mine here is actually my name but my common (meaning the online nick
I've used for darn near 20 years is Falcon. First car was a Ford Falcon,
always loved birds of prey, even my hunting bow is a Falcon Flame. I've
been known as Falcon for so long that I answer to it as easily as I do
Don.

Yeah I thought she was very well spoken and darned if I see a thing
wrong with her size, who gives a dang if she's got 10 lbs on me ?!?
She's plenty sharp and carries herself well, key things in not being
"ugly fat"

Now this lady has the right attitude ! ! YOU GO GIRL ! !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUTJQIBI1oA&mode=related&search=

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but
nothing happened.
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter to God , USA ,
they decided to send it to the President.
The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to
send the little boy a $5.00 bill.
The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little
boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to
write a thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I
noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, DC., and
those assholes deducted $95.00 in taxes.

A 90-year old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better... I Have
a 22-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think of
that?"

The doctor replied, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never
misses a season. One day he was in a hurry and picked up his umbrella
instead of his gun by mistake. When he got to the creek, he saw a
beaver. He raised his umbrella and went "bang, bang, bang", and the
beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year old said, "I'd say somebody else shot the beaver."

The doctor said, "My point exactly".

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find
out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a
cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed
to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we
discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was
too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up
appeared that said:
Scroll down...You'll love this... .





















































'You got Male!'"

A 2006 study by Texas A&M University found that the average American
walks about 900 miles per year.

Another study by the American Beer Institute found that Americans drink
an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.

That means, on average, Americans get approximately 41 miles per gallon
- .....not bad!

I didn't find it humorous either but sadly all too true of some people.

A Lady wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the
treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo
Bay. She received back the following reply:
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20016
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of
the Taliban and Al Queda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo
Bay, Cuba. Our administration takes these matters seriously and your
opinion was heard loud and clear, here in Washington. You'll be
pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like
yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining
Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers"
program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this
new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal
care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for
transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday.
Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be
cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your
letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some
assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that
your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so
strongly recommended in your letter. Although Ahmed is a sociopath and
extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described
as his attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character
flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere
cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling
and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in
hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple
items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him
to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert
at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household
products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in
your opinion) this might offend him. Ahmed will not wish to interact
with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views all
females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly
sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent
tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that
he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come
to enjoy the anonymity offered by the Burka -- over time. Just remember
that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious
beliefs". Wasn't that how you put it? Thanks again for your letter.
We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the
proper way to do our job. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember,
we'll be watching. Good luck!
Cordially, your friend,
GEORGE W. BUSH

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET BOTH OF THEM

Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama and John
Edwards were flying to a convention.

Barack looked at Hillary, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a
$1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."

Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could thro w ten $100
bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."

John added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills
out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his
copilot, "Such big-shots back there. I could throw all of them out of
the window and make 156 million people very happy."

If you are one of those 156 million forward this!

.

Just wanted ya'll to warm up your brains CSG, not drive ya crazy! I know
if someone had posted that without the answer it would have driven me
nuts till I found it.

See If You Can Figure Out What These Words Have In Common...... Here is
a little fun for all of you smart friends and relatives. Enjoy!


Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Assess

Are You Peeking Or Have You Already Given Up?

Give It Another Try....

You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer. Go back and look at
them again; think hard. OK... Here You Go… Hope You Didn't Cheat.
This Is Cool.





















































Answer:

In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at
the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the
same word.

The Bathtub Test
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at ourselves from
time to time, and this should help get us started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked
the Director what the criterion was which defined
whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then
we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the
patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal
person would use the bucket because it's bigger than
the spoon or the teacup."






















"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull
the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Don't know if we have any teachers on the site but a friend sent me this
and I also thought it might be of interest to teachers as well as
parents. She said the offer is only good tomorrow but considering the
incident at Vtech and the crap going on at schools all over the country
and the prevalence of bullying in such incidents I thought I'd share the
link.

http://www.brysontaylorpublishing.com/promo1.html

it's long but a good video. Know your rights and be prepared but then
again it's a better idea not to break the law in the first place!

You'll have to copy and paste it into a browser window to watch it.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=711839179

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________
Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
______________________________________________________
The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and
fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard
only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________
Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up
the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical
swing.
_____________________________________________________
Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you
can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with
some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
___________________________________________________
Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need
it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain
about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
__________________________________________________
Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby
Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3 rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
_____________________________________________________
Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call
home five times.

2nd baby : Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees
blood.
______________________________________________________
At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
_____________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for
the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his
allowance!

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children . . . or everyone who
KNOWS someone who has had children . (The older the mother, the funnier
this is!)

GRANDCHILDREN:
God's reward for allowing your children to live!

Here here Glenn !

I think the story has to be told/printed but they sure don't have to
name names of the perps. That only glorifies them (what they're after)
and makes their families victims also or more of a victim since they've
already been victimized by the perp by being put through the loss also.
The guys I work with thought it was funny that within minutes the press
was on the "Gun Culture" angle but sort of had to back off of that a bit
once it came out that the killer wasn't actually from the US and had
grown up in a country where he wasn't allowed to own a gun.
For the record......This is one citizen who goes armed at times and....
I WILL SHOOT BACK !

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070421/ap_on_re_us/brave_beauty_queen

Fri Apr 20, 8:16 PM ET
WAYNESBURG, Ky. - Miss America 1944 has a talent that likely has
never appeared on a beauty pageant stage: She fired a handgun to shoot
out a vehicle's tires and stop an intruder.

Venus Ramey, 82, confronted a man on her farm in south-central Kentucky
last week after she saw her dog run into a storage building where
thieves had previously made off with old farm equipment.

Ramey said the man told her he would leave. "I said, 'Oh, no you won't,'
and I shot their tires so they couldn't leave," Ramey said.

She had to balance on her walker as she pulled out a snub-nosed
.38-caliber handgun.

"I didn't even think twice. I just went and did it," she said. "If
they'd even dared come close to me, they'd be 6 feet under by now."

Ramey then flagged down a passing motorist, who called 911.

Curtis Parrish of Ohio was charged with misdemeanor trespassing, Deputy
Dan Gilliam said. The man's hometown wasn't immediately available. Three
other people were questioned but were not arrested.

After winning the pageant with her singing, dancing and comedic talents,
Ramey sold war bonds and her picture was adorned on a B-17 that made
missions over Germany in World War II, according to the Miss America Web
site.

Ramey lived in Cincinnati for several years and was instrumental in
helping rejuvenate Over-the-Rhine historic buildings. She returned to
Kentucky in 1990 to live on her farm.

"I'm trying to live a quiet, peaceful life and stay out of trouble, and
all it is, is one thing after another," she said.