She's a loner by nature and a runaway at heart.
She's disastrous by force, right from the start.
She gave it her best while ditching temptation.
And those years of trying never gave any elation.

Now that she's had some years to rest, it's time to keep running.

Run, runaway and never look back.
Forget about the motivation you have always lacked.
Nothing else matters expect the path you run.
Run. Run until the pain is undone.

Forget about yesterday and don't think about tomorrow.
Disregard today and focus on the sorrow.

Run, runaway and never look back.
Forget about the motivation you have always lacked.
Nothing else matters expect the path you run.
Run. Run until the pain is undone.

Runaway until the pain is effaced.
Run, runaway ....

You'll return another day.
When the wounds have healed.
And your heart knows just how to deal.



[ I started raping to this as i was writing it, lol. First time for a rap song ]

She Decided

Long before fate gave birth to my soul,
we danced with anger,
deep within my mother’s womb.
Swaying to and fro to the rhythm of history’s habit
until I bore no resemblance of hope,
we danced.
Her tears,
her anger,
her love
enveloped me
and together we danced.

Long before fate gave birth to my soul,
violent love became the timekeeper;
day by day,
sunrise to sunset
until I bore the shame of my father
and his bitter memories.

And her dreams faded . . .

Deep within my mother’s womb,
when I was the beginning of tomorrow
and love was anew,
he spoke gentle words.
He promised not to be his grandfather’s anger,
his father’s absence;
he kissed her again.
She remembered his promise to love her,
to honor their family,
and his commitments to their tomorrows.
She remembered
when he touched her stomach,
when he touched me.
We felt the strange new sensation and danced.
She remembered
quietly how it was supposed to be

Fate prepared her for my soul
as she screamed;
alone
she pushed;
alone
she cried
and prayed
until I cried.
And we danced.

Fate gave birth to my soul
yet history’s habit would not caress me.
She decided,
while I was deep within her womb
that fate was not destiny;
she decided
I would be a man.

And alone we danced.

so much love to give she streches her arms to the heavens
only to be slapped down
what do you deserve?says the world
God says its beacause he loves us unconditionly we are his love
despair creeped up and said where is your God now?
I say all around I have the breath of life
hatetred and unforgiveness slapped me down
and yelled its unfair! I wont I cant
for the love of God.... see what you have
with spiritual eyes of a deep deep deeper love I took a deep breath
inhale love exhale hate let it out
now breath breath I yell as I bang on the chest of a victim of society
filled with self hate I am not done yet with this one God said
breath in deep the love ....
I am blessed.....


just how I am feeling latey!hurt and alone but so much to be thankful for! count your blessings!....with much love,Pauline

Oh, I'd yearn,
try for it
Something real
odious price to learn
Nothing I can feel,
When I touch
Your Picture,
Stare at it.
Oh, stomach churn,
flutter over it
Something hard
odious emotions to spurn
What do you wanna feel
When I touch
Your Face,
Smilin', Yeah..that's it
Oh, Life turn,
embracing all of it
odious frown to return
This is what I feel
When I touch
Your Skin,
Can't keep my hands off it
Oh, We burn,
merging into it
Something NOW
Trust we have earned
What we both feel
When I touch
Your core
We've no fear of a split.

Yearn, churn, turn and burn.
Feelings I'd have,
Feelings I need.

Thank you for reading...I am grateful for your thoughts and your comments!

Something's been missing from my life for a long while now...I believe it's been a need for intense, focused expression. I've been most happy lately...being a part of this community.

...and reading what people write here...I feel most at home...and grounded...thank you!

Hear them in the hall, can’t make out their words...
Someone’s sobbing, muffled sighing...
Where am I? Sleeping? No...I think...maybe?
I’m thinking anyway...in the dark...
My feet are cold...damn cold feet...
I’m awake, fatigued...sleepy, dreamy...lucid mind a-wander?
My heart beats...my body paralyzed...thank heavens...I am alive...
I’ll just wait here, buried alive, in my fractured skull...
Healing...and hoping they don’t treat me as if I’m not...there...

Souls’ Groove


The music was sensual; a rhythm unlike any other.
Swaying our souls
back and forth,
closer and closer;
until our bodies touch.

It filled the room with perfection;
the keyboard seemed to tickle the thick bass line
as the snare
kicked and thumped
to create a groove unlike any other.
Suddenly a sax began to caress the motion of our hips;
forcing them to gyrate ever so . . .mmm
the music was so sensual.

My hands
eased down the sides of your body;
tracing each curve,
etching the journey into my memory.
I want to remember
what makes you move the way you move.
We dance
slowly to this new and wondrous sound;
it was a rhythm unlike any other.
A hint of guitar
faded in and out,
manipulating the beat just enough for us to feel its intentions.
It carried us away,
to another place and time;
the music was so sensual.

I pull you closer until I feel your heartbeat against mine and we dance.

Missing You Baby

I close my eyes and envision you;
naked
with the nights’ heat slowly dripping from your flesh
slivers of moonlight invade the dark
just enough for me to see your beauty

You sway
ever so slowly
as if your soul found its purpose

I reach out;
to touch you
to hold you
only realize
that you’re not here

Damn work is too long