A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of little boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

"Well," said the farmer,
As he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment.
Then reaching deep into his pocket,
He pulled out a handful of change
And held it up to the farmer.

"I've got thirty-nine cents.
Is that enough to take a look?"



"Sure," said the farmer.
And with that he let out a whistle.
"Here, Dolly!" he called.

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran



Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.
As the dogs made their way to the fence,





The little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.

In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said,
"You see sir, I don't run too well myself,
And he will need someone who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.




Holding it carefully handed it to the little boy.


"How much?" asked the little boy. "No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

The world is full of people who need someone who understands .

The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun



2. Psychotic Mood Shift



3. Perpetual Munching Spree



4. Puffy Mid-Section



5. People Make me Sick



6. Provide Me with Sweets



7. Pardon My Sobbing



8. Pimples May Surface



9. Pass My Sweat pants



10. Pissy Mood Syndrome



11. Plainly; Men Suck



12. Pack My Stuff



and my favorite one

13. Potential Murder Suspect



Pass this on to all of your Hormonal Friends

and

those who might need a good laugh!

...Or men who need a warning.

And remember:

Money talks... but Chocolate SINGS !!!

Why I fired my secretary...

Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hope my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possible have a present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.”

I thought… well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids came into breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary, Jane said, “Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday!” It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o’clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your birthday, let’s go out to lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve hear all day. Let’s go!” We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?”

I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment.” After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes; she came out carrying a huge birthday cake… followed by my wife, kids and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all signing “Happy Birthday.”

And I just sat there… On the couch… Naked.

. You have too many shoes.


that is not possible.... never too many shoes....

. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.


I like this one

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a
Genie's lamp.

She picked it up, rubbed it & a Genie appeared. The amazed woman
asked if she was entitled to three wishes.

The Genie said "No. Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low
wages in third world countries & fierce global competition, I can
only grant you one wish. So what'll it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said "I want peace in the Middle
East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with
each other."

The Genie looked at the map & exclaimed "Gadzooks, lady! These
countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but
not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been
able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and
fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in
bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the
time and is faithful. That's what I wish for."

The Genie let out a long sigh & said,

"Let me see that ****in' map!"

sorry :

This was emailed to me.. don't get offended

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish................................56+ (it's the red convertible that makes him feel so young)
Active................................Gets up to get his own damn beer
Adventurous.......................Asks for extra spicy on his burrito supreme
Enjoys cooking..................Can operate microwave
Enjoys travel......................Never asks for directions
Athletic.............................Loves playing Madden 08 on XBox 360
Generous..........................Incapable of thinking of anyone other than himself
Romantic..........................Has Viagra prescription
Considerate.......................Leaves seat up and is a bad aim.
Emotional.........................Gets pissed when out of beer
Loves pets........................Does not pick up poop especially from some dumbass little dog
Loves children...................Really doesn't like poop so get used to it
Loves family......................Will probably hit on your sister.
Loves to laugh...................Smokes too much pot
Loves strong coffee.............Usually hung over
Looking for soul mate.........Search likely to go on for a long, long time
Slim..................................Sickly.
Boyish-charm....................Momma's boy
Youthful............................Bald as a baby
Man's man........................Hair growing everywhere even where seemingly impossible



DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

I am hungry..........................I am hungry
I am tired..............................I am tired
Nice dress...........................Nice cleavage!
I love you..............................Let's have sex now
I am bored...........................Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?....................I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?...............I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?.......I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?..........I'd like to have sex with you.

thanks 4 the reminder I almost forgot..

let it go... it will eat u up otherwise... good luck

Good morning to all... snow watch 'til 5 pm... we have been fortunate this winter... but the bitter cold temps have not let up.... oh well ...I'd rather have snow than freezing temps...

burning or drowning

mechanic

motorcycle salesman

nice profile.. nice pic also,, good luck...

organdonor.gov for more info

yes...

Well why not post a picture....