That's very funny!!!

check out "SMILESS" profile? There's alot of good jokes and information, recipies and hard work that has been put into this profile. Become a friend it's addicting.

The why of it all...
-----


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.



~~~Now send this on to your friends and make them smile too!~~~

These are very funny. Thank you for the laughs

Raining here in sunny Southern California and a bit cool but God knows we need the rain !!

Hey Babe you are more than welcome and good luck in your quest

OK, I copied and pasted your request into an email and sent it to everyone I know. I too will go grab a card and mail it along with my prayers.

CHALLENGE: HOW MANY OF YOU CAN DO THE SAME? GO AHEAD I DARE YOU!!!

Very Good! But it's starting to hit home and that's sad!!!

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'

The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse? '
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.' He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, charges them $50 and says good bye.

The next week, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the
doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'

The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare.'

Have to admit I got it from my Aunt but I thought it was worth sharing.

Glad you guys are enjoying it!

You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One! You don't even have to like 'em!

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the
house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Good-bye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said,as we drove away. 'That stupid bit** was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat butt downstairs
and threw her out into the back yard!' The cab driver hit a parked car.

A woman walks into a H & R Block Tax accountant's office and tells
him that she needs help to file her taxes.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few
questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc.
And then asks, "What is your occupation?"

"I'm a prostitute," she says.

The H & R Block accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "No,
No, No, that won't work. Let's try to rephrase that"

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl."

"No, that still won't work. Try again."

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm a chicken
farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with
being a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."

"Chicken Farmer it is. "

Body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have."

He tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby."

He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "What massive calves you have."
The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby."

He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was!"

That's hilarious. I have a $2.00 mood ring that I wear, (I bought it) and the stupid thing is wrong all the time. Now a big ol' diamond would definitely put smiles on my face.

Looks really good to me. There is another spelling mistake: wether s/b whether. Also check your grammer and add more pics.
But otherwise you are looking good babe. Good Luck

That's Great! You can also add Hawaii'ns along side of those Texans!!

You come up with some of the funniest things. Thanks, I really need to laugh during the day and there you are. Made my day!!

Not into cat fights sorry! I think it's up to him! But that is funny!!!

OK gotta play a little bit!!! MEOWWWWWWWW Scratch scratch claw claw

Baby, Would you be interested in moving to Southern CA? You are one HOT guy.

I looked at your profile earlier this morning when you had posted a topic about meeting someone and I was going to respond but I didn't want to be to urgent about it!! I like to take my time and think about what to say!!

You can IM me anytime

You'll never vote!!!

Personally I think I'll go with Snoopy. We at least already know that he's not for real, has his camp set up and truly loves the kiddies. He says who he really is, A DOG!!!