Yikes....been there, done that, too.

It's another step towards the finality of your relationship.....a relationship that you surely did not enter into with the idea that you would terminate it one day....so there should be a certain amount of depression that goes with it, because it is a 'loss', nevertheless.

But it is also the beginning of a new chapter in your life. Take the time to get to know who you are. Don't jump into a new relationship right away until you define who you are after all the experiences you have gone through....so that would make it a reason to celibrate....best of luck (or whatever).....*<};o)

Catlady....what a beautiful and wonderful idea....I have been a foster parent for over 15 years and, you are right....the red tape is horrifying! My husband and I were just finished with all the paperwork, etc, to be able to adopt when he was killed.

About 15 months later (or more), I finally had enough healing to go on the adoption sight to check out the available children. Much to my utter astonishment, MANY of the children we had been looking at just before he was killed were STILL AVAILABLE. We were looking for a large sibling group with special needs children. What a shame that these kids lives were on hold due to the red tape involved.

I would definitely use it for good. I like doing Random Acts of Kindness and when I wasn't working 72 and 96 hours a week, I would often make Chicken Dumpling soup, Beet soup, Chicken Pot Pies or pasties and then some dessert of some type....Chocolate Chip Oatmeal cookies, Chocolate Sheet cake or little apple or cherry pies. Ladle up the soup into quart jars with a dish of dessert and deliver them to the spinsters, batchelors and widows and widowers in the area.

Also play some 'Gotcha' tricks on my friends, but it ALWAYS has a good and fun outcome. Like leave a vase of dead flowers on the doorstep on May 1st, but the REAL and beautiful flowers are inside the house when she gets home from work......sort of an April 1st and May 1st combination, haha.

You've got that right! I have friends in Alaska and my parents also lived there for a year. Almost indescribable.

My first three cars were all MG's. Rack and pinion steering and great gas mileage. Went out to Colorado and back, from Wisconsin, for a week, during a gas war (in 1970, I believe). Gas was 17 cents a gallon. It cost less than $100 for eats, motels and all that mileage for 2 people.

BTW, MG stands for Morris Garage.

Given name is Susan. I've been told I was named after a cow in my grandparents barn. Middle name is Jeanne, same as my Mom's. My nickname is 'Sue', as you would expect, but also Suzie Q or Toots. When my sisters really wanted to be insulting, they would call me Suzie Q Pew.

We also called each other 'PIG', until my mother made the startling, alarming discovery that all the new babies first word, instead of 'Mama', was 'Pig'. She put her foot down and forbid that we say that word in the house, anymore. To REALLY insult each other, we would call each other 'Pig, sow, boar'! After the moratorium on 'Pig', we got around it by SPELLING it....so then our little brothers and sisters all learned to spell 'P-I-G', instead.

Wow, I can't believe you have never seen the Aurora Borealis (northern lights). In our neck of the woods (north east Wisconsin), they have been known to be very distinct a couple times a year. Even creating sounds, sorta like a whooshing, static'y, popping noise. And they dance, too, almost like those lights on some stereo's where the different strobes dance up and down in time to the music. If we are lucky, the real treat is to see them in colour.

I think it is way sexy!!

BTW, I read an article about womens attraction to bald men and ONE of the reason's they like a man with a bald head is the subliminal/unconscious comparison to the phallic organ. Works for me

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!!!

You will be shocked that the answer may be so simple, but this has worked with EVERY child I have had that wet the bed (I've been a foster parent to over 400 kids and one kid wet the bed EVERY day and was 14 years old!!). The urine tube (urethra) is a fairly small tube and at some juncture, according to my Chiropractor), it is threaded through a very narrow space, that...IF not lined up properly, puts just enough pressure on the sides of the tube and deadens the sensation or urge that most of us feel to pee. Not so much that during the day there is a problem, but during the night, it may be muted enough that the person wouldn't wake up and go potty.

Find a chiropractor that uses an adjustor and the foot leveling technique. This is VERY IMPORTANT! A back cracker chiropractor can OVER CORRECT and you will still be in the same boat. I have also used this type of chiropractor ONLY.......for kids with earaches (the Eustachion(sp) tubes are pinched and can't drain properly) and Sinus problems....if they have yellow or green snot....signs of sinus infection....again, sinus's not draining properly.

He described it like this......we all have a toilet in our home and it doesn't matter what we put in it as long as we can flush it. The problem starts when we can't flush it and then you have a stinky, nauseous mess. Same for all these 'cavities' that have to drain.....sinus's, middle ear, etc. 'Regular' doctors will just slap the kid on anti-biotics and we know the problems that can cause! Use the anti-biotics if you must, but get to the chiropractor, too, and your child will heal MUCH faster and stay well longer!!

Make sure it is the right kind of Chiropractor. I have taken tiny babies with 'colic'. The Dr. said during the birthing process, sometimes the babies neck gets twisted and wracked out of shape, causing a subluxation. In 'olden' times when doctors used forceps for delivery, EVERY baby got colic from 3 to 6 months of age. What eventually happens is that the baby gets a migraine headache. Every day at the same time. Just ask people that get migraines if there is a pattern. Researchers have been able to do tests to confirm this. Good luck!!

I have no problem accepting that some 'mysteries' in life just can not be solved. I figure it will be a good topic of discussion when I meet God face to face.

Someone else mentioned material.......I have TOTES full of material and craft supplies. At least 20 behind me here in my office, another 10 in a storage room off my kitchen and floor to ceiling shelves of shoe box size totes for every thing imaginable from buttons, all sizes to zippers, lace, rick rack, edge binding and EVERYTHING inbetween.

I also collect artificial Christmas trees and glass ornaments and other decorations. I have 20 feet of floor to ceiling shelves in my garage with HUGE totes with glass ornaments sorted according to colour.....2-7 foot pencil trees, I don't know how many 4 foot trees and smaller. If my kids ever settle down in a permanent place, I have decorations for all of them.

I was 15. Spent the summer at my grandparents and one of the neighbor boys asked to take me out.....double date with another couple to church on Wednesday night and then go eat at 'The Hut'. Sounded 'safe' to my Grandma.

Going out to eat was a REALLY big deal back then. He ordered a hamburger, and being the smart aleck that I am, when he asked for some ketchup on it, I grabbed the red squeeze bottle and turned it upside down and squeezed with all my might. The cap came off and DROWNED his hamburger in ketchup. The waitress was nice and ordered another hamburger. I let him put his own ketchup on this time.

Then we went and parked somewhere. I didn't have much experience kissing (besides my cuzzins, yes this is Wisconsin I'm talking about, lol), but they were the wettest, sloppiest kisses I'd ever had, I couldn't swallow fast enough (ewww). It was revolting.

muzical instruments...I have a full size Grand piano, 2 harps, 3 cello's 7 violins, 2 flutes, a marimba, castanets, 2 harmonica's, a guitar, cornet, clarinet, soprano sax, xylophone, 3 octaves of chimes, 3 keyboards and a triangle
,,,,,plus....Banana boxes of music!

I've got the book, too, sure made a difference in my responses!!

OK....wow, you bit off more than you could chew. Unless you have training in this type of thing, it can get to be extremely frustrating. The hardest part is diciphering what you have control over.

You do NOT have control over her sexual impulses. You also do NOT have control over her mental capabilities or lack of them. Therein lies the clue.....you said she is mentally retarded, has the mind of a child. She doesn't have a mind at all when it comes to sex. She is responding at a purely animal level. Unless you can get social services to lock her up or place her in an all womans institution (highly unlikely), she WILL continue to have sex. You may not be able to convey to her the danger of unprotected sex, but you can have her get a birthcontrol shot, although it may have to be court ordered.

She is mentally retarded. She is not capable of making rational decisions or able to understand long term consequences. Talking to her until you are blue in the face will only accomplish that you are blue in the face! You are very noble and caring to want the best for her, but you have to let go of many of the expectations you would normally have of a 19 year old and just go for 'safe' instead. She probably isn't going to understand 'safe' sex, but I'm wondering if it would be possible to find out who these guys are that she's having sex with and pull some strings in dealing with them? Good luck and let us know what transpires.

Hey love! It's interesting that you bring this up, because I am a fairly spiritual/religious person and attend services regularly. (Imagine that! I go to church AND I like sex!!) My deceased was Catholic, whereas I am Protestant Christian. He often went to church with me, as our kids were raised in my church, but I also played the organ at his church.

It caused more grief in his family than it did between us because we respected each others differences. Something that we must consider as we partner in our older age group....we have half a century of living without the other person that has influenced and shaped the person we have become. Can we love each other and give each other their space to worship (or not) as they please?

That being said, it makes for much nicer relations (of all kinds) if you can support your S.O. by attending church with them. As long as they don't start bugging you to JOIN, haha. Just think of it as the Elks club without the beer. And I like to think of it as another opportunity to bond.

It depends on the situation. If someone was flirting with my S.O. and he was pretty much oblivious to the behaviour, I would be pretty cool. But if S.O. instigated or returned the flirts, I would be jealous. And MAD. I'm not saying just acknowledging the flirts, but actively reciprocating them. Evidence of much bigger problem's, I know.

Come ON!!...I have had the scenario of which Whisper speaks happen at least 8 or 10 times just since the first of the year. Sometimes through IMing, other times through the phone. Even up to within 4 days of him supposedly flying in to meet me. It's like a new flavor of the month club.

What is wrong with just saying..."I haven't felt comfortable with where some of our discussions have been going. It's nothing I can put my hand on, exactly, but it's enough that I think we should part ways. I think you are a really great person and wish you the best of luck."

Instead, we continue to post messages or leave voice mails that go unanswered several times before we realize we must have just been jilted. That does wonders for our self-esteem. And then guys wonder why women are so skeptical.

Seriously, someone needs to pull this lady aside and have a chat with her. If a woman wants a monogamous relationship, she must be 'available'. She needs to consider a sexual relationship with her husband a privilege and an honor that he has chosen her over all the other fair maidens in the land.

As often as not, however, cold vibrations (pun intended) in the bedroom actually have nothing to do with sex, but with other issues and women are really great at using sex to punish and manipulate their S.O. And the male needs to let HER know how wonderful he thinks SHE is. If she seeks his approval, it may mean more interesting things will happen in the bedroom.

Either way, I would suggest finding a good (sex) therapist and spend some quality time in counseling.

I recently read a report that says women are more likely to have a favorable attitude towards the man if he helps with household duties. Get this guy a dishtowel....quick! He's missing out!