These are actual writings on hospital charts by doctors.
l. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.????????
2.Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3.On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day, it disappearred.
4.The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. Well daa...
5. The patient has been depressed since she begain seeing me in 1993. Well, daa again.
6. Discharge status: Alive without my permission.
7.Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful????How can this be?
8. The patient refused autopsy. Well, why would he want one?
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides? Well Daaa for the 3rd time.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital?\
11.Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 lb weight gain in the past 3 days.????
12. patient had waffles for breahfast and anorexia for lunch.!!
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry?
16. Occasional, constant, and infrequent headaches.

Not done yet...
17. patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. WOOHOO
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our CAR for physical therapy? Won't come out or what? Something wrong here.
21. Both breasts are equal???and reactive to light and accommodations????!!!@@@#$%
22.Exmaination of genitalia revelas that he is circus sized
23.The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. No way.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. Never heard of that..However, he took a job as a stock broker with Smith Barney, instead.

Only a few more.
25. Skin was pale, but present.....
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor>>>>>!!!%%^&*
27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank...who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree. Not me, but the doctors.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.!!??
29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

The end for today.

And they get paid the BIG bucks??!!

and they say doctors know what they are talking about

Remind me to give my doctors an IQ test next time I visit them.. lol

Lol...I work in the Medical Field and these are soooooooo true.

These are very funny. Thank you for the laughs