If a baby could say one thing?
It should say "raise me right?".
.....................................................
From growing up as a skinny-man
on a council estate,
with a hatred state of mind,
so much beauty,
but as i was just a young-boy,
i was blind,
blinded by the big-boys,
kept in order by the bullys
untill its time to step-up
and i,ll take my turn,
dreading going home
with the violent silence
of fighting in the air,,,
i shouldent have a care in the world,
but im walking slow,,,
and im only five-years-old,
four-days out of seven
and i,l be going hungry,
im just doing what im told,
"get to your room,carnt you see that we,re buisy?"
she got red marks
on her neck were he,s choked her,
and as i leave the room
she breaks down in tears
and beats her head
against the foundations of my fears,
shame as a boy
is anough to kill a man
and i wasent getting any younger,
a feral-child,
alone with the hunger,
craving the love and attaintion
but all he gets are harsh words,,,
and im only five and a half,
i step with my arms out
too embrace the world
and get sexual abused,,,
"dont tell nobody,I kill you",
Ah my little-baby-blues,
i felt so strange
i couldent hold eye contact,
sweats and night-terrors,
i couldent relax
getting it from all directions,
i start to rebel,,,
because im a bad-boy,
"mummy can boys get pregnat?"
number-twos in my little-boy-knickers,,,
Alarm-bell should be ringing,
and im only
five and three-quarters-years old.,
.
At my home there still fighting,
im hideing in my room
im in the cupborard and im crying,,,
i finaly fall asleep,
sweet-dreams,
no-one even knows that im gone.,
Ive try,ed telling that my tummy hurts,
they wont lisen,
so i go on outside
and i step,
i step foul,
for i couldent get away,
he,s bites on my ears
and
takes away my breath,
all i ask is "why?"
its anough to kill a man...
My Little Boy Fears
The
Secret Nobody Knows..........

Its from the heart,your welcome. ;(

with permission, a response..

I Could Never Say

you are brave, she says
in a motherly way.
it's not what you want to hear
it won't make it go away.

she wasn't a man,
my sweet baby girl
though she could recite
what you said and hurl.

her secret was not
wrapped in the fighting
a little boy, hers
inside her, biting.

she would cry now
for you and for her
sometimes it's vivid
on a good day a blur

you are much braver
than I could ever be
your anger's not silent
my secret..is me.

Raine Les 10/25/2009