One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his
wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm.

His wife turned over and said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist
appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes
later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again.

This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment
tomorrow too?"

and always think there lots of jokes,,always now and to the end,,,,

that cares about everyones feelings and smiles ,,,,

it could be anyone,,lol

lmao

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying:
"God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."

The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was
praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a
heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a
coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and
Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough,
the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the
next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy.
Ta ta, Daddy."

Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went
to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine.
When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said,
"Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found
milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

ok now my back really hurts from laughing,,thanks,.,,,lol

hmmmmm

said bang,,,lol

oh damn,,busted,,

Hmmmm

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed.
"Grandson I wanna you lisin to me. I want for you to take my chrome
plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa I really don’t like guns, how about you leaving me your
Rolex watch instead. "

"You lisina to me, soma day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina
have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and maybe a couple of
bambino."

"Soma day you goina coma home and maybe finda you wife in bed with
another man. What do you do than? Point to your watch and say TIMES UP

sorry for the date being in there dont mind it,,just when it was
wrote,,Love to all here.......

Date of Joke: Sunday, 3rd June, 2001
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who
immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The Farmer had
genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it
could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship.

To no avail, she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding
changes, offering unwanted advice and making life unbearable to the
farmer and his new bride.

While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly
reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her
instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the
casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that
whenever a man would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his
head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to
the farmer, however, he would shake his head, no and mumble a reply.

Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the
farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, "The women would
say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it
was.' The men would ask, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I would shake my
head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old
hockey players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is?
What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but
how we play together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a penalty is called,
you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a
pecker-head."

Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, "And when I call you off the ice so that another boy gets
a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb
a--hole', is it?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your
mother."

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car
has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report.
Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any
evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the
car has been returned.

There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two
tickets to a music concert. The note reads, 'I apologize for taking your
car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition
to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are
two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the
country-and-western music star.'

Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and
return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods
have been taken from thoughout the house, from basement to attic. And,
there is a note on the door reading, 'Well, you still have your car. I
have to put my newly born kid through college somehow, don't I?'

I love it when yall laugh.....

Yo Duff,,there really is no reason to say sorry,,Im not the one to be
pissy,,I just want you to understand im here for everyone, to enjoy,,,we
dont need to have a bad time here in JOKE LAND,,its everyones place to
get a good laugh,,but I will say this,,I DO THANK YOU FOR THE
(((Apologi))),,I dont know who told you to or that your doing this on
your own,,I do think this could be a start of a friendship,,lets make
the best,,,LOVE ALWAYS ((Thomas))

Dude walks into a pharmacy laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms,
still laughing, pays the pharmacist and walks out laughing. The
pharmacist is perplexed but doesn't give it a second thought. The next
day the same guy walks in laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still
laughing, pays the pharmacist and walks out laughing.

The pharmacist remembers the day before and starts to wonder what's up
but not for too long because he has work to do.The next day the same guy
walks in laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays
the pharmacist and walks out laughing. Now the pharmacist is intrigued
as to what is going on with this guy so he arranges with his assistant
to follow the guy and find out where he is going, should the man return.

Wouldn't you know it, The same guy comes back the next day, laughing
hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the pharmacist and
walks out laughing.

The assistant followed him as per his orders and came back 20 minutes
later. The eager pharmacist asked his assistant where the man went? The
assistant said:

"Your house."

aint this some crap