Just a poll. Whoes from southern california? whos from Northern California? im from Northern Cali. next to a big *** volcano.

good luck w/ rondoobie btw!


You know, I have suffered from depression for quite awhile. It used to be that everytime something bad happened, I would fall into this shell. I felt that talking to anyone was a waste of time and that is the truth. I am getting the help that I need for mine and there is no problem telling any one that needs help that it is out here. Sometimes, it is just good to talk to someone who can understand as well as relate. I have never thought of suicide, but I am sure that there were those who thought of it and worst of all, carried through with it. I empathize and truly understand. I would offer you my ear if it were necessary. We all really need to help someone when they need it and not push them to the side like I see so much of.

Man what can you do to please your woman?

I'm sorry Mikey

I think it's time that those of us who are actually here for (hopefully) something more than pointless blatherings about what we would do to the person above us, called a moratorium on the endless string of useless cliches that seem to infest our forum posts like an epidemic of mental corrosion.

Three examples:

1. "It always shows up when you stop looking." Wrong. It does NOT ALWAYS show up. I'm living proof. Now, I'm not saying it NEVER happens that way -- any student of non-zero possibilities knows that it MUST occasionally happen that way, simply due to mathematical laws. Something with a zero possibility (i.e., "my dog will turn into a kayak next Thursday") will never happen, but something with a non-zero possibility (the classical example in physics is that of all the air molecules in a room moving to one side of the room -- it's unlikely, but there is nothing in the laws of physics which disallows it) most likely WILL happen if you wait long enough.

But "It always shows up when you stop looking" is not an inevitable law of nature. It's a cliche, it's wishful thinking, and it may sometimes be accurate. But it is by no means universal.

2. "The common denominator in all your failed relationships is you." There has always been something about this statement that struck me as specious, but it took me awhile to figure it out.

And here it is -- the common denominator in ALL OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE'S EXPERIENCES is you. What does that mean, insofar as cause-and-effect is concerned? Not much! Let's say you've been a passenger in five different cars that were involved in five different accidents in your life. Well, sure, you've been unlucky, but....

There's a sort of implicit blame game going on in "the common denominator in all of your failed relationships is you" -- in other words, since you were involved in all of these, then it's your own fault -- there's something inherently wrong with you, otherwise you could not possibly have engendered so many failures.

Is it your fault that you were in the five accident-bound cars? (Other than that you chose to ride in those cars in the first place, for whatever reason?)

See, the problem with "the common denominator in all of your failed relationships is you" is that it completely ignores the possibility that the other party may have had some responsibility for the failure of the relationship. Rather than deal with "we just weren't compatible" or "they changed after awhile," or whatever, it turns into "Hey, it's your fault that none of them worked out."

But what if those exes, the ones who were "your fault," had just as bad a track record in THEIR other relationships? So now "the common denominator in all of your failed relationships is you" applies to both parties, but you can't really sustain accusatory blame ("you're the common denominator"!) with the obligatory stigma if it's spread around to all involved.

I think we need to see this one for what it is -- it's just shorthand for "I'm too lazy to think up any useful comment or advice, so I'll just say something to make you feel bad about yourself." Yes, that's helpful.

3. "I like to see the glass as half full." It doesn't make any difference. If it's half full, it's also half empty; this is simple math. Whether you choose to put a positive spin on the imagery, it doesn't change the amount of fluid in the container. Also, it's one of those phrases that shows up in profiles almost as often as "I'm laid back and easy going," which is about as informative as the UPC code on the Shredded Wheat box.

There are more. Lots more. They don't help, they don't provide anything in the way of relevant information or communication enhancement. They need to be retired.

Heck, I want both too. Where do we sign up? I know they say that love is happiness. That is what some of us want. Oh,but those lists!!!!


Which one? which one??? You are welcome to try either!! OR both!

That stopped you from believing!??? Santa has elves you know!!!! And I bet your mom was a really pretty one!

Spending it with family.




Really you can't tell me that it can't get very "weird"!!