A man wakes up with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open
his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins
and a glass of water on the side table. He sees his clothing
in front of him, all cleaned and pressed. He looks around the
room and sees it is in perfect order. So's the rest of the
house. He takes his aspirins and notices a note on the table:

Honey,
Breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping.
I Love you.

He goes to the kitchen. Sure enough, a hot breakfast and the
morning newspaper await him. His son is also at the table,
eating. The man asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and
delirious. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway,
and gave yourself a black eye when you walked into the door."

Confused, the man asks, "So why is everything in order and
so clean, with breakfast on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your pants off you shouted,

"LADY, GET YOUR DAMNED HANDS OFF OF ME! I'M MARRIED!"

A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick, so she proceeded to find herself a rich 75-year-old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night.
The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. The first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed.
When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a condom to cover a twelve-inch erection, and was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of nose plugs. Fearing her plan had gone desperately amiss, she asked, "What are those for?"

The elderly groom replied, "There are two things I can't stand: the sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber."

sweet one, morning ladybird

who'd want to go home, heck most of em would work free
Thanks Ya'll

Morning Song an Thanks Free

It's a very cold winter's night, so three homeless guys huddle up close to stay warm.

When they wake up in the morning, the guy on the left says, "I had a dream somebody was pulling on my d*ck."

The guy on the right says, "I had a dream somebody was pulling on my d*ck."

The guy in the middle says, "I had a dream I went Skiing."


I think I'd just freeze
Cooly

OK Can I just take your word on these
Morning Deb
Cooly

Morning Ladybird an Thanks Cindy
To give that morning smile
Cooly

1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting "Bare Butt" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross."

Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, and Blowjob?
A.) Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.

Q.) What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your d*ck?
( A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

lamo you guys give some interesting ideals
hmmmm nope

keep tryin folks

thanks Pix your so sweet

hey chevy i'll join ya

I was holding on real good, hey at least another thought, I just might get that hat back yet
my favorite hat, just don't want another 1

yuk yuk yuk

Hi Liz

What up Bro OC

glad ya liked Rainyray

ya need to read it, it blew off my head and fell in to the river below, now how do I get it back

it's really simple, your thinking to much
ya'll are such good sports

I know he would have locked me up for sure
Thanks pix