Community > Posts By > chronicliar75

 
chronicliar75's photo
Tue 12/01/15 09:31 PM
I am really into Coldplay & Silverchair Music these days,
but I wanted to share what others might think as a song
of love (love song) for them, but has always been a
"song about life" in my perspective, everytime I listen to it.



"Ever Since The World Began"

I'll never know what brought me here,
As if somebody led my hand,
It seems I hardly had to steer,
My course was planned.
And destiny it guides us all,
And by it's hand we rise and fall,
But only for a moment,
Time enough to catch our breath again.

And we're just another piece of the puzzle,
Just another part of the plan,
How one live touches the other,
Is so hard to understand.
Still we walk this road together,
We travel through as far as we can,
And we have waited for this moment in time,
Ever since the world began.

Taking in the times gone by,
We wonder how it all began,
We'll never know and still we
Try to understand.
And even though the seasons change,
The reasons shall remain the same,
It's love that keeps us holding on
Till we can see the sun again.

chronicliar75's photo
Tue 12/01/15 08:47 PM

I have made good and bad choices in life, I have also learned from these.(most of the time)
I am divorced, yet that does not make my decision to get married.. Wrong, it means we
Did not blend as well as we had once thought....

I believe I am a good mother, I have 4 adult children, and 3 grandbabies..

I use to ask myself, why, how come,,,and how the hell do I change this...

I have learned, that the only person who can make me happy, is me.. From
There I am able to move forward, and live life to the fullest..

Knowing that is all I do, I have done my best.

I have disappointed my mother a many of times growing up, she has been gone from this
Life for 30 years now...I hope she is looking upon me, and smiling at the woman I have become..

I grow daily, faltere and start again...

Life is amazing, when we stop analyzing everything we do, or don't do.

Namaste



:smile: :heart:
(sigh) I love your reply post very much Ma'am:smile:

I prefer to savor it, dwell on it and smile about it,
instead of commenting on it.

Thank u very much:smile: :heart: :heart:

chronicliar75's photo
Tue 12/01/15 08:41 PM

Alabe.com provides pretty good readings.


I checked it Sir.
Astrology software, it says.
I am not interested in reading it,
I dont have the time too.

Thank u for the suggestion though.

chronicliar75's photo
Tue 12/01/15 08:37 PM

well, if nothing else, it shows you what you don't want within your life..
Just because a parent is not the best, doesn't mean you will be the same..
Know yourself and what you want and can live with and carry on from there..Where you come from doesn't indicate where you are going..


Thank u Ma'am:smile:

Yes, I am particular with
what I do not want in my life.

I will not really mind if I will be
not the best mother or best wife,
just as long as I will not
fail my future child or future husband,
I think Im already good with it.
I always like just being average:smile:

Your last 2 lines are so full of wisdom Ma'am,
I like it very much.

Thank u.

chronicliar75's photo
Tue 12/01/15 08:12 PM

Throw the self help books out!

People are in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Sometimes it is to learn 'how not to be'.
Sometimes it is to learn 'to walk away'

Just ask yourself what you deserve & what you will & will not tolerate. And just live without over analyzing.

flowers


I am a bit sentimental
with regards to my books,
I canot throw them out:smile:

"People are in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime"
- I agree word for word on this^^^

"Sometimes it is to learn 'how not to be'"

- I learn not to be comfortable with alcohol.
Only 1 bottle of beer after river trekking
or if I have lasagna or pizza for dinner,
if I run out of red wine.

- I learn not to be mindful if I took a different path
than others. I admit it is not the fastest way,
nor the easiest way,nor the most effective way,
but it is the path I choose that I am sure,
I will not lose myself in the process & give in to
other people's demand of how I should live my life.

I want to do it my own way SassyEuro2.

I wanted to get an honest opinion of others,
who are already ahead of me in experience,
regarding marriage & parenting.
Did their past make a more direct impact to them
or their childhood experience.

I pride myself, that I am one of those people
that can filter out honest opinions from
mischief & ridicule.
or from some preposterous off mark suggestions
to ridiculous insignificant/inconsequential garbages
that I cant understand & could not apply or relate
in my life.

I really can filter out SassyEuro2, not dead on
but after thinking it over and staying away from
politics.
Too misleading & confusing to follow in there.

Being in mingle forum actually gives me
enough input than reading books for so many years.
Interacting with them, makes me learn things
I only wonder on books.

"Sometimes it is to learn 'to walk away' "

-I am good at walking away without
looking back SassyEuro2.
10 years or 15 years is too short a
time to communicate again, if I choose
to walk away from people I love.

"Just ask yourself what you deserve & what you will & will not tolerate. And just live without over analyzing. "

- I love this very much ^^^
I really can learn from this.
I am still working hard to achieve this^^^

Thank u.




chronicliar75's photo
Tue 12/01/15 07:41 PM

Unfortunately there are no deciding factors. I have 4 brothers and 1 sister. We all grew up in the same environment. My mother was physically abusive and my dad certainly had no parenting skills, yet each of us have grown up differently. I am a proud father of 3. I will brag a little and sy I'm a very good father and I've never laid violence upon my children. My marriage failure was to do my ex, not me. My brothers have grown into personalities of their own. One is very short tempered and drinks too much. He's also a complete *** hole to his wife. One is lazy as hell, he treats his wife and kids affectionately but he refuses to work or parent.

The situations we're in affect us only if we let them. As for marriage and parenting goes one is unpredictable the other is a personal comfort zone.

You may be with someone for years before you realize it's just not working out. It may be you, it may be them, it may even be mutual failure.

The parenting part is just something you have to feel. If you think you can handle it or not AND if you trust your partner to as well.

All the books in the world are no match for the randomness of being human. I think the Rubik's cube does a better job of explaining it. You are who you are regardless of the situation at any point in time.


Thank u for the input.
I appreciate that u approach my OP
as a man instead of a male psychologist:)

Goes to say that what u are implying is,
it would still depend on me & the person
I will choose to become my partner.
But I have always wondered the probability:)

Anyway, books are good. It gives u an explanation
why others behaves as such.
Sometimes, a woman just wonders
if she will be fit to be a good wife or a nurturing mother.
Or will I be better off as being single.

I like rubiks cube too.
But there are just things that are
too important, to just base on logic
& intelligence.
There are just important things,
that mind, heart & soul should in
be in one first before a person will
make life changing decision:smile:


chronicliar75's photo
Tue 12/01/15 07:22 PM

Are you a bad person ? Do you know the difference between right and wrong ?Have you been exposed to happy loving wifes and mothers in your wider family I believe if you answer no and yes then you have the tools to be successful at both .You seem very mindful of your past experiences and obviously display the intelligence to not let your past negative experiences affect your future go forth and be happy happy


Am I a bad person?
Im average. I have bad attributes.
But I also have good ones.
In my opinion I am a bad daughter though.
It took me many years to contact my parents again.

Every adult knows what is right & wrong,
but mostly it is the application that I am
concern about.

Whether we admit it or not,
our past is what made us who
we are now.But it is also not
something to be ashamed of.

U peg me right on that,
I am mindful of what makes me
who I am now,
but it still remains to be seen
if I would indeed let my past
affect me being a woman that I am now.
Or how it will affect me, if I will
become a wife or a mother someday:)


chronicliar75's photo
Tue 12/01/15 07:10 PM

Everybody has been excellent or highly good in certain subjects or courses by "nature" , by passion or by inteligence and talent.

Sciences? Maths? Literature? Arts? languages? Sports? other?

Which one?


Looking back,
I never excelled
in anything:)

I love Math, but
Math does not love me.
(ever since I can remember
my lowest grade was always Math:smile: )

Always the average,
no bad grades but
never been on the top
of the class.

Im a big fan of sports in
school but always as a spectator.
I do not like competing.

To maintain my scholarship,
I am required most of the weekends
on Out Reach Programs,
so I get to travel most of
the time to some indigenous tribes
& teach children Alphabets &
Basic Addition & Subtraction.

It was in my college years that I learn
to love tennis, loves to jog, & get
fascinated so much with river trekking
& mountain climbing.

I do not know how to draw & paint
but I have always love Art,
Anything about Art fascinated me.
Im a huge fan, that is what makes me
interested & in love with History,
Ruins & Museums.

I did not finish College:)

chronicliar75's photo
Tue 12/01/15 04:08 AM
I am really curious about this.

I have an almost next to nil experience
on relationships and I am kind of
curious Minglers, what will have a more
direct impact or effect,
if ever I will get married & be a parent.
My childhood experience or my
traumatic experience after I left home?

I have read a lot of books but somehow
they did not make any sense or impact to me
on this.

Say my childhood is average experience.
Pampered because I have 2 protective
brothers and doting parents.
Their only cardinal rule is no
riding of bicycles.
Protect the legs hahahahaha.

Another thing though, my father might be 1
of the best father in my corner
of the world but he will not be in the
best husband top 1000.

My father has issues with whiskey.
He fights with my mother in front
of the 3 of us, if he is drunk,
but is sweet & apologetic when
he is sober which is 80% of the time.

Will that have an effect on me when I
get married? As an adult I can now
accept the smell of whiskey without
misgivings?
What will be the probability that it will
affect my being a mother or a wife,if
I will decide to marry & have a kid?

Then about being the youngest and only daughter,
pinching is the strongest disciplinary
action I get.

The downside is, if u get all the
attention, u crave for freedom.
U crave to be taken seriously.

No matter how serious my question is
about life, or about our family
or about the government, my brothers
have the tendency to just find it
so hilarious.

98% of the time,they just laugh
so hard but never answer my
questions, of course my parents
think I just read too much.

In my arrogance & my need of freedom
I walk away from home.
Without the protection of my parents,
brothers & bestfriends, I did not
know life is really quiet hard.

Then that traumatic experience happened.

After that, I never wanted to go home.
I did not even contact them for so many
years.
I feel that I will just be a burden to
them.

But I was already adult at that time?
Will it have more impact on me
when I get married?
will my traumatic experience makes
me probably a bad wife or bad mother?
if I will choose to get married?

I want to know the probability
if with the combination of an
undisciplined-pampered childhood
and a traumatic experience in your
20's will actually make u a bad wife or
a bad mother?

What do u think is the probability
Minglers?

Does anyone here in Mingle has the same
experience and still get married?
Did it affect your marriage?

Is there a possibility that it will be
a doomed marriage, from the start,even if u
will choose your partner carefully?




chronicliar75's photo
Tue 12/01/15 02:39 AM

Can anyone live a bachelor life?

I dont know with other people
but for me - Yes, of course u can.


I m 30 years still singleton gf, no girlfriend yet,no marriage. Till now . Lived happily. But now slowly I dont know but I m loosing my happiness.is it due lack of sex.Is sex is a need or a just a game for enjoyment. Plz tell Ur opinion frankly.


I do not think it has something to
do with your being bachelor
or the lack of sex hahahaha.

Why?
Because of your question -
"Is sex a need or just a game for enjoyment?"

You are suspecting that u are starting to be
unhappy just because of sex or lack of sex?slaphead

Think.

chronicliar75's photo
Tue 12/01/15 02:09 AM

What I learnt from my last relationship, basically all the things I didn't really learn from previous ones. I suppose that's why this relationship had such an impact on me. I didn't pick up on the lessons earlier in life, I don't think I was ready for them, so in the end it was rammed down my throat. (Abusive relationship)

It helped me find my inner strength ...
It made me realize how much personal freedom I need ... A shock, I seriously never knew!!
It helped my artistic side blossom ...
It got me closer to what I really want to do with my life ...
It also taught me the 'art' of forgiving ...

All things I didn't know I had, needed or wanted.
It got me so much closer to who I really am!
And for that I am truly grateful.


:smile: :heart:
I like this very much Ms. Crystal^^^

My ex was and is still the best that ever happened in my life,
but my ex was and is still is my biggest failure:)

It taught me that no matter how hard you try
& give your best, if in the end, it will hurt the
one u love most, then I have to walk away.





chronicliar75's photo
Tue 12/01/15 01:56 AM

Love me for who I am not for wat u want me to be


Makes me think of one the Carpenters' song:smile:

If the person u like or love believes
that being who u are right now is not enough.
Chances are, no matter what u will do,
u will never be enough for that person:)

Be proud of who u are.
Be proud of what u are.
Dont be what that person, want u to be,
just because u want that person to love u.

Do not lose yourself for the sake of love.
If its the real thing, it normally
brings out the best in u, it will complement u.
It will complete u.

I know it sounds idealistic.
But if u will take time to think about it,
it is the most basic.




chronicliar75's photo
Tue 12/01/15 12:50 AM




Sunscreen - Baz Luhrman

Ladies and Gentleman,
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future,
sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering experience...
I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth;
oh never mind; you will not understand the power
and beauty of your youth until they have faded.

But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos
of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now
how much possibility lay before you and
how fabulous you really looked...
You're not as fat as you Imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry,
but know that worrying is as effective
as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life
are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind.
The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts,
don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy;
Sometimes you're ahead,
Sometimes You're behind.
The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;
If you Succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know
what you want to do with your Life.
The most interesting people I know
didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives,
some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't,
maybe you'll have children,
maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40,
maybe you'll dance the funky chicken
on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't Congratulate yourself too much
or berate yourself either.

Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body, Use it every way you can...
Don't be afraid of it, or what other people Think of it,
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own...

Dance... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings;
They are the best link to your past
and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,
but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography
and lifestyle because the older you get,
the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise,
politicians will Philander, you too will get old,
and when you do you'll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable,
politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund,
Maybe you have a wealthy spouse;
but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair,
or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy,
but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia,
dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal,
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen..

chronicliar75's photo
Mon 11/30/15 11:48 PM

But the shift in our society of 'do it yourself, you don't need a man, don't let anyone ever change you, and you deserve the best of the best, and the instant-gratification that many expect' has in my mind made marriage not only extremely difficult, but also not all that useful...

in a society that focuses solely on 'look out for yourself" the idea of "becoming one, and perhaps doing something for someone else...even if you don't get anything(tangible) in return' is contradictory to everything this generation has been taught....it's no wonder marriage rates are on the decline, and divorce rates on the rise....


Compatibility Isaac is
important to others.

Not the best of the best
but someone who u would
be sure u can live with for
the rest of your life.

Others take time in choosing
because they do not want
trial & errors.

Others take time in choosing
actually because marriage is
sacred for them and they want
what their parents have.
They wanted their own family
raised the way they
were raised.

Because there are still people
who do not want to make babies
outside marriage.

Because there are still people
who wish that if ever they have
children they should be raised in
a traditional way,
than what it is now in the
modern world.

To each of his/ her own I guess on this.





chronicliar75's photo
Mon 11/30/15 11:35 PM
Edited by chronicliar75 on Mon 11/30/15 11:50 PM

I don't think marriage is the worst thing that can happen to someone...but I also don't believe it is as necessary...or even as relevant as it used to be.

Most homes now have two people working, independent of each other, with their own sense of self-worth and independence.

They are proud in themselves, of what they've accomplished, and they want companionship...not that they need it..just want..you can get that without marriage(although still not as socially acceptable)

I think marriage was necessary in single-income households it gave the wife equal(and legal) rights to her husband's(assuming he was the bread winner) finances which was necessary to raise a family.

It's' not just the situation that's changed but the attitudes as well...women used to wear their man's name with pride.....(some still may...but fewer than before)

watch any older TV show and you'll see a woman beaming with pride saying something like "I'm misses DR. Robert Jones!"...they were proud to be a wife, proud of their man.


Ariel u may want to ponder on this more^^^
if I may dare say, give it more a thought-
it may change an angle in your perspective.



Sounds like you should do some serious healing from childhood trauma/wounds or you'll miss out on a lot of good in your life. You let other people's choices influence your own chances to happiness.
As it is, you're likely going to project your own fears on the guy that loves you, make him responsible for your parents' choices and mistakes,


If I may suggest,
u might want to read this advice from Ms. Crystal
twice or thrice Ariel & internalize it.

Because your OP did indeed sound like- because
of your parents choices & mistakes,
u have that kind of perspective.

Remember, those are your parents choices
Ariel.They have their own lives to live,
u have yours.
Would u really prefer they stayed together
miserable with each other,
than having separate lives & be happy
with someone else?
I may not go as far as calling it a trauma
when parents get divorce but it may be
the main factor why you have
such opinion of marriage at such a young age.


at the same time you expect him to heal you? How fair is that? You push him away, yet expect him to convince you that he's for real and what you have is real?
I call that a path of self-sabotaging and hurting other people in the process.

No one but you can heal you and the hurt in you. You cannot make someone else responsible for your happiness. Not if you want a lasting, happy relationship, cos you'd suck the life out of them.
Another thing is, that with your convictions, you are likely to attract someone who will confirm those beliefs ..


In fairness to the 19 year old girl Ms. Crystal
I think she is just terrified of loving someone
because her parent's marriage did not work out.
She even go as far as saying that she wants to
actually meet someone who can make her happy.

Which even me as an adult can relate.
She is just 19 years old, she is not pushing
someone away.She just have a bad concept of
marriage.

I beg to disagree Ma'am, with all due respect:

"that it is a path of self-sabotaging
& hurting another people in the process."

She is not even allowing someone to
be in her life yet, though she wanted to.

I feel her, I actually can understand where she is
coming from.
I am an adult, but I am skeptical & scared of
marriage even if my own parents never get
separated.

Ariel just thought that marriage is the
worst thing that can happen to someone.
Her reasons are valid.

To say that she is hurting & needed healing
is I guess a bit too much.
Why would she suck out the life of someone
just because she is cautious & wary
about marriage?
I have witness few couples that are happy,
productive & going stronger without the benefit
of marriage in their relationship.


Another thing is, that with your convictions, you are likely to attract someone who will confirm those beliefs ..


With all due respect for this^^^
I will still beg to disagree.
I say let Ariel take her time.
She is young, her convictions
are not but impressionable.

There is nothing wrong with being
cautious, skeptical & preserving
oneself.
Especially about as sacred as
marriage.

Life anyway has always a way
of teaching us, what is worth it
and what is not.



chronicliar75's photo
Mon 11/30/15 01:27 AM




Dust In The Wind

I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone
All my dreams pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind
All they are is dust in the wind

Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind


Now, don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away
And all your money won't another minute buy
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind
Everything is dust in the wind
Everything is dust in the wind
The wind

chronicliar75's photo
Mon 11/30/15 01:23 AM
5:24 PM
Monday
November 30, 2015
Pasig, Philippines

chronicliar75's photo
Mon 11/30/15 12:17 AM

Am I the only person who thinks marriage is the worst thing that can happen to you?


From observing people & learning
from them, there a lot of people
like u who finds marriage the worst
thing that can happen to them.
Mostly I know though are males.

If I may dare say,
u are still 19 years old Ariel,
marriage might not be for everybody,
but there is also the possibility,
that it could also be the best
thing that can happen to u.

My parents married at a young age
and until now, even though
all of us, their 3 children
have already left home & have
our own respective lives,
they are still together.
They have pets, they have
each other.They wither the odds.

If I may dare say,
take your time.
Learn from life,learn from
other people.
It might change your perspective
of things.


I am terrified of losing my name, my independence, and my control of myself. If you think of it, the day you say I do it goes from I to us, I like to we like ,And with the generation I'm apart of we would rather drop a marriage than fight to make it work. I am aware that I come from a divorced home so I already have trouble believing in a love that lasts, but I don't write all of this to rant.


U are 19 years old.
Not a time to be terrified.
Time to take on the world.
If there is a time to make
mistakes, it is when u are young
hahahahaha.

Just know when to draw the line.
Learn to preserve yourself.
What will always define u
are the decisions u have
made for yourself.
Know what is important to u.
Know what is worth fighting for
or not?

Dont take my word for this,
find out for yourself,
but there is love that lasts
till death.
I've seen & witness it from other
couples.
I have never been married & I too am
skeptical & scared of marriage
but it is sacred Ariel.
It will take all of u to
choose the right for u to make it work.
Others find their suitable partner for them
the first time around, others after a few tries.

It will always depend on u
and to the man u want to spend
the rest of your life with.


I write it because I got to thinking and how great would it be to meet someone who made me get over my fear of love because the fear of being without them is worse. Someone who makes me happy to loose my independence or rather be most my self when I'm with them.


What is to fear of love?
Maybe u mean the consequences
of loving someone?
Educate yourself more.
Read more.
Learn from others mistakes.

Never mind how old u are
before u will be ready to
say, "u are prepared to
tackle love," because
even if u are not ready
Ariel, sometimes life has
a way of throwing u a curve ball.
And the only thing u can do is
do your best & handle it the best
way that u can without
destroying yourself &
the one u are in love with.

At the end of the day,
it is what makes u at peace,
happy & positive about life
that counts.
With or without a partner,
your choice.

chronicliar75's photo
Sun 11/29/15 11:02 PM
This is another open letter
from a person whose country
enjoys Mutual Defense Treaty
(USA-Philippines) since August, 1951.

With the Enhanced Defense Cooperation
Agreement (EDCA)last April, 2014 in mind,
I from my country would humbly
like to give my appreciation &
full support of the US Military.

We not only like the fact that u are
nearby, but it is your military
superiority that gives a level of
assurance & security, in
International Military Affairs.

Your state of the art technology
& medicine never failed us
during emergencies & natural disasters.

We more than respect, appreciate
& admire your Military superiority,
most of all we value the
sacrifices u have made
in the name of Freedom & Democracy.

:heart:

chronicliar75's photo
Sun 11/29/15 03:40 AM

7:41 PM
Sunday
November 29, 2015
Pasig, Philippines

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