through all of you! You have to do things differently With extra help and care, But in return you give so much With all the love you share! Your heart is made of all the things That make our lives worthwhile, For every time that we feel down It's you who makes us smile! I think we all have special needs But you have special ways, To share the goodness in your heart And brighten all our days! So even though some times are hard We would not change a thing, Our lives are so much better now With all the love you bring! If it is special needs you have Then this one fact is true, God made you just the way you are His specialness shines through! © Copyright 2012 Amy Comstock This made me cry...thank you for sharing this.....I always say...my son has Autism, it does not have him. |
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I'm in, my son is on the Autism spectrum. Along with that, he has bilateral coloboma, low muscle tone around his hands and ankles, and a developmental delay disability. We see a behavioral specialist twice a week, a music therapist once a week, and we go to Easter Seals twice a week for pt and sp. He attends a regular school that has what they call a VB classroom (Verbal/Behavior). In school, he receives sp, ot, and pt. Just had his IEP meeting at the beginning of the month, and we are looking into including music group therapy once a week in school.
I love my little man, he's so intelligent for his age, he is very musically inclined, but also loves everything about the ocean, and places around the world. Within the last couple of months, he has started to use complete sentences when communicating with everyone. I think that the medicine he had been on for partial seizures, which he no longer has (PRAISE BE), was somehow blocking his ability to communicate fully....that is no longer the case, since he is no longer on it. |
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