Topic: The stories | |
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I wish you never talked to me
I wish the phone never rang If only this online thing never happened Here I sit Not so much with hurt and pain But with other peoples secrets Embedded in my brain You told me to much You let others secrets fly through the air As if they were your own Like those secrets were ours To joke and laugh about And you ran right back into the social graces Leaving me knowing to much About everyone and everything Why must I hold all these stories Let me tell what you've told So these stories can rest in my mind And when I see those photos I don't feel so sad Tammy |
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I wish you never talked to me I wish the phone never rang If only this online thing never happened Here I sit Not so much with hurt and pain But with other peoples secrets Embedded in my brain You told me to much You let others secrets fly through the air As if they were your own Like those secrets were ours To joke and laugh about And you ran right back into the social graces Leaving me knowing to much About everyone and everything Why must I hold all these stories Let me tell what you've told So these stories can rest in my mind And when I see those photos I don't feel so sad Tammy |
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I wish you never talked to me I wish the phone never rang If only this online thing never happened Here I sit Not so much with hurt and pain But with other peoples secrets Embedded in my brain You told me to much You let others secrets fly through the air As if they were your own Like those secrets were ours To joke and laugh about And you ran right back into the social graces Leaving me knowing to much About everyone and everything Why must I hold all these stories Let me tell what you've told So these stories can rest in my mind And when I see those photos I don't feel so sad Tammy Really good, but the third line strikes me off when I read this...specifically the word "online", I understand the point of it being there but it breaks the thought from the initial three lines. The third line in its own can really just be a general statement without singling out a certain environment. Either way, as always, beautifully written. |
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No fear
It must be known as online So you know where the relationship was And where the people are I'm talking about Everyone and everything In this is. Online Thanks though! |
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Loved it
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Really good, Tammy!.. Creative souls.. Our poems are a part of us and therefore we know them best....Critiquing someone's work is like critiquing their children, I believe.
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Well it is
Kinda But the exchange between writers Done in a costructive way Is nice |
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great write with powerful wording
I wish you never talked to me I wish the phone never rang If only this online thing never happened Here I sit Not so much with hurt and pain But with other peoples secrets Embedded in my brain You told me to much You let others secrets fly through the air As if they were your own Like those secrets were ours To joke and laugh about And you ran right back into the social graces Leaving me knowing to much About everyone and everything Why must I hold all these stories Let me tell what you've told So these stories can rest in my mind And when I see those photos I don't feel so sad Tammy |
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