A class of kindergerteners were attempting to become accustomed to life
in the first grade.
The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted,
NO BABY TALK!

"You need to to use grown up words" she kept reminding them.
she asked Tony what he had done at the weekend.

"I went to visit my nana."
"NO. you went to visit your Grandma. Use GROWN UP WORDS."

She then asked Alex what he had done.
"I took a ride on a choo choo."
"NO. I took a ride on a train. Remember, GROWN UP WORDS"

She then asked Little Johnny what he had done.
"I read a book." he replied.
That's WONDERFUL" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Little Johnny thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest
proudly and said,
"Winnie the sh1t."

A 64 year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers,
"I'm in love with a twenty-two year-old woman."
"What's wrong with that?"
asks the young man.
Between his sobs and sniffles, he answers,
"You don't understand. Every morning before she goes to work, we make love. At lunchtime, she comes home and we make love again, and then she makes my favorite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home and gives me oral sex, the best an old man could want. And then at suppertime, and all night long, we make love."
He breaks down, no longer able to speak.
The young man puts his arm around him.
"I don't understand. It sounds like you have the perfect relationship. Why are you crying?"
The old man answers, again through his tears,
"I forgot where I live."