Warning: may be crude

A little girl asked her mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a Walk around the block?" Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

What's that mean?" asked the child. Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage." The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said "OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block."

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with No dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?" The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I think you'd be proud of me! So far today I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, lusted, lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. Praise Your Name! I'm grateful for Your grace...

But Lord, a few minutes from now, I'm getting out of bed... From then on I'm going to need a lot MORE of Your help!

I feel the sameway as UK does. If people would stop trashing other people and just enjoy life, then the world will be a lot better place.
That is what we need more of in the world.

I live alone so I don't have the problem,but I would love to have a lady roomate.

Isn't is nice that she is getting the " proper care for herself". Hopefully they will find out what is wrong with her, so she can lead a better life, then she has.

It is so sad, that whenever a tastless joke or story is posted, someone has to complain about it to the moderator of this thread and that is sad.

"laughter is the best medicine" So if someone doesn't like the tasteless joke/story/why make a fuss out of it?

After a long hard day in our " rotten world", I love to come home and come to this thread and laugh and feel good about the jokes/funny stories.

When someone tells a joke or a funny story ( it could be copy or pasted or made up) they are just releasing steam.

Isn't it better to release the steam by posting a joke and laughing at it, then getting angry at the world and loosing it?

Gross is when you let a fart under the covers and the smell creeps up on you!

I don't watch sports at all. Don't care for the Super Bowl. Just another Sunday.

" You don't have to be alone anymore"!

A bartender who had just opened a new bar in town, couldn't think up a good name, so he said to himself" the next person that comes in here, I will name that bar after the person.

A little while later a tall lady comes in and the bartender ask her her name" . She tells the bartender" my name is Jill and I a very tall". The bartender told her" I just opened up this bar and I since you are the next person, to walk in, I will name the bar " Jill's Tall Legs".

The next day a bum is standing by the front door, waiting for the bar to open, when a cop comes by and asks the bum" what are you waiting for, buddy? The bum replies" I am waiting for Jill's Legs to open, so I can get a drink".

Good One.

Jellybean, another good one. So many silly people.

Will the real dummy stand up? I watch those police viedos and people do the dummest things. I like your screen name and I assume you like Jellybeans? The one about the tear gas cannisters is so sad.

Good one, as it is getting near tax season.

A couple who had just got married, were on their honeymoon and the groom, kept going fishing ( fishing is one of the grooms hobbies he just loves ) with his best men.

His best man ask's him:" shouldn't you be with you new wife in bed, having fun, instead of fishing with me, buddy?

The groom replies: " well, she has a case of the worms and you know how much I like to fish, using worms as bait.

Uk, I have some short term memory loss, I didn't get the theater joke. Help me out.

Keep the tastless jokes coming.

Everyone , including the media needs to stay out of her life and only let her family help her.

Keep those jokes and funny stories coming.