Love and Respect


We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

To misjudge the source of something can be embarrassing-- as in incorrectly guessing the sender of an anonymous love letter. It can also be painful–as in having the wrong tooth filled. Finally, it can even be dangerous–as in repairing a gas leak by soldering the pipe just shy of where the actual crack is.

To assume that our ability to love another person has its source in our own hearts carries with it the potential to be embarrassing, painful, or dangerous. We love because He first loved us. While early in marriage the depth of our love may seem to thrive in the abundant delight and overflow of our own hearts, a day may come when finding a drop of love or respect in our heart for our spouse will feel impossible. Where does that leave us?

It leaves us with the call to look at Jesus –God made flesh and came among us. He is the One from whom love begins; He is the One from whom we are given both access to love and patterns with which to offer love.

Consider Jesus washing his disciples’ feet; consider Him willingly and sinlessly going to the cross for our sins. This is what draws us out of ourselves and into the heart of Love, this place where his mercy meets our unworthiness and still, He loves us.

Standing in that place of watching Jesus, the call becomes both clear and accessible. It is then that we are to be willing to lay down our own rights and pour out that same love to the one with whom God has joined us together in covenant.

When Decision Analysts, Inc., did a national survey on male-female relationships, one question for men read:

"Even the best relationships sometimes have conflicts on day-to-day issues. In the middle of a conflict with my wife, I am more likely to be feeling:
A. That my wife doesn't respect me right now.
B. That my wife doesn't love me right now.

Not surprisingly, 81.5 percent of men chose "A."

The survey only substantiated what I had already discovered in my years of working with married couples: Women need to feel loved, and men need to feel respected. This may explain why Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:33 that a husband must love his wife and a wife must respect her husband. Both commands are unconditional. The hard part is that respect comes more easily to men, and love comes easier to women

Colossians 3:19 commands a husband to agape-love his wife (love unconditionally). Obviously, she needs to feel loved.

Imagine that the wife has an air hose that goes to a love tank. She needs love like she needs air to breathe. When her husband stands on her air hose — buying a birthday card for their anniversary — she'll react negatively!

When the husband sees the spirit of his wife deflate, he should realize he's stepping on her air hose and get off it. Though she may react in a disrespectful way, she is crying out, "I feel unloved by you right now. I can't believe you're doing this to me." If, in response, the husband heads to the "office," she'll feel even more unloved.

Likewise, the husband needs respect, just as he needs air to breathe (1 Peter 3: 1-2). He, too, has an air hose to a tank labeled "respect," and as long as the air (respect) is coming through, he is just fine. But he deflates when his wife steps on his air hose by saying things like, "You don't care! You are so unloving!" If she shows disrespect in an attempt to motivate him to be more loving, it hinders the relationship. A destructive cycle of feeling unloved and disrespected easily starts.

Husbands and wives must learn how to recognize when they are stepping on each other's hoses and respond appropriately. (See Love and Respect for practical tips.) When a wife is careful to show respect — in obedience to God — her husband will stay connected and teachable. When a husband shows his wife love, her spirit will be reaffirmed. Then both will have the air they need to breathe.

Craziness is when we keep doing the same thing — again and again — with the same ill effect. Marital craziness is when we do the same thing — over and over — with the same negative results. I call it the Crazy Cycle. When hurt and frustrated, we continue reacting in negative ways to motivate our spouse to be positive. Can you believe it? That's like flipping broken light switches for 30 minutes.

All who are married go through this cycle. The topics change, and the intensity varies, but the crazy cycle continues. One day the argument may be about a diet book, the next day the argument may be about child-rearing methods. Next month, it's about a marriage book and then about the lack of money.

This happens among good willed people. Sadly, some think they have a horrible marriage because of this craziness. Truth is, they are inches away from making an adjustment that can set them in a whole new and positive course. The key is to see underneath this "craziness," to the heart of a spouse.

The key is to understand that each of us reacts in code, and this code can be cracked!
Based on Ephesians 5:33, I discovered why a husband and wife react the way they do. We read, "each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (NIV).

Because a wife needs love, a husband would be wise to assume his wife's negative reaction is rooted in her feeling unloved. On the other hand, because a husband needs respect, a wife would be prudent to assume her husband's negative reaction is rooted in his feeling disrespected.

Is it time for you to apply God’s truth? It takes work, but it works. It may not be fair, but God’s truth is revealed to people in unfair situations. A respectful or loving demeanor prevents a wife or husband from repeatedly flipping broken light switches.




(this was sent to me by a friend)

Mighty to Save –
(I know Hillsong sings it, not sure who wrote it)

Laura, I believe it is Marty Sampson

40 days - Matt Maher


40 days to wander, 40 days to die to self.
40 days to grow stronger
as faith breaks open the gates of hell.

The Jubilee is over, but grace is far from gone.
In the hearts of the faithful,
broken on the wheels of love.

In the desert of temptation
lies the storm of true conversion,
where springs of living water drown and refresh you.

And as the Jordan pours out change,
your true self is all that remains,
where springs of living water bind and break you.

40 days to remember the Paschal sacrifice.
40 days to discover
as passion calls us to new life.

The Jubilee is over but mercy is far from gone.
In the arms of the Father
as the wayward child comes home.

Your grace is enough
Matt Maher, Chris tomlin



Chorus 1
For Your grace is enough
Yeah Your grace is enough
Yeah Your grace is enough
Yeah Your grace is enough for me

Verse 1
Great is Your faithfulness O God of Jacob
You wrestle with the sinner's restless heart
You lead me by still waters into mercy
Where nothing can keep us apart

Pre-Chorus
So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise O God

Verse 2
Great is Your love and justice God of Jacob
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of heaven's vict'ry
And all Your people sing along

Create in me a Clean Heart
(Keith Green)

Create in me a clean heart oh God
And renew a right spirit within me
Create in me a clean heart oh God
And renew a right spirit within me

Cast me not away
From thy presence oh Lord
Take not thy Holy Spirit from me
Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation
And renew a right spirit within me

Stay Close to God

Every day I try to stay close to God.
But when my day rolls into night
and I look back on my day
I can see I had failed.

When temptations knock at my door
I sometime answer it.
And then I fail.

Dear Lord, Jesus,
When temptations
come knocking at my door,
please give me
the strength not to answer it.

I know
that every temptation
leads to sin.

Lord,
I know that
each temptation would
make my faith in you stronger
if I don’t give in.

Lord,
Please help me
when I am tempted.

Charles J Breuni

Very nice.

I love that one.

Held - Natalie Grant

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
Were asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
[Repeat Chorus]

----------------

True Love

Love can always conquer
Whatever discord brings
And love can also cover
A multitude of things

Don't you under estimate
What love can ever do
For love is God eternal
And His love can renew

What is cold and lifeless
Now lost all hope and died
For love can breathe new meaning
And give it back new life

Please don't give up on love
When it seems that all is lost
For there is always hope
If we're prepared to pay the cost

For love is always worth it
No matter how much the price
For love will be much stronger
When we trust in Jesus Christ

So let God have full reign
Let Him live within your heart
Then you will know true love
For this He will impart

© By M.S.Lowndes

Thank you Jim for supplying the verses in Daniel and for expounding on them.

I like your 1, 2, 3 approach to prayer and agree with your last statement. I find prayer easy to do in the car as I am driving, praying for others that pass by, and in the garden especially as I tend the flowers and have time for reflection and wonder at everything that God has made. It is good!

Good morning everyone.

We have a light covering of snow here, so I will take a nice hot cup of coffee.

Marty,

As you requested feedback on your last post regarding tithing, I can understand your thoughts in connection with the “name it and claim it club’.

You may find this article interesting.

“To the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars, a message of faith is being proclaimed. It is a message--not of faith in Jesus--not of faith in God, but of... faith in Faith.”
by Monte Wolverton.
http://www.ptm.org/JanFaithIn.htm
---------------------
Personally, I do not feel that tithing as is taught today in many churches is sound biblical doctrine. I believe the examples given in the bible that were pre-law tithing were given voluntary, not commanded by God.

It appears that Abraham gave a one-time tithe of the spoils or profits of war.

Hebrews 7

1 For this Melchisedec, king of Salem, priest of the most high God, who met Abraham returning from the slaughter of the kings, and blessed him;
2 To whom also Abraham gave a tenth part of all; first being by interpretation King of righteousness, and after that also King of Salem, which is, King of peace;
3 Without father, without mother, without descent, having neither beginning of days, nor end of life; but made like unto the Son of God; abideth a priest continually.
4 Now consider how great this man was, unto whom even the patriarch Abraham gave the tenth of the spoils.

Genesis 14:17-20

“17 And the king of Sodom went out to meet him after his return from the slaughter of Chedorlaomer, and of the kings that were with him, at the valley of Shaveh, which is the king's dale.
18 And Melchizedek king of Salem brought forth bread and wine: and he was the priest of the most high God.
19 And he blessed him, and said, Blessed be Abram of the most high God, possessor of heaven and earth:
20 And blessed be the most high God, which hath delivered thine enemies into thy hand. And he gave him tithes of all. “

Genesis 28:20-24 KJV- Jacob promised to tithe if God did something first.

20 And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on,
21 So that I come again to my father's house in peace; then shall the LORD be my God:
22 And this stone, which I have set for a pillar, shall be God's house: and of all that thou shalt give me I will surely give the tenth unto thee.

Exodus 35.4-5

4 And Moses spake unto all the congregation of the children of Israel, saying, This is the thing which the LORD commanded, saying,
5 Take ye from among you an offering unto the LORD: whosoever is of a willing heart, let him bring it, an offering of the LORD; gold, and silver, and brass,

Exodus 35:21, 22, 24 and 29 also indicate the voluntary nature of pre-law giving.

Deuteronomy 14:22-23: KJV

22 Thou shalt truly tithe all the increase of thy seed, that the field bringeth forth year by year.
23 And thou shalt eat before the LORD thy God, in the place which he shall choose to place his name there, the tithe of thy corn, of thy wine, and of thine oil, and the firstlings of thy herds and of thy flocks; that thou mayest learn to fear the LORD thy God always.

Pre-law tithing was voluntary and profit based and law tithing was mandated and agrarian.

Deuteronomy 18
Offerings for Priests and Levites

1 The priests, who are Levites—indeed the whole tribe of Levi—are to have no allotment or inheritance with Israel. They shall live on the offerings made to the LORD by fire, for that is their inheritance. 2 They shall have no inheritance among their brothers; the LORD is their inheritance, as he promised them.
3 This is the share due the priests from the people who sacrifice a bull or a sheep: the shoulder, the jowls and the inner parts. 4 You are to give them the firstfruits of your grain, new wine and oil, and the first wool from the shearing of your sheep, 5 for the LORD your God has chosen them and their descendants out of all your tribes to stand and minister in the LORD's name always.

Nehemiah 10:38-39, 12:44, Leviticus 27:30-33, Joshua 13:14

Note in Nehemiah 13:10, the Levites went to the field to replace missing tithes.
Nehemiah 13:10 KJV.

13:10 And I perceived that the portions of the Levites had not been given them: for the Levites and the singers, that did the work, were fled every one to his field.
11 Then contended I with the rulers, and said, Why is the house of God forsaken? And I gathered them together, and set them in their place.
12 Then brought all Judah the tithe of the corn and the new wine and the oil unto the treasuries.
13 And I made treasurers over the treasuries, Shelemiah the priest, and Zadok the scribe, and of the Levites, Pedaiah: and next to them was Hanan the son of Zaccur, the son of Mattaniah: for they were counted faithful, and their office was to distribute unto their brethren.

God gave Israel's tithes to the Levites as an inheritance in lieu of land. [Joshua 13:14, Deuteronomy 10:6-9, 18:1-5, Numbers 18:21, 24] The Levites gave tithes and offerings out of the tithes to the priests [Nehemiah 10:38, Numbers 18], but they apparently didn't have to tithe the income from the sale of inherited property. [Deuteronomy 18:6-8] The Levites and priests were dependent on tithes for food. God's house was a storehouse and distribution point for the sacrifices, Levites, priests and those in need. [Malachi 4:10 "Bring all the tithes into the storehouse that there may be food in My House. [Nehemiah 13:10-13, 1 Samuel 8:15, 17, 2 Chronicles 31:11, Deuteronomy 12:6-7, 17-19, 14:22 - 23]

Christ denounced giving to God while ignoring responsibilities. [Mark 12:41-44, Mark 7:10-13, Matthew 22:21, 17:25-27] Romans 13:7-8 says to owe no man anything but love.

The communal use and distribution of tithes was for the Levites, priests, stranger, sojourner, fatherless and widows. [Deuteronomy. 26: 12 and 14:29]

In Acts 5:4 Peter told Ananias that after his land was sold the money was at his disposal and under his control. Peter did not say that he was only obliged to bring the tithe.

We see another example of Paul’s encouragement of this type of resource distribution

2 Corinthians 8:13-15 KJV.

13 For I mean not that other men be eased, and ye burdened:
14 But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality:
15 As it is written, He that had gathered much had nothing over; and he that had gathered little had no lack.

Acts 15:25-30 NIV

25 So we all agreed to choose some men and send them to you with our dear friends Barnabas and Paul. 26 Men who have risked their lives for the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 27 Therefore we are sending Judas and Silas to confirm by word of mouth what we are writing. 28 It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything beyond the following requirements: 29 You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things. Farewell.

How sweet it is ....

Thanks Rainbow.

In Abrahamic religions, alms are given as charity to benefit the poor.



- That as always been my understanding, and my background.


We used to have almshouses in England many years ago.

I think man may say that, but God does not.
I believe everyone will have an equal opportunity to understand. How that will happen, I cannot tell you but I believe it to be true.

Why I think that it has to be possible is because it clearly says God knows the heart.

For myself personally, nothing man-made can compare to God's mercy.

I do not expect you to believe that if you are not ready to do so, but I do trust that you will be given that opportunity at some point in time.

like that song "My tribute" - MM.

Sharp - I tend to prefer private prayer myself, although I do not mind fellow christians doing that in small groups together, as it does say, when 2 or more are gathered in my name.