JIMMY99005 posted this in the Lost & Found thread and I thought it needed to be shared




"Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler"
>
>
> December 8 6:00 PM
>
> It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
> The wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
> The window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
> From heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So
> Romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
>
>
>
> December 9
>
> We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
> Covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic
> Sight! Can there be a more lovely place in
> The whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've
> Ever had!
> Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a
> Boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
> This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered
> Up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got
> To shovel again. What a perfect life!
>
>
>
> December 12
>
> The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
> Disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry-
> We'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on
> Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much
> Snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
> Snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such
> A nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
>
>
>
> December 14
>
> Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The
> Temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
> Sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed
> Up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
> The life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and
> Buried everything again. I didn't
> Realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling,
> But I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish
> I wouldn't huff and puff so.
>
>
>
> December 15
>
> 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
> Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2
> Extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants
> A wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think
> that's silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all.
>
>
>
> December 16
>
> Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in
> The driveway putting down salt. Hurt like ****. The
> Wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very
> Cruel.
>
>
> December 17
>
> Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
> Anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to
> Pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but
> Stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
> Should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to
> Her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe
> I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
>
>
> December 20
>
> Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of
> The that stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all
> Day. The snowplow came by twice.
> Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said
> They're too busy playing hockey. I think they're
> Lying.
> Called the only hardware store around to see about
> Buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
> Another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob
> Says I have to shovel or the city will have it done
> And bill me. I think he's lying.
>
>
> December 22
>
> Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
> Inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold,
> It probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes
> To get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I
> Had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and
> Dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to
> Hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of
> The winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the
> he's is lying.
>
>
> December 23
>
> Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0.
> The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house
> This morning. What is she, nuts?!!
> Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She
> Says she did but I think she's lying.
>
>
> December 24
>
> 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke
> The shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I
> Ever catch the sob who drives that snow
> Plow, I'll drag him through the snow and
> Beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he
> Hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
> Shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
> Miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just
> Been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
> Carols with her and open our presents, but I was too
> busy watching for the snowplow.
>
>
> December 25
>
> Merry stinking Christmas! 20 more inches of
> slop tonight - Snowed in
> The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate
> the snow!
> Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
> and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife
> says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking
> idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one
> more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
>
>
> December 26
>
> Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here? It
> was all HER idea.
> She's really getting on my nerves.
>
>
> December 27
>
> Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze;
> plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he
> only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
>
>
> December 28
>
> Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The WITCH is
> driving me crazy!!!
>
>
> December 29
>
> 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
> it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever
> heard. How dumb does he think I am?
>
>
> December 30
>
> Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now
> he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the
> beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the
> broken snow shovel up his butt. The wife went home to
> her mother.
> Nine more inches predicted.
>
> December 31
>
> I set fire to what's left of the house. No more
> shoveling.
>
>
> January 8
>
> Feel so good. I just love those little white pills
> they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

not sure where your from but try indiana weather today it might be 75 and a little soggy but tommorrow it could be 20 below and waist deep in snow.......oh well keeps it fun......and the govenor wants to increase the tourist attractions.....

Jimmy is the original poster of this story and he is in WASHINGTON. They have been hammered with snow this season over 6 ft of snow so far and it is only the beginning of january

glad i don't live there i'm still trying to figure out why i live in indiana i hate cold, i just don't handle it....considering i make a crack fiend look overweight (lol as my 4 year old says it's just how god made me) and don't do drugs other than caffiene and nicotine.....i keep seeing these are you overweight commercials and want to know where are the ones for underweight (no offence ment to those that are or may be overweight but it's just how god made you)

Thanks Patti for posting that in here

your welcome doll


It's way too funny not to share