I totally agree with you s1owhand

I wanna go fishing - it is hard to find a fishing partner nowadays!

To put it bluntly (sorry) - what does he say about his ex's? What
does he call them? I was my ex husband's third wife (I was his fiancee
before the divorce was over) and soon to be wife #4 was his fiancee
before the ink was even dry. Be true to the words that he says - not
what he promises - but literally what he says - it'll hold the truth how
he views women. For someone who has been through that many women... why
settle? I honestly do not feel optimistic.

hmmm... i really don't have an answer for that. I guess people do not
want the other put down? sometimes people just don't want to say how
they feel...

Yes we knew it right from the beginning. We both made the rules and I
stuck with them... best friends will be the best lovers as long as it
is MUTUAL... We were mutual until the rules changed and I haven't heard
from him since. BUT MY PARENTS ARE THE BEST OF FRIENDS - MARRIED FOR 30
YEARS... I ONLY HOPE TO HAVE WHAT THEY HAVE... THEY ARE NOT ONLY LOVERS
BUT THERE IS AN INTIMACY MORE DEEPER THAN THAT.

What about his past is what scares you the most?

"actions speak louder than words"

that is how you know...

APPARENTLY I AM SO OUT OF THE LOOP WHAT IS THIS PLEASE :)

Tue 06/12/07 08:16 PM
yes - if all else fails share a few Heinees with SheNerd and the Pope

Thanks everyone - I am so open minded about everything. i only had two
boyfriends (one was my ex husband) so I am kinda new to this whole
thing. My ex husband never accepted me for who I am so I second guess
myself for a lot. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPROT :-)

I really do agree to you SEXYAZZKAY b/c it does ruin a lot of things.
As I wrote before even if I didn't clarify it completely - it does ruin
a friendship if things are not eye to eye or something becomes sour on
one end. I have not heard from my friend in 6 weeks and that really
does mean something to me even though we had these "rules"... it can
ruin a friendship if it is not on the same wavelength.

haha let's not get started on the male ego!!!! hehehehe

I have no idea - he sent me a message and we got on the same level of
music... he wanted me to play the piano for him. But if I start talking
about my car and I think the timer is off etc... he kinda becomes like
non responsive. I feel like it is a curse that I know this stuff. I
almost want to keep my mouth shut and not bother with it all. If I talk
to him about my car maybe I should be oblivious to the answer when I
know my spedometer is off b/c of the timer and it isn't shifting gears
until is 5 rpms other than 3.5 rpms. He was really cool talking
earlier but how comes it seems guys are intimadated?

it isn't about me boasting at all... it is not like i advertise what my
capabilities are. I don't start a conversation as in I do this and
that. but as the conversation goes on I feel that a guy is intimitated
by what I do know how to do. They start talking sports and I start
talking sports, if they start talking cars I can tell them the ends and
out of my car. I kinda hate it b/c I am that independent. I don't
intiate the converation and advertise that I know all of this stuff. I
don't wear a badge nor do I want to. I want to be accepted for myself.
For who I am... w/o all the beauty or what I do know... but who I am
inside. Trust me if I wanted to wear a badge you will find me in shorts
and a tank holding a bass fish or covered in oil.

Yes they do... It is something about that connection. I know with my
own best guy friend... but the major thing is make sure that it doesn't
turn into "friends with benfits". He and I were the best of friends -
then it turned into something more - he wanted to put distance and I
wanted more - so I decided on friends with benefits... we made the
rules but somehow in the track of things he accused me of trying to make
him jealous when I wasn't... he cared and I cared... but in the end...
we haven't talked to each other in 6 weeks and I have no idea wha
happened. All I can say is the rules must've changed and it didn't on
my part.

So you like it that I qualified for college when I was 13? That I can
change a flat tire and change my own oil. That I can argue basketball?

I just feel like guys are totally turned off that a girl has
independence - who likes a girl that can change her flat tire - or do an
oil change etc....??????? Looking at my pic you wouldn't be able to
tell that I am great at basketball and football... you would think I am
at a tea party!

A guy begs you for a month for your phone number... last night you
finally give it to him. He and I talk for an hour - even discuss the
chance of he and I meeting someday. Then today there is an away message
and he won't talk to me. I haven't been pestering him - sent two
messages - never even called him. He loved my southern accent so I
thought. He and I talked forever and ever. Does it turn a guy off that
a woman stands on her own two feet and doesn't need a guy to support
her? I came out of an abusive relationship... even before the abuse I
was really independent, then somehow my exhusband wore me down -now I am
back in full force. I am not like b*tchy nor demanding. I am honest
about my feelings as long it doesn't offend somone... does a guy not
like a girl for independence? I really need some help right now. There
are so many guys that I am so interested in and so many that is
interested in me so I thought until they realize I fish, I play sports,
I can talk basketball, and i know all that kind of lingo. Do guys not
like that kind of stuff? I know when they look at my pic they think she
is all goody goody, feminine, etc... but when I open my mouth and start
talking about stuff they shut up!

Probably not... from my experience he was probably the same way with his
previous wife. Those are red flags - get out while you can... It might
start off with the signs that you have mentioned but it can get worse.
Next thing you know he will be following you to work. If you arrive
home late or early he'll think you have been doing something. He could
put tracking devices on the computer, tape recorders in the house. Even
search your purse or demand for/check your cell phone. It can become an
obsession.

compromise is the key to everything...

just do it... it is best to get it over with... it might be for the
good or for the bad but hey you know your answer. Ladys really don't
like head games like that... I know if I went on a date and the guy
didn't call the next day I would be wondering what in the world was a
matter with me like i said before.