you call me a geek as if it was a bad thing


give me my 20 sided dice any day of the week compared to reading a joke and being only able to come up with 'get a life geek'

who else has a 'puff your chest out and proudly declare that's my boy' story like this'?
i recently started to allow my 7 year old son start playing w/ my group i’m selective w/ who i allow him to play w/ b/c lets face it it can get x-rated sometimes........anywho as the group was making way we where attacked by a dragon, my son makes his iniative and decides to throw his 2-bladed sword at it.......being a new/younger player we gave him a little lead way on why he shouldn’t do that, well he looked at me and word for word says ’dad i said it i want to do it’ ok not gonna argue w/ him he’s gotta learn someway, little **** rolls his 20 and i’ll be damned critical hit (we use the crit, tables for hit or fumble) rolls her percentiles 100, a 5th level fighter kills the dragon.....
again let me say THAT'S MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry but i'm damn proud of his luck!!!

What not to do at Hogwarts:

1. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not
imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

2. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra
credit project for Herbology."

3. I am not allowed to attempt to breed a liger.

4. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write "I told you I was hardcore."

5. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful."

6. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing my
wand" in the common room is not.

7. I am not allowed to cackle whenever practicing magic. Real wizards
don’t get it.

8. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defense Against
the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever
money-making concept.

9. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if
today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.

10. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms."

11. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

12. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they
start to fight.

13. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

14. Calling Lucius Malfoy "Luscious Mouthful" is just plain gross.

15. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

16. Asking, "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking
away is only funny the first time.

17. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

18. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

19. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What’s new, *****cat?"

20. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

21. A drawn on thunder cloud scar over my left eyebrow does not mean I
am Harry Potter’s evil twin.

22. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0" is not a valid T-shirt slogan.

23. Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I
will not use guns against the Death Eaters.

24. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "my little pony."

25. Dobby, even though he apparently went to grammar school with him,
is NOT Yoda in disguise.

26. I will not pay Peeves to rewrite the school anthem.

27. Recording a remix of "It’s a Hard Knock Life" using the
house-elves as vocal backing is not funny.

28. I will not follow Potions instructions in reverse just to see what happens.

29. I will not teach the first-years to sing "A Wizard’s Staff Has a
Knob on the End."

30. It is not necessary to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes points
from Gryffindor.

31. I am not allowed to sing "Holding Out For A Hero" whenever Harry
Potter enters the room.

32. If Lupin requests something of me, it is considered very rude to
refuse by replying, "Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!"

33. I will refrain from calling the Weasley twins "Merry and Pippin."

34. I will also refrain from calling Harry and Ron "Frodo and Sam."

35. It probably isn’t smart to call Draco "Legolas" either.

36. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together
and take bets on which house will come out alive.

37. Telling Draco Malfoy to "make like a ferret and bounce" is not a good idea.

38. Yelling "Oh my God! It’s the clan!" when death eaters are coming
to get you is NOT a lifesaving line.

39. I will not change the Gryffindor password to "Draco Malfoy is a
sexy beast."

40. Telling Umbridge that cardigans are so 2005 will get you in trouble.

41. "Accidentally" dropping Polyjuice potion with Luna Lovegood’s hair
in Snape’s drink is a very unhealthy hobby.

42. Eating doxies will not make you high.

43. I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month."

44. I am not allowed to point out that turning on a flashlight is
quieter than saying "lumos."

45. Misspelling the word "serious" as "Sirius" on your potions
assignments is not a
way to make friends with your potions teacher.

46. I will not ask Professor McGonagall if she is related to Mrs. Norris.

47. I must not charm little heart-shaped bubbles to pop up anytime
Hermione and Ron look at each other.

48. I will not point out to Trelawney that astrology needs to be
rewritten as Pluto is no longer a planet.

49. I will not borrow Trelawney..s tarot cards for a game of poker.

50. I am not allowed to hiss at Harry instead of talking.

51. I will not switch the labels on the ingredient boxes in Snape..s storeroom.

52. I will not rearrange the letters in my name to something evil sounding.
On this note, I am also not to get a group of followers and call them
something evil.
Along with the above, I am not to get everyone similar tattoos.

53. I will not ask Professor Sprout were she hides the good stuff.

57. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

55. I will not bring a semi automatic weapon to Hogwart’s for protection.

56. I will not confess my undying love for Professor Snape in the
middle of breakfast in the Great Hall. Professor Snape is probably not
a morning person. I will wait until dinner or at least lunch.

57. I will not drink Polyjuice Potion with Draco’s hair in it and ask
Luna Lovegood to marry me.

58. I will not write to Voldemort with requests to be second in command.

59. I will not drink Polyjuice Potion with Harry’s hair in it, put
foundation on the scar, wear brown contact lenses, and tell Harry that
I am his father.

60. I will not set up a blind date for Harry and Voldemort.

61. I will not tell everyone that Draco Malfoy touches little boys.

62. When asked a question by a teacher I will not point out that the
answer is protected by a Fidelius charm and I am not the secret
keeper.

63. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden because it contains werewolves
and massive spiders, not because there is a secret cave with the
answer to every test, and I should refrain from telling the first
years that there is.

64. I must not point to the Dark Mark in the sky and shout, "To the
Batmobile, Robin!"

65. I will not ask Harry if his Voldy senses are tingling.

66. I will not ask Professor Snape questions about Batman..s cape. Nor
will I suggest that he be Robin.

67. I will not ask Professor Flitwick how Santa Claus is doing.

68. I will not sit in Dumbledore’s lap and tell him what I want for
Christmas this year.

69. I will not when looking for Professor McGonagall say, "Hear kitty, kitty."

70. I am not allowed to tell Voldemort that he should consider eye
liner to bring out the color in his eyes.

71. I will not order seven Hogwarts house elves to go to a costume
party with me to perfect my Snow White costume.

72. I will not make the Hogwarts house elves sneak the answers for the
exams from the teachers.

73. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that my teacup says she’s lying.

74. I will not sing "We’re off to see the Wizard" when sent to the
Headmaster’s office.

75. I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his "Happy place."

76. I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

77. I will not refer to the accio charm as "The Force."

78. I will not put muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.

79. I will not set Ravenclaw house on the task of calculating the
exact value of pi.

80. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for
extra credit.

81. However tempting it may be, I will not send Voldemort a Christmas
card telling him how much we all love him, even through these
difficult times.

82. I am not allowed to taunt Professor McGonagall with Catnip.

83. I will not give Voldemort a toupee.

84. Yelling "To infinity, and BEYOND!" is only funny the first time
you ride a broom.

85. I will not bring "Becoming a Dark Lord for Dummies" to read at the
breakfast table.

86. It is not necessary for me to yell "BAM!" every time I apparate.

87. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15
seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

88. "Swish and flick" is only a wand movement.

89. I will not get the sorting hat drunk, no matter how funny his song
was the first time.

90. First years are not "the Little People."

91. Hobbits are not magical beings in the wizarding world.

92. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during
Arithmancy exams.

93. Just because I can subject someone to horrific magical torture
does not mean I should.

94. "42" is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.s.

95. Crashing a Ford Anglia into the Whomping Willow is not the best
entrance to make. Crashing it into Snape’s office is.

96. I will not ask Hagrid exactly how he was conceived.

97. "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an
appropriate career choice.

98. I will not tell Harry that he is fictional and that everything he
has worked for is nothing more than a best selling novel.

99. I am not allowed to sing the Mission: Impossible theme every time
Professor Snape stalks down the hallways.

100. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and
shout "I got the power!"

i miss my ex
but my aim is improving!!!!
had that one till i went to pick up the kids from her house.......that's when the fight started lol

things are looking up for this sagitatius....

lol that was great

glad i don't live there i'm still trying to figure out why i live in indiana i hate cold, i just don't handle it....considering i make a crack fiend look overweight (lol as my 4 year old says it's just how god made me) and don't do drugs other than caffiene and nicotine.....i keep seeing these are you overweight commercials and want to know where are the ones for underweight (no offence ment to those that are or may be overweight but it's just how god made you)

not sure where your from but try indiana weather today it might be 75 and a little soggy but tommorrow it could be 20 below and waist deep in snow.......oh well keeps it fun......and the govenor wants to increase the tourist attractions.....

you mean my employer isn't paying me on the openning day of deer hunting?! i am sooo writing my congressman lol.


true story i went to north carolina to help w/ a church camp, i was getting the boys in my cabin to settle down and go to bed, (yeah right that in itself was a joke) they where all wanting a soda, i was rather thirsty myself so i told the boys if they want a drink they must buy me a pop too, i'm waiting for them to either all tell me no buy your own or one to take a hit for the team and buy me on instead i have probally 7 preteens looking at me like i'm a complete idiot. finally one asked me what a pop was......for those who are unaware in north carolina it's a soda not a pop...i was the running joke for the rest of the week at camp...oh well it was fun

how about some flowers? i'll be right back gotta run to the graveyard, they have the best prices on flowers there......jk

hi anyone near or from rochester on here?

i'm guessing vertically challenged

no touching policy? gee this kid pinched her back side most grown adult would have done the same thing. not to mention sexual harrasment, personally i'd give her a treat when she got home. the school disciplined her for doing what she has been taught is the correct course of action

wow let me know how many ppl actually respond to ya.......star wars fan here so i think the pic. is great but........on jsh? not sure how well that rock will fly.....

roflol god is good all the time!

check me out and tell me what you think please