....and now it's raining with thunder and lightning.

Hi! I couldn't hear you! My bones were creakin!

I used to talk to a girl, who had her height change from one week to another, eye color, hair style and even ethnicity.

Not even today I have any info, which one was really her..I think she forgot sometimes who she was talking to so sometimes said something completely nonsense, call me at different names, sending me different photos and her location began to switch around.

It actually became so entertaining and funny, that I was just amused by the massive lies and misinformation, kept it going for the sake of the comedy.

I want to keep it out there, right up front. I don't want there to be any misunderstandings on this -- I don't want someone to tell me, down the road, "Well, I was never really sure what you were trying to find."

See, I'm operating under the assumption that there may be someone out there who really "gets it" -- someone who will see what I've written and then something will just click. I met someone like that once; it was great, but she had other issues. But maybe there might be someone else out there who will grasp what it is I'm trying to do here.



All I can do is work from my experiences. My experience has been that woman lie to me at the beginning of the relationship, then later they try to turn me into a sitcom dad. That's how it's always been, with one exception. You want to talk about my perspective, there it is. That's all I've got to work with.



I'd like to think there's a little more to it -- like learning from those experiences and taking measures to prevent them from happening again.



I don't know. But it is. I guess maybe it's because most people don't have the same standards and preferences I have.



That's an absurd and horrible analogy -- we're not talking physical violence here.

But I will say that I see a LOT of women on dating sites whose profiles are little more than a list of complaints about men in general. That's fine -- everybody needs to vent, and I'm sure they've had plenty of bad experiences, too. And I'm sure they don't want to repeat those bad experiences. Neither do I. Why is this a bad thing? -- for anybody?

Take a couple hours and read through some women's profiles -- you might be surprised at the level of venom you find.



I'm not doubting you. But it's an entirely separate issue and has nothing to do with the fact that I want to make sure that people understand what I'm NOT looking for.



Again, I'm working from my own personal experience here. I can't pretend it never happened. I mean, I think I'd be much happier if I had any reason to believe that there was someone different out there -- I'd like to think there is, but I see no evidence of it. Outside of one relationship, everyone else I've been with HAS been the same. And I've been in a lot of relationships. And then I sign up on dating sites and I read an infinite number of profiles that are all the same. I'm not seeing much to be open-minded about.



I don't doubt that. But now I find myself in a position where I'm just not attracted to anyone at all, and I think it might be for the beat.

Hi shasta
I am a texacadian..does that count?

..there was something I read in a bubble gum wrapper when i was a kid, goes something like this - ' ...as the two boys were leaving, the grandmother ran out the door to hand the grandson's friend some cookies she baked, along with some kind words....the friend said..wow-- I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I must of done something really good....the grandson then replied --- you know, its nothing that you've done, you really didn't do anything...it wasn't because you were nice, it was because she is nice...'

"always looking after those I care about, even if they do not deserve it" --- why - cause its in your nature to do so...

roko


very astute.

Well, I'm certainly not interested in marriage -- once was enough -- but I wouldn't date anyone who was in a bar anyway. Just a personal preference.



I've met 9 people from dating sites, and all of those were horrible experiences. Everyone else I ever got involved with, I met through friends. Those were not good experiences, either, but they were less horrible than the on-line ones. Friends will generally not fix you up with arsonists and phony kidnap victims, etc.



I don't find it scary so much as bland, unappealing, completely unoriginal, and plagiaristic. Most of the profiles are exactly the same; they could be using a template.

I get IMs and e-mails every day from new people who all say exactly the same thing. Even the questions are asked in exactly the same order. They don't pay any attention to the answers either. They will ask the same question 5 times, even if I've answered it the first 4.

It's hard to generate much enthusiasm when the people who contact me show all the intellect and initiative of a cow sleeping in a pasture.



Really? By those criteria, I should be doing really well here -- I've written 4 books, I studied psychology for 7 years, I know a little bit about asking questions, and my grammar is pretty decent.

And none of it matters in this venue.



I'm not even going to try to pretend to understand the female perspective on this. All I've ever seen is that they want a guy who they can mold into a domestic farm animal.



That scenario is absolutely more realistically applicable in a "real-life" context.

But there is -- for me, anyway -- a certain detachment mentality that comes with the on-line environment. Maybe it's because I've had the awful experiences in the past, maybe it's because I don't see anyone even remotely compatible on any dating sites, maybe I've subconsciously come to grips with the "they're more trouble than they're worth" mindset -- I don't know.

I just can't be "attracted" to someone on-line if all I have to work with is a picture -- usually that's no help, anyway, since half the profiles use pictures of 2 or 3 or more women and they never bother to tell you which one the profile belongs to. I need to know something about a person before I can feel any connection -- and if you've read any sort of representative sampling of dating site profiles, you've seen my dilemma. "I don't know what to write here" doesn't cut the proverbial mustard.

my experiences exactly..for some reason anyone close can be considered a "threat" and one stays away from them. Besides, I live in a tiny town and know, maybe, too much about the others and have too many preconcieved opinions of them? Just sayin'

$.02

in trouble...AGAIN.....

yes....yes you are