Topic:
Sweet child of mine...
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with permission, a response.. I Could Never Say you are brave, she says in a motherly way. it's not what you want to hear it won't make it go away. she wasn't a man, my sweet baby girl though she could recite what you said and hurl. her secret was not wrapped in the fighting a little boy, hers inside her, biting. she would cry now for you and for her sometimes it's vivid on a good day a blur you are much braver than I could ever be your anger's not silent my secret..is me. Raine Les 10/25/2009 keep it up sharris,and thanks again. X |
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Topic:
To The Moon! (re-write)
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Cheers MzEm you X,ey beast you!
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Topic:
Full-Blown.
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Cheers buddy!
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Topic:
Hound's Of The Devil...
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Your to kind!
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Topic:
Boy who cried don't...
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Yet another killer!
one of the ones that have to be heard from the poets lips to feel the full force of its power,depth and meaning? thumbs-up from england man! |
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Topic:
Deep Distress
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A moto many dont have the will-power or sence at the time to take.....
cheers! |
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Topic:
Rubble
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The I wade through the rubble of broken dreams ^improper English, did you mean tho' it's obvious that you have the talent and the mind set for the craft of poetry, therefore learn to limit the overusage of "I', one can gather it being first person by the initial opening and thus the continuation only makes it a filler and juvenile. Even still, I enjoyed it, it's just a huge pet peeve of mine, and could make you a far better writer without using it so much Listen to the Huckleberry! he,s got good advice? like it! |
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Topic:
Mother Nature
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He-HE!
When the days were the coldest! put on your mittons! |
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Topic:
Hound's Of The Devil...
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Will do!
and thanks,i think its to dark for some.... |
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Topic:
To The Moon! (re-write)
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Nice one!
im a 22yr old boy! |
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Topic:
Inevitable
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Triple distilled!
pure grain! |
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Topic:
To The Moon! (re-write)
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Haha!
now it gets read twice! thats what i like to hear! GREEDY! |
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Topic:
To The Moon! (re-write)
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ok, that's worse...the little arrow thing-ies are very distracting . cheers! something has to be there or it just blocks up? changed it tho,hope its ok! |
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Topic:
To The Moon! (re-write)
Edited by
EkkoLost
on
Mon 11/02/09 02:50 AM
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"To the MOON!"
. "Yes to the moon." . "I barely blinked?" . "Well im fast" I smiled and winked. "Now gather round and listen close, i'll only say it once i don't like to boast." "Now i flew so high i flew so fast i was flying faster than shooting-star's!" . "SHOOTING-STAR'S?" "In out-of-SPACE!" . "Yes shooting-star's." . "But how could you BREATH!" . "I held my breath." . "For all that TIME!" "I barely belive?" . "Well i reached the moon." . "And what did you SEE!" . "I met a man." . "A man on the MOON!" "But what does he EAT?" . "Why custard of course cheese give's him bad-dream's." . "CUSTARD not CHEESE?" "Bad-dreams on the MOON!" "But were does he SLEEP?" . "He lay's in a hammock, he hang's it from hook's." . "He lay's in a HAMMOCK?" "And he has hand's that are HOOK'S!" . "What?,hand's that are hook's?" . "He's there to write BOOK'S!" "With hand's that are hooks AND he lay's in a hammock BAD-DREAM'S on the moon and he EAT'S custard not cheese as it give's him BAD-dream's?" "I barely BELIVE!" . "I sigh and i smile and look at the moon "I can see him from here the man in the moon, i took him a gift i gave him a spoon!" "I told you i did ive been to the MOON!" . "You took him a spoon?" "Take me to the MOON!" . "To the moon?" . "YES!!" "To the moon!" "I WANT TO GO TO THE MOON!!" . "Well keep-hold of your hat as we're gunna fly FAST!" "Faster than star's" "fAster than car's" "faSter than plan's" "fasTer than train's" "fastEr than parrot's" "fasteR than word's"... . "WAIT!" "Faster than a PARROT!" "Is the man on the moon a PIRATE!" "He does have hand's that are hook's and he's there to write book's and he lay's in hammock and you took him a spoon?" "Mabey he's buried some GOLD!" . "Gold on the moon?" "He's useing my spoon to dig on the moon?" "You must be MAD!" |
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Topic:
One for the kids!
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thanks i should have split it so that you knew who was speaking?
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Topic:
Learning
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Ah!
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Topic:
~ not yet
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Gold-star!
wish it was longer? |
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Topic:
One for the kids!
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Thats it!
the noodle eatting poodle ate oddles of noodles! ha,the randomness in my head? |
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A Bizzee body with a badge!
most of the time just power tripping,they put on a uniform and are like... STAND BACK! im better than you,dont you know ive got a badge? Oooooh im sorry,.....not a badge? half the time they can get fuked,the other they can make themselfs useful. you know? |
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Topic:
Please rate me
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Yer id rather be the last not the fist man on the moon!
your a fox! dont worry,someones gunna see you and think "wow,she amazing!,she carnt dig me?,can she?" :) |
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