First off lets say you knew someone for about a year total and during that year you was b/f g/f for 8 months. Lets say your head over heals for this girl, you love her a ton and would do anything to make her yours but then you happen to run into another guy flirting with her and she is responding back alot to what look like flirts to you but her and her sister claims its not flirting. What would you do in that situation?

Number two...
What do you do when the one who can make you stop crying is the one that made you cry?

Well to be honest I probably screwed up and guys laugh it up if you want, I got jealous I felt threatened as in I was going to lose her and paniced. During the whole relationship I was truthfull all the time and I wouldn't let something bother me but in the end she dumped me after I confronted her about the flirting and well for three months went through heck, I have a hard time not crying. I can't get her off my mind and I know its over and shes probably having the time of her life with him (1 week after she dumped me she started seeing him, but I told her the day she dumped me to go ahead and go date if thats what she wanted to do (I was upset and heartbroken, I didn't really mean it and I was panicy) so I feel at fault all the way). I wear my heart on my shoulder and take everything to heart, for three months she drug me on while I knew he had kissed her and my heart was breaking to know my dream girl was with another man and in the end... she said some things that totaly broke me.

As for the second question she was the one that made me cry. I really loved this girl alot dispite how bad she hurt me, theres something in me that felt like she didn't want this to happen. To clarify how bad things was and how confused I was I tryed to take my life once because I didn't know how to win, I didn't want to hurt her by backing off (she guilt tripped me every time I tryed to or made me feel like a bad guy) but at the same time I wanted to back away because it was breaking my heart. She told me in the end that my love wasn't good enough for her, that everything I did was just for myself and that I wasn't thinking about her. And I did sit down and asked her "Do you want us to work?" She replied "Yes I do" I didn't ask her to stop talking to the guy, I asked for a second chance as her b/f and I did ask for her to please stop dating him (not to defriend him). She replied "You can't ask me to choose between two friends", anyways I really feel at fault and well I'm stuck here holding my cold heart.

I don't mean this as anything bad and I'm not here to make anyone feel bad for me or anything, I'm more or less looking for a way to heal.

lol I didnt realize this is my frinds login iam a girl ahhhahhah


first hon your better off
yes it hurts and iam sorry

second she was making you feel guilty because she was doing something she shouldnt have been doing. my guess was more then flirting, if she started dating the as soon as you broke up, it was more than harmless flirting.

you may love her but she was using you and waited for the right monent to turn the situation around because she didnt have the guts to tell you it was over.

get your guys friends together have a party, get drunk, cry and move on

Note: never get drunk and drink in the shower bad idea

sorry iam not more but it sounds like she hurt you, when she could have avoided it

It sounds like this girl really worked you over and I'm sorry for that, but because you obviously still feel so strongly about her I really think you need to back away from her because it sounds like she doesn't really know what she wants. If it's just going to hurt you to see her being with the other guy then I think you need to think about what's best for you and just back off no matter what guilt trips she tries to throw your way. She obviously knows that the guilt trips work on you or she wouldn't bother saying anything, and since she won't stay away from the other guy you lose either way by being around her....so think about yourself and back away from her so that you can try to heal and move on. Good luck

give it time

You have to go through alot of heartbreak sometimes before you find the perfect one......good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for here!

Sounds like alot of psychological game playing there on both sides. I would say both of you need to take some time and grow up a bit before taking on the responsibility of a full relationship. Each party needs to be secure in themselves first and foremost and then they need to have trust and fidelity together to even attempt a relationship.

I would take some time and get to know yourself and love and respect yourself and then attempt a relationship after you have all of the self consideration to go on. HTH

Guess you were right to trust you're gut when she was flirting being she is now with him. Thats called life Bro. Sorry but thats how it goes. Some are never satisfied thinking the grass is always greener and have wandering eyes. Keep youreself busy as this will take youre mind off the hurt and move on. You must or else you will roll over and die.(Expression),Bro. Be a man and shed no more tears. Respect...

Sounds like a ****ty deal for you mate, but sometimes that's just how it goes. Learn what you can from it, hold the good memories in your heart, and move on. No matter how bad it feels now, as long as you are willing to let it, it WILL get better.

Try to have some fun with some friends, don't dwell on it.

Good luck mate,

This is so true and so hard to do

I had a similar situation happen to me. I was in the "bawling boat" and couldn't help myself. The thing you have to keep in mind is for one-It is better for this to happen now instead of ten years from now when you could literally be destroyed financially, emotionally and kids could be involved. I know that is hard to hear but it could be worse and if she does it to you now when the relationship is still new and that perverbial cupids arrow is in your heart then it would most definitely happen again. And as for the second-there are many beautiful, smart, wonderful women that you would be proud to take home to mom in this world and you have to stop beating yourself up over it cause there is nothing you can do to change a womans mind once it is made up-She has to come to the decesion if this is what she wants or doesn't want by herself and you have to get a peace about that. And third-this may be the most positive information you will hear but you need to move on with your life for one reason. Once she sees that you can make it without her this will instill a fear of loss. Fear of loss is what motivates us as human beings in a lot of situations. Move on, find someone you can have fun with, if it is meant to be it will works itself out, but most of all-don't beg, don't plead just let her beleive your fine even if your heart is breaking inside. This may be the only true way she will see through the superficial feelings that have caused her to react the way she has. If she comes back-you will know it was meant to be-if she doesn't it would've never worked anyway so you really lost nothing. I hope this helps

I also wanted to say one other thing. If you are in a situation where you feel like you can't go on-as you spoke of attempting to take your life. Most importantly you need a friend to lean on. Someone who will listen and not be judgemental. I know its hard, I have sucked on the business end of a gun many times but it isnt as much of what you do as what you don't do in this situation. It sounds like she is looking for something my friend. To understand what it is, is the true mystery and she may not even know. If you are still having thoughts of hurting yourself you need someone who you can call on-it is very important to help you get through the valley's in this situation. Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad but it is the in between that counts. And I can promise you the hard days get fewer with time and the good days show up more often. Hope the best for you

go to the local strip club ! you will feel better in no time !

Thank you Mrright101 and everyone else. I'm still real flustered though, I had no real way of winning at all. I wanted to trust her, I wanted to be there for her but after she told me I hurt her, I wasn't in the condition to care for her, and a few things like that I started to pull off fast. I don't know what I did that hurt her, I got down in the dumps alot because she would shoot me down about certain things and well she broke my heart alot and as hard as I tryed to not show it I couldn't. I feel like this horrible guy, for three months she told me "You have nothing to worry about, hes just a friend" or "If you worry you'll lose me, if you don't you won't" or "Your better than him" then in the end after three months of heartache and fighting my own jealousy "I ended it a long time ago". I told her off twice after she hurt me deep, after I told her off I felt horrible. The very last five things she said that made me hurt and well feel like a loser was, "I need a deep kind of love" as in mine wasn't good enough, "You hurt me on and off throughout the months (probably when I was in the dumps from her denying me or letting me down (aka moving the relationship up like kissing or a promise ring) or from when we planned things and she didn't show up), "Everything you did was for you and you wasn't thinking of me at all", "I need him because your not well enough to help me with this issue", and the last hurtfull one.... "I ended it a long time ago" (after she got my hopes up for three months. I tryed to leave alot but I didn't have the heart to hurt her by just going away and cutting communication lines but I was also taking into consideration how bad it was tearing me up and hurting me she told me it was my own fault for hurting that she wasn't doing it, she told me to not listen to my feelings. I would tell her "Go have fun with your new friends you don't need me anymore..." then she would tell me "there not those kinds of friends"... yada yada I could keep going on... in the end I lost and I lost alot more than I wanted to I feel like half of me is gone and that someone is squeezing my heart everyday, its rare to find a night where I don't hurt or cry.. I don't think there has been one.. I'm still real flustered though, I had no real way of winning at all. I wanted to trust her, I wanted to be there for her but after she told me I hurt her, I wasn't in the condition to care for her, and a few things like that I started to pull off fast. I don't know what I did that hurt her, I got down in the dumps alot because she would shoot me down about certain things and well she broke my heart alot and as hard as I tryed to not show it I couldn't. I feel like this horrible guy, for three months she told me "You have nothing to worry about, hes just a friend" or "If you worry you'll lose me, if you don't you won't" or "Your better than him" then in the end after three months of heartache and fighting my own jealousy "I ended it a long time ago". I told her off twice after she hurt me deep, after I told her off I felt horrible. The very last five things she said that made me hurt and well feel like a loser was, "I need a deep kind of love" as in mine wasn't good enough, "You hurt me on and off throughout the months (probably when I was in the dumps from her denying me or letting me down (aka moving the relationship up like kissing or a promise ring) or from when we planned things and she didn't show up), "Everything you did was for you and you wasn't thinking of me at all", "I need him because your not well enough to help me with this issue", and the last hurtfull one.... "I ended it a long time ago" (after she got my hopes up for three months. I tryed to leave alot but I didn't have the heart to hurt her by just going away and cutting communication lines but I was also taking into consideration how bad it was tearing me up and hurting me she told me it was my own fault for hurting that she wasn't doing it, she told me to not listen to my feelings. I would tell her "Go have fun with your new friends you don't need me anymore..." then she would tell me "there not those kinds of friends"... yada yada I could keep going on... in the end I lost and I lost alot more than I wanted to I feel like half of me is gone and that someone is squeezing my heart everyday, its rare to find a night where I don't hurt or cry.. I don't think there has been one.

Haha Chevy, you won't find that in Utah and sadly I don't think that would make me feel better but thanks for trying.

Move on with your life, Ten to one. She would miss you more if you werent her little puppet. women like to nourish its how they were breed in life, you werent a person she had to nourish. Thus boredom sets in and she is out looking to nourish someone else

Dont be such a good boy, You have to bave some bad in you.

And for the anyone questioning the hurt subject... Not once did I ever say or do anything bad to her, I would never do that to anyone. I was always calling her "Pretty girl" and the only way I can think I maybe hurt her was I was depressed. But after she started seeing him and she played mind games with me and I was getting confused I admit to telling her off and was pretty hurtfull with words.

I don't think it was that, she was basicly my twin in every aspect.

Some tough Advice from your friendly neighbourhood Reddragons......


DUDE suck it up.........work on Your self esteem for a while...

Sorry this happened to you. I hate mind games, but for some reason, so many people love to play them. It will be hard for a while, but pretty soon, you won't hurt as bad. I wish you luck.