To me it depends on the situation. If it's something frivolous like a new car or topless french maid service. I don't really think (I) would go to any extremes to get those things. I just really don't care about material things.

Now, if this is a post-apocalyptic world we are talking about. People out scrambling for food, whatever they can find. I would blow your d@mn head off (not yours personally) for a can of dog if it meant my son could eat.

So yeah, situation and circumstance that's my answer.

I was 32 when my son was born. Just let me say. Sleep fa'get about it. The 1st year is rough and exhausting. He just turned 1 in June. Now he is exhausting not only physically, but emotionally and mentally. You have never worried in your life like you will when you have a kid. My hair was blond now it's dark silver. my beard was red, now the sides are dark silver.

Then again there is no greater feeling in the world than having a son of your own. He is honestly the best thing I have ever did in my life and I wake up everyday wondering what i did, that caused me to be blessed with such a amazing child.

**Side note**
There will be no more. This I know, because this guy wants to get to sleep in again, one day. In the far off future.

"I'm the monster under your bed.
Teeth filed sharp, eyes glowing red" ~ Nightmare before Christmas

"I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
BEFORE I FORGET THAT! " ~ Slipknot

go out, shop around a bit until you find a hooker with a std that can be cured. sleep with her and catch the ooey gooey.

then date the one trying to get back in your life at least for just one night. pass on the ooey gooey. then just completely shut her out of your life. until you get a message or emails stating she has mushrooms growing from a certain area. then respond with a school girl giggle and just keep her out of your life.

I like to turn the volume off of "Passion of the Christ" while listening to Mel's tapes. Syncs up in a Pink Floyd/ Wizard of Oz way..so bizarre


God forgive me. I'm not perfect either and shouldn't jokingly say things that may cause offense to others. Even though you invented farting & the platypus. There are those that think you don't laugh. So I apologize if I offended them..sincerely

I usually ask for a lock of hair, blood type, recent employers phone numbers. How many men they have slept with, then put a 1 in front of it. Then I just toss in a random, like "So are you a fan of sauerkraut?"

If they reply back. I give them all the info from a random G.I. Joe's file card that I had as a kid. I think the last one was Roadblock and yet believe it or not I'm not black. Talk about awkward. She read the file card and said her credit score just dropped and she wasn't interested anymore. Took me forever to convince her I was white. Just had to show her my high score on mind sweeper. Then she knew for sure I was white, very pale white. Geeky & yet I was still denied. Some people you just can't please. I even offered to let her see my original Boba Fett. So bummed....

If you tickle it's nostril with a blade of grass it lets go. Learned that at a young age watching a neighborhood kid get one stuck on his nose.

So if you give them the advantage. Then what would they want?

Check with that one guy. What's his name....? Oh yeah, 'Earl'!.

ding,ding,ding winner winner chicken dinner!

Seriously my man, Xanax, wine, tequila something to slow your brain down. Your so over whelming with your thoughts. Your killing yourself with a empty revolver. you just keep pulling the trigger until the clicking drives you mad and you jump through a window.

Who cares my man? Get drunk, go to Taco Bell next night repeat and continue until before you know it. You know mass women from bars. Plus you don't have to keep this Joe Vs. The Volcano braincloud, that you have going that's going to cause you to sacrifice yourself to a angry volcano..lol

Just relax and have fun. Best advice ever. Don't ask questions and you don't have to worry about answers.

I dunno about killing threads, but my posts seem to generate little to no responses. I think I must just be talkin' that Mr. T jibba jabba.

I always get the genuine Arab ads. I don't want a genuine Arab girl. I dunno if I know anybody who just one day told me " Dude, I so want to get with a Arab." yeah, that doesn't happen. Weirdness

When I was a kid (**cough** yesterday **cough**) I liked to ride my bike over gravels. I like the crunch & pop sound.

Taking a pi$$ off my front porch.

I know, that's why I said it was a little embarrassing

Seriously, if you find one you really like. Always before you sign the papers. Pull into the parking lot around 11pm, midnight or so and just see how the nightlife is criminal wise, noise, domestic arguments, just the annoying stuff.

Oh and if there are bars on the windows and you have a bunch of thug looking guys on the stoop that you have to walk through. WRONG part of town.

Both - except at night I don't bother with the more expensive soaps & lotions. Mornings, what ever scent I'm in the mood for, plus the lotions to match. Followed by one of my many ridiculously expensive colognes. Seriously I have two shelves of the finest. It's actually a little embarrassing admitting it.

Only showers though. I don't really care for baths.

I didn't know I had to explain how a date actually works. So let me add a couple things. Of course you pick up the check, unless she wants to go dutch. then don't fight about it, just do it.
Make eye contact when speaking and talk about something other than work. Don't be boisterous or boring. Just relax be yourself and have fun. Unless yourself is boisterous & boring. If so pretend your not a douche.
It's up to you if you want to kiss her goodnight or not. That's your/her choice. I already stated what I do.

As for me being "Way smooth"..lol Never said I was, just said what I do. I'm not God and it's not the Gospel. Do what works for you. Just be happy and don't sweat the needless over thinking.

Word to the wise though. Don't start the conversation with " So my Ex...." Epic Fail!