hello ,i have stage 4 copd and heart failure,and just kind of scary to die alone,have a granddaughter that lives with me,but just not the same as a woman beside me i just would love to meet someone,my wife died in 2015, just about the time dr said copd and give me 5 yrs at mostso im on borrowed time now ,i still drive and get around, and do some things-- any advice?

Sounds pretty bad.
Are you on hospice?
Do you have a will set up.
Is your granddaughter setup to meet her needs?

I understand there's a big difference between a granddaughter and a partner.
You might consider activity where others your age gather.

When using a dating site to meet someone you need to be careful with whom you choose because your situation makes you prone to scammer activity.

Right now you could broaden your preferences and seek out another lonely soul. Companionship, in your state of affairs, can be very good and very fulfilling.

Choose for you first, then allow your granddaughter to get to know the person and see their value to you as you do.

As for doctors setting a time limit for you, the same happened to me.
I had 5 years to live 9 years ago. That death clock hanging over you can cause severe depression. Realize doctors can be wrong.
You may want to consider some counseling with a professional or join a support group.
I have COPD along with some other stuff which keeps me disabled and alone, yet I found someone right here on mingle 2 who matches me perfectly. It can happen but you must choose correctly and not be so picky.

These forums and other forums and social sites can help with the loneliness until you find someone special.

Disclaimer:
There is a certain number of people who will use terminal illness as a ploy to gain sympathy from women so they will date them.
I'm not saying it is you but many women have encountered this ploy and it is always in bad taste.

I'm past my expiration date but I already have a gf so I'm not looking.
Luckily I found a woman who knows my health restrictions and has no real problem with them. A woman who can readily see that I am a good man who is funny and interesting despite my disability. In other words, I wear it well.

My advice is to put it up front and allow them to come to terms with it.
Then, be strong enough to not put your health in the way of building the relationship. Yes, you might have restrictions but you can substitute those restricted activities with other stuff you can do.
I watch movies, talk and listen to music. We have a fun time together.
We go out and do things but she understands those activities can be cut short. Plans might need to be broken or rearranged.
You can still have sex when you both want but you might not have it as much as you think you should but any sex is better than no sex. Use those intimate moments to build the closeness which keeps your heart warm on those scary nights when death is on your mind.

One more thing...
If your granddaughter lives with you, technically you will not die alone.
Cherish that time with her and be the person you want her to remember when you do die.
Try not to be a miserable lonely old man.
Fill her with your history by telling her the tales of your life.
Give her you.

I would be frightened and i know I am gonna be in that situation soon. I will probably be so sad I spent much of my life in solitude. I live in the mountains of Alaska miles from others but not away from every thing. In life we do everything alone and many forget that when you are with yourself you should sit in the best company. People forget that without the distraction of others you should feel at peace. With the weight on your shoulders we all would feel as you do. I wish you the best because your consciousness will not cease to exist. It will just be transmuted to other form. Pass with peace and five years is a life time. Doctors are often wrong.

"WHY YOU FEAR WHEN GOD IS NEAR "..

We all have to die. The Goal isn't to live forever , the goal is to create something that will.
As J s C said , do not rely completely on Doctors Advice . Not all are perfect .

check out your local senior center....there are activity groups on internet

can not find one then start your own group....get a small puppy like a Yorkie,

they are girl magnets....i will bet you think of more options to meet

ladies....i meet women everyday, everywhere i go i see and meet one , a smile

and hello really does work....

Hi Bill, I was quite saddened to read what your wrote, but I agree with Tom4U in that doctors can be wrong and you have to prove them wrong by carrying on. Take the time you have to enjoy being with your granddaughter, as some people don’t get that time.

If you are going to stay on Mingle just put a little more about yourself on your profile, and maybe add some more photos. Also just be aware of what Tom4U wrote in his disclaimer.

I wish you all the best, and good luck in your search Bill

Some professional help may be in order. Good luck!

Everyone is afraid of being

Afraid of being WHAT?

A warm hello from New Zealand ....

Bill , I would recommend asking your doctor to refer you to palliative care services who can offer support to both you and your grand-daughter and help ease your fears .

The heart foundation may also be able to put you in touch with others coping with an end stage prognosis . The friendship and support offered can make a difference and help you to feel less alone .

As for embarking on a new relationship ...I wish you the very best of luck in your endeavours

it dont matter, who they are.. take comfort in having family and friends around you that love and care about you.
at this time you should draw them closer to you.
I lost a niece to kidney failier, and a sister to cancer. and I was there for both of them, until the end. it was hard. but being with them helped them both, and gave them peace, having talked about memories, and concerns. gave us some time to settle things, and at the end say good bye with peace of mind.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.


My advice to you would be enjoy life the best you can while your still able to do it. Maybe while your doing it you will find somebody on that journey.

when my mother was in hospice and dying she said " I am not afraid of dying...I am afraid of the act of death.
she didn't die alone, all 8 of us.. her children were there
I wish you the same ending.

You have some great advice here.
I lost my husband 4 months ago after a terminal diagnosis so the wound is still fresh for me. Being told he was going to die took him to some dark places. I hope you're cooping okay? I kept everything as positive as possible for him. My husband didn't want to tell family,so this put a huge burden on my shoulders and the shock after he passed for family...some are still coming to terms with it. I supported him regardless.

Please seek hospice to help with necessary arrangements and bereavement therapy for your granddaughter. It's made a world of difference for me.

Good Luck and if you need to talk feel free to message me. Take Care of yourself.

You have some great advice here.
I lost my husband 4 months ago after a terminal diagnosis so the wound is still fresh for me. Being told he was going to die took him to some dark places. I hope you're cooping okay? I kept everything as positive as possible for him. My husband didn't want to tell family,so this put a huge burden on my shoulders and the shock after he passed for family...some are still coming to terms with it. I supported him regardless.

Please seek hospice to help with necessary arrangements and bereavement therapy for your granddaughter. It's made a world of difference for me.

Good Luck and if you need to talk feel free to message me. Take Care of yourself.

That's where I see myself, but no other choice.

Hi Bill, I too am in a similar situation. I guess my COPD isn't yet as bad as yours although I continue to have heart issues. Work closely with your medical providers and actively participate in your care. There are some drugs that can significantly improve your quality of life. I expect another 10-15 years living as best I can. It is far from hopeless!!! I also live alone and expect to spend the rest of my life alone other than friends and children.

Wow, that is/was a burden for you to carry. How long did you have to "hide" his illness? Did his family know of the illness at all? How old was your husband when he passed? I hope you are coping with it all.

Yes it was and is a burden. Everyone knew he has kidney disease. The terminal diagnosis came during the pandemic. It's a sad story, but not for the internet. I fought long and hard for that man through it all and couldn't save him anymore. He fought surgery after surgery ending with an above knee leg amputation. Most of his family passed away and the surviving ones didn't care. My family became his family ... I was 14 when I started dating him. They didn't know he was dying and they we're devastated.. Now they avoid me at all cost. He died a month before his 55th birthday and yes I still bought him a cake... Each kid said a favorite memory as we cried and ate cake. I'm not cooping well to be honest, I moved out of my bedroom and sleep on the couch. I didn't put a way anything, his coat and shoes are still at the door waiting for my best friend to walk through that door. I don't know why I'm on here, I really don't... I need a cuddler that won't try to get in my pants. I haven't been hugged in almost 5 months