yes we do need to know this info,,and if you didnt want to hear it dont
read it,,,,,if im not mistaken Duff which is beer Homer drinks to get a
good Fart going,,lol,,,so we now call that a Duff Fart--one that cant
hold its breath cause it talks ****tttttt....

68 and u owe me one,,lol

lmao,,with a bad back,,lol

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that
morning. I went downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be
pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!" and possibly have a small present
for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy
Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids...
they'll remember." But my kids came bounding downstairs to breakfast and
didn't say a word.

So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat
despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good
morning Boss, and by the way, Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You
know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what
do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me?"

I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.
Let's go!"

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose
instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a
beautiful day. We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"

"I guess not," I responded. "What do you have in mind?"

She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if
you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back."

"Ok," I nervously replied.

So she went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came
out carrying a huge birthday cake...

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers,
all singing "Happy Birthday."

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked.

Is that just crapy on how we have to be at work,,lmao

you are so right about that,,and thats why I keep my dreams bottled up
in my self,,and then by time I look for them there forgot about,,and now
as I dream bigger and better dreams,,im seeing what I had was not the
dreams I wanted but yet the dreams I kept for no reason,,,New dreams are
living points,,and im trying to live a new life all over again,,,,No
Drama,,,,,so for all out there keep on Dreaming like ((TxsGal))
said,,you stop freaming your not living anymore,,Love To All Here

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. As much as we try
to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORKPOOP is inevitable. For those
who hate pooping at work, so at the least there are rules to the game on
how To POOP or for the matter Fart..lol
>CROP DUSTING:
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not
in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it
came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart
has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left
your pants.

>FLY BY:
This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in
and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave
and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People
may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the
bathroom.

>ESCAPEE:
This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or
forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden
wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it.
Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in
the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It
is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both
parties feel uneasy.

>JAILBREAK:
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace.
This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should
happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left
the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

>COURTESY FLUSH:
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the
water.This reduces the amount of airtime the poop has to stink up the
bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

>WALK OF SHAME:
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just
stunk the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if
someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend
that
the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided
with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

>OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:
This is a colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You
will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a
newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the
office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.


>THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N):
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping
goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the
whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

>SAFE HAVENS:
A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building
where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly
of
the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex
entering the bathroom.

>TURD BURGLAR:
This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and
tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and
vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work If this
occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way
you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

>CAMO-COUGH:
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that
you are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up
a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is
very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

>ASTAIRE:
An Astaire is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd
Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt
that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire,leave the
bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

>WATERMELON:
A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting
the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a
Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

>HAVANA OMELET:
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the
toilet water. Often acompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough
with
an Astaire.

>UNCLE TODD:
An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around
forever. This person could spend extended lengths of time in front of
the
mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax
while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the
bathroom
is empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.

hey it dont matter on how fast,,see I got to write for a while,,so I had
nothing more to do,,but it does matter that you keep on smiling,,and you
keep on making everyone else smile,,so no matter how slow or how fast
things are,,we all here have the same time to have love for all that
post jokes.....Love to all here

Well told my friend well told,,,,,,

See Outksat was Right Rose's Do smell like BOOBOO...lol

good stuff

Just a thought,,,Dreams are what we make of them,,when you sleep,,you
dream of that car,,that house ,,that one trip you want to go on,,some
dreams are just wrong to even have in your head,,,so take time out and
think of the last dream you had and think is it your dream or the dream
of all dreams,,to handle the thought is to keep a dream real,,to
understand that dream is to have a clear thought on how your life
is,,,,just a thought,,from me the one that tells jokes to me again just
thinking,,so I hope this gets out to alot of friends here and even the
ones that love to hear a good thought,,like I said its a dream to be
here,,and a thought of good is a dream of mine to make yall laugh,,and
now its to think,,Love To All Here.....Thomas

bubbly bubbly,,,,,,,lol

anyone ELSE dare to read,,lol

lol,,hey and dont forget the wrinkels,,,,,lol,,but in all that was to
funny,,,,,

Smile,,your on we all riding out in the sunset,,oh hold on,,**** I
thought I was in Texas,,,,,lol

Yep It does cause if you ride Harly You ride all holes,,even pot
holes,,lol,,hell woman love them and so do MICHIGAN ROADS...

Thanks yall I love to see all the smiles.....

Music is my life as well just in doing custom caraudio,,thats why I have
my own business doing so,,and making music loud,,,,,

Amen,,hell it sounds like alot of men,,lol,,lmao