Community > Posts By > katydid34

 
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Wed 01/09/08 01:30 PM
Edited by katydid34 on Wed 01/09/08 01:31 PM

if he prefers to spend time on the computer and not spend it her then I say he is immature and does't deserve her


Well, the funny thing is, she spends most of her time either out in the world with her college friends or on the computer talking to one of his best friends. I think they hook up like 1 or 2 times a month for sex. So she's no prize either. I guess what I'm saying is, since the "online affair" will never become a real life affair, what does it hurt? Now if they actually intended to meet in real life and carry on, I'd say it's wrong, but the way it is, that won't happen. He gets his physical needs met by the gf. And he doesn't prefer to not talk to her, she just never has time for him.

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Wed 01/09/08 12:09 PM
lol

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Wed 01/09/08 12:05 PM

In my experience most men want a woman with a nice body that is not over like a size 8. Most men see the outside of a woman and don't look deep enough to see what is inside and then they miss out on those of us that don't have that perfect body but have more heart than he could ever ask for.


Not all men, I have a guy friend who has a gf and she wears at least a 16 if not bigger. Some men like bigger women.

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Wed 01/09/08 11:58 AM
Nope, I haven't. I was supposed to but he bailed on me.

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Wed 01/09/08 11:46 AM


Okay, here's the scenario- this guy has a gf, who never has time for him, so he met this girl online and they spend hours and hours together, talking about nothing. Every so often they engage in cam 2 cam "activity". Some would say this is emotional cheating and therefore wrong, however, they have never met and more than likely never will. Also, allegedly, emotional cheating is worse than the physical act, because of the feelings involved. My questions are these: do you think what these two do is wrong, and is emotional cheating worse than physical cheating?

If you have to ask, then is the relationship worth saving. Eventually the more people talk the closer they come, then the feelings start between them. Then they are tempted to act. So, yes, it is cheating.


I'm pretty sure he has no feelings for her at all, he's always going on about how much he loves his gf.

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Wed 01/09/08 11:45 AM

Don't mean to break out the bible on you but yes, if you lust after someone it's adultery without even doing anything


Who said anything about lust? There's no lust involved. The way I see it, the only thing him and his gf have in common is sex. So he goes for mental stimulation elsewhere. As I stated numerous times, there is no way he would leave her, and even if he did, the girl he talks to couldn't be with him like that. So they're just two online friends who basically use each other for companionship with no future. :)

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Wed 01/09/08 09:23 AM
Sorry this happened to you. I hate mind games, but for some reason, so many people love to play them. It will be hard for a while, but pretty soon, you won't hurt as bad. I wish you luck.

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Wed 01/09/08 09:15 AM

It has happened to me in a relationship where he was unfaithful not by physically being with someone, however his sexual appetite for adult online entertainment hurt me worse than if I had found him in bed with someone else.

It's cheating, and to the man who spoke of the hustler mag....men are very visual creatures by nature and I wouldn't mind a mag every now, also man, get real, it's a magazine picture, what is the likelihood of you even being with that woman, that's more of a fantasy issue unless the other half finds it unacceptable then something needs to be worked out or just out right ended.

For me though, to do it with someone online.... isn't acceptable...this person needs to get up enough guts to break off the relationship and find out what this person wants and needs or discuss the situation with their partner and try to find a compromise so that there is more time being spent together to fulfill the needs of both people in the situation.....just my opinion.


He doesn't want to break off his physical relationship. I think he just sees his online friendship as an addition to what he has with her. He has her for sex, and the online woman for conversation. But he says he loves the gf, so he won't leave her. I don't see how anyone is getting hurt, unless he decides to leave his gf, which he won't.

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Tue 01/08/08 12:23 PM

Is looking at a hustler magazine and relieving your tension cheating also? Lookin at a girl through a camera is kinda like looking at one in a magazine that's been snapshotted through a camera. Not much difference.


Interesting perspective. I agree, since they're both not in real life.

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Tue 01/08/08 10:51 AM

Wow 8 pages! That's a lot of cheating!


LOL, yeah I never thought it would reach 8 pages. IDK, I just don't see anything wrong with it. All they do is talk, he's not going to leave his gf for her.

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Tue 01/08/08 12:00 AM

I know to let her do her own thing...I am doing that. It is just this seemed to really creep up and bite me on the arse. I was the first person she told and I supported her.. Well I guess your siblings can't love ya forever! laugh


She might be kind of embarrassed about it too. So she might need time to regroup and get herself together. All you can do is be a supportive brother and let her handle it her way.

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Mon 01/07/08 11:02 PM
Maybe she's busy?

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Mon 01/07/08 11:01 PM

My 2 cents worth is you can look at the menu as long as you don't order. And that's all I got to say about that.


I agree. And like I said, they will never, ever meet in real life.

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Mon 01/07/08 11:00 PM
If you've been honest with her from day one- that it's just a fling and nothing serious, I wouldn't worry about it. She's the one making the choice to turn it into more than it is. Sad story. I'd leave fast if I were you, before she gets pregnant and begs you to marry her.

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Mon 01/07/08 10:18 PM
Welcome. :)

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Mon 01/07/08 10:16 PM
Eh, I guess it depends on the situation. I did that a couple times, years ago, usually after too much to drink. But it's not something I'd do intentionally. As for the girl being a slut and the guy being a stud, I think they are just victims of poor judgment.

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Mon 01/07/08 10:06 PM

yeh i appreciate all of u guys input, but i mean what if i am really into her friend? would i wanna risk out on something great just because i was too scared to lose a friend? oh and i would like to point out that floridakendra your cute lol. but seriously idk... either way i guess i got a lot of thinkin to do.


But what if it didn't work out? Then you've lost the girl, her friend, and they've lost each other. Too risky...

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Mon 01/07/08 02:26 PM

Someone slipped something into my drink onetime. I have no clue what happened but i woke up with my friend and her husband. I Havent spoken to either since.


That's awful. :(

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Mon 01/07/08 02:23 PM


Okay, here's the scenario- this guy has a gf, who never has time for him, so he met this girl online and they spend hours and hours together, talking about nothing. Every so often they engage in cam 2 cam "activity". Some would say this is emotional cheating and therefore wrong, however, they have never met and more than likely never will. Also, allegedly, emotional cheating is worse than the physical act, because of the feelings involved. My questions are these: do you think what these two do is wrong, and is emotional cheating worse than physical cheating?


Wow!! Is this REALLy a "valid" question???

Has things gone this far in our society that people put up "paper walls" to try to fool themselves?

It's like a woman had been having oral sex with tons of men, but could "technically" proclaim she was a virgin.

Sorry folks..but in my opinion...that's just STUPID! noway


Oral sex is still sex. :P And if you define virginity as no genital to genital contact, then yes, she is a virgin. And there's no need to be rude, a simple yes or no would suffice.

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Mon 01/07/08 02:20 PM

I guess in your heart you think it is or you wouldn't be asking.:smile:


Not really. I just asked because I get conflicting opinions on it. Personally, I don't think it's cheating, 'cause there's no touching involved, and there never will be. But I wanted other opinions.

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