"I've dined with Kings & Queens. I've laid in alleys and dined on pork & beans"

The saying above is true. I'm pretty sure they started the starving artist fund just for me, but I could be wrong.

You know what's funny though. Now keep in mind I've been up high livin' like the Jefferson's and I've been homeless. The one thing though that the rich & the poor share is neither can look down. The rich walk with their heads up snubbing those less fortunate than themselves, but the poor to the poorest of the poor walk with their heads up looking at the rich and wanting to be them.

I personally wish people could look at where they are at. Instead of where others are. I don't want to be the rich guy. I don't want to be the poor guy. I want to be whatever I am and what I am is Popeye the Sailor man...Er I mean What I am is me trying to be happy in a world full of people pushing and judging that i need more or I have too much and I need less.

That's why you have to say fu%^ them all. Fu%& them all in the goat as#. Just be happy. that is the one thing that people are really trying to take from you, because most will never find it.

If your gonna live alone. You need some crazy pet. Like a giant iguana. So all the kids can say " look there's creepy iguana guy. My friend Billy told me, that his Dad told him. That iguana guy use to be a butcher and he still has all his tools. When people knocks on his door. he is polite and invites them in, but then he kills them and grinds them into meat chunks for his iguana. You know it's true Billy is a boy scout and they can't lie or they burn in hell, it's in the bible man."

"I dare you to ring his doorbell. What are ya some kind of girl? Stevie's a girl Stevie's a girl!!"

I'm covered in tats and the only place I ever felt any unpleasantness was my fingers. I don't think tats hurt at all. just feels like scratching a sunburn. Then after wards you have a nice high going for the rest of the day.

I truly wish I knew what you was talking about. Now if you had of asked me how to replace a alternator in a '87 Oldsmobile. I may have been of some use.

I ride a skateboard. this is out of my element, but I just wanted you to know I read your post and I hope someone. probably more manly than me can help you with this.

blue tigers. I have no idea why. blue tigers with a conan the barbarian type riding one, fighting a ice dragon. all painted on the side of a van.

van art needs a comeback.

until you become a little fly on the wall and see them behind closed doors. then you find out the old man takes out his hearing aids and slips a flask out of his pocket.
While the woman yells and henpecks to no end threatening his life at every second and telling him that her mother was right he is a bum.
He just nods and looks at the TV which is full blast adding annoyance to the woman. She calls all her friends and tells them all the private things he does or that is wrong with him.
All the while he keeps himself buzzed watching Sanford & Son, daydreaming of fried chicken and mashed potatoes and hoping to die soon, but he's not sad at all about it. Because in the end the man finally wins. We go deaf, we stay drunk then we die. Plus we have awesome re-runs on TV land that seems knew every time we watch them.
Ahh the golden years.

I may sound cynical, but that actually sounds like a good end to the story of love, life and the memories of the asian dragon lady that was just too hot to hold on to.

Long hair. I was dating a girl who had short blond hair. When she would ( trying to put this delicately ) perform oral. She looked like Dennis the Menace. Totally wrong visual for the moment. It got to the point where we couldn't have sex because all I could hear in my head was "Ohhhh Mr. Wilson!". She was offended, but I can't help I want a lady to look like a lady and not a boy.

the moral of this story. Mudslides make Frosty the Snowman murder orphans. Freezy thinks to himself what a good way to end this tale. With random nonsense. The End

Freezy thinks Frosty may have been sippin' on some of grandpa's old cough syrup because his logic is confusing. Yet entertaining, like starting a maze from the end.

that is so true Freezy remembered, but then again what does Rudolf have to do with thanksgiving he wondered to himself.

Wow that's a big thanksgiving feast Freezy thought to himself. I wonder why Frosty is celebrating it in July?

I'm actually in a really good relationship and have a son with her. He just turned one. Best thing I ever made. I'm just here to BS with people and get some laughs.

I'm not married, but I was once and that wasn't a good time.

Frosty looks to be carting three dead deer caucuses...

la la la Freezy walks out of his house and sees...

I just let them off anyway. Drunk off my ***. On a camping trip. Will happen this weekend. I'll be on Tru Tv's world's Dumbest by next month.

I tried throwing it out the window once. Just made it fly ::rimshot::

same thing with butter ::unenthusiastic rimshot::

"Olga" in High School. Came from the wrestling team where I would joke around and say "I strong like Russian woman".

I had fun with it. Sometimes when seeing old friends i still hear it and I'll do my Russian woman shtick.

If only more people would say that.

I think in a new study they found. that just acting like Paris Hilton actually causes herpes.

myself