100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Community > Posts By > EquusDancer
|
Topic:
The silent Treatment
|
|
A week is not cooling off, thats basically the silent treatment and stewing. A couple of hours to maybe a day, two tops, and that would be stretching it. Everybody is different. True, but unless you're telling someone upfront that you take a week to cool off after a fight, then it's basically mental abuse. I guarantee I certainly wouldn't put up with it. I fully support you in 'not putting up with it'. And I support people who want the freedom of spontaneously choosing 'non-communication' for as long as they want. I agree that in many particular situations, the silent treatment plays out as a mild form of emotional abuse, in that one person is knowingly causing another person emotional pain, exploiting that pain, and sometimes is using it to manipulate the other. However, imo, the behavior of suddenly choosing silence is most definitely not intrinsically 'mental abuse'. There are many behaviors which are harmless or healthy in one relationship and abusive in another relationship, depending on the people involved. After a fight, I would view it as such. Silence, in general, no problem. I can go days being quiet with not much to say. But since the problem with fights is usually a lack of good communication, intentionally continuing not to communicate just comes across as malicious. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Christmas Card Exchange
|
|
I'm getting cards from everyone and loving it. There's been a slight hitch at mine, and yes, stamps are one problem but I really should get all the rest out shortly!! LOL!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Christmas Card Exchange
|
|
Kendra, I loved the Yule card! Thank you.  Welcome! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
The silent Treatment
|
|
A week is not cooling off, thats basically the silent treatment and stewing. A couple of hours to maybe a day, two tops, and that would be stretching it. Everybody is different. True, but unless you're telling someone upfront that you take a week to cool off after a fight, then it's basically mental abuse. I guarantee I certainly wouldn't put up with it. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Charity Question
|
|
I will try to do something nice for a friend or family member anonymously if possible. This way I know that it goes to someone I know can really use the help and also someone I care deeply about. I also will give to one or another established charity also but I do check them out and make sure that I agree with how they are spending the money. Once I found out that a certain food establishment was throwing out a large amount of not very perishable items every day. A friend of mine and I approached them to see if we could instead distribute their discarded food to one or another food charity. It was a very frustrating experience. The food charities did not want something which would have a shorter shelf life and the food supplier did not want the responsibility of putting out a day old product officially in the remote chance that someone would claim it made them ill. So it turned out basically that there was no way to get them to donate these perfectly good food items to people who really needed them. For a while we rescued them from the dumpster and handed them out as a kind of - our responsibility ends when we put them in the trash kind of thing...but it was an inefficient process. Yes, I have come to understand the same thing with our local food bank. It is amazing how hard it is to get food that's going in the trash to the people who need it. Food cannot be donated from restaurants. But, most of the grocery stores around here give their excess food supply. And, we have some orchards that donate fruit that will go to waste. We donate our excess eggs to the local Helping Hands. They've never said anything about food issues. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
The silent Treatment
|
|
It is very common.. and I have learned that most people with the silent treatment going..have serious sad issues and just don't know how to deal with it better. I have done this..however, I view it as my cooling off period. I speak when ready to or else I will regret what comes out of my mouth.  Cooling off is different than what the OP is talking about, I think. The only time I feel it's appropriate is if you've tried talking out the issues and the other person just doesn't get it, won't work on it, or just doesn't care. At that point, sometimes all you can do is just stop talking to them. You are correct. I actually said in my original post that I don't mean a cool down period. I am curious as to what you think a cooling down period is. A day, 2 days, 3 days? I know with me; depending how mad I get; I may need up to a week to cool down or simple as a couple of hours. If someone actually ignored me for a week to "cool down" that would be a bit much. Have to agree with singme. A week is not cooling off, thats basically the silent treatment and stewing. A couple of hours to maybe a day, two tops, and that would be stretching it. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
The silent Treatment
|
|
Big problem. Don't like it used on me, and if it's a common thing will walk away. Like others said, a cooling off period is one thing, and probably good. I know guys especially who use it as a way to not throw a punch in anger.
I know when I need to cool off, I write my anger out. Then I put the letter away and come back to it. If it's still valid I will talk about it, if not I burn the paper, and things are back to normal. But I've never gone more then an hour purposely not talking to someone as a silent treatment thing. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This rolled across my Facebook page today. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45602445/ns/technology_and_science-science/#.TuItbNVVVQV "Empathic rats help each other out." Good article, and I do believe that all animals, humans included are willing to help each other out more then hurt each other. Don't know what world you live in but not all humans are like that. There are some humans that refuse to say a simple word like sorry. It is such a simple word.........sorry Certainly there are humans willing to help out. But there isn't enough, or else we'd all be helping each other instead of killing, raping, murdering, starving, each other. Of course, personally, I do feel the sheer amount of people on this planet has taken away the "sacredness" of human life and leaves the majority apathetic to helping others. The statistics say violent crime has gone down, but as was mentioned earlier, that's because our prison population has gone up. Also, our weapons of destruction have gotten better, and that keeps everyone in fear. So, violence may be suppressed under fear, rather then free to act out. Good or bad. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Skyrim....
|
 Love it! Forwarded it to my brother, and he's in total agreement! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This rolled across my Facebook page today. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45602445/ns/technology_and_science-science/#.TuItbNVVVQV
"Empathic rats help each other out." Good article, and I do believe that all animals, humans included are willing to help each other out more then hurt each other. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Skyrim....
|
|
I don't play, but am still impressed with it. My brother keeps showing me the cool extras when he gets to them. Have you seen the "unnecessarily censored" video that's out? Hilarious!  ''There's no one I wont %!@$'' Bwahahahah!!! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
WHAT ARE YOU READING NOW
|
|
The Iron Palace by Morgan Howell.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Skyrim....
|
|
I don't play, but am still impressed with it. My brother keeps showing me the cool extras when he gets to them.
Have you seen the "unnecessarily censored" video that's out? Hilarious! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Considering we read about this about a year ago and it was such big news all over, one would think people would have gotten the point that some places have service fees because they're not covered by one's taxes.
So pay the frigging yearly bill and "quit yer bitchin!". Frankly, I'm surprised that some of this isn't actually required by the banks or whoever own one's mortgage, and the insurance companies covering one's house. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Stalkers
|
|
This. The screwy ex. I have no qualms about using a shotgun, and have told anyone who thought about it that I would use it. They go away, far away. Usually I tell any possible problems while I'm holding a pitchfork. They take me seriously. That's pretty much how I'd handle it. hahahahaha You two feisty girls :-) I'd be right behind you. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Astrological compatibility
|
|
Only in a curiousity way. I'm a Capricorn, and Horse, and they're total opposites so I can come across totally opposite of myself, just myself. LOL! Cappy is pretty solid with everyone, in general.
Theymre fun, and Western and Eastern astrology together are a lot easier to figure. But my folks are totally and seriously incompatible in both types. They've been married 38 years. Its fun, but I don't take it serious. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Christmas Card Exchange
|
|
Thanks! It's even cozier with the fire in the fireplace.  Yay for fireplaces! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Chase bank refund?
|
|
I love my bank. It's a small town bank, and the only one of its kind. No other branches. They work with you, don't charge outrages fees. If you know you may have something bounce, and call and talk to one of the managers, they'll let it go and not charge the overdraft. You can do small loans, $200 on up, unlike BOA who said $10,000 minimum. Heck, we took a loan out to buy a horse and used the horse as the collateral. The manager laughed and said it was strange enough that he knew we'd pay it off no worries. And they actually know who you are. I was even impressed with the one bookkeeper recognizing my voice over the phone!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Christmas Card Exchange
|
 Cute and cheery! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yeah, there's been some interesting scammers lately. Mingle2 moderators recommend letting them know so they can take care of it, and help with the suspicious one.
I've been getting hit with a rash of military men who give off the scammer vibe. |
|
|
|
|
Previous
