A bit sad to have read that my favourite pub, a music café, is closing due to the crisis, after 45 years! The costs have become insurmountable for the owner, having missed out on a number of events already that normally make them money.
Really sad as there aren't many decent places to go here, and during summer only humpa humpa music for the Germans. Now losing my fave pub :(

A few pubs that I used to drink in have closed in recent years. Getting to the stage where I was just going into Glasgow City Centre, at weekends, as there's hardly anything next to me. At least in Glasgow, you have some variety, but next to me? The same faces, in the same pubs, doing the same thing, week in, week out! I don't like being stuck in a rut though! Is there nowhere next to you anymore that's decent? Or is it a fair trek now for a decent night out?

Unfortunately that particular pub was the one next to me, hihi. Two islands up I think, just below Rotterdam in a somewhat larger town.
The good thing was it being a music café, always live bands, different ones every week and a band on Friday, Saturday, Sunday afternoon. Since I go out by myself I prefer a café with a band. Gives you something to watch and good music to dance to, which I do as well since that pub had a dance floor.
Going to a normal pub by yourself as a woman isn't much fun. This place was great, there was security guards walking around in the alley where it was located as there were more pubs there, so it was safe too. I don't need nor like rowdy places or places with lots of drunken idiots. Free parking in that town too.
And still a doable drive, 35 minutes.

There are pubs here as well, but like I said catering for German tourists with humpa humpa Schlager music, played from one of these computer 'juke boxes' that switch songs every 60 secs or so. I don't like that music, nor Germans, lol.
I was SO excited to have found a great place where a woman alone doesn't get hassled.

It hasn't happened to me, but I can understand it is in a way more difficult. Big difference that when you divorce it means the relationship wasn't going well one way or another which is usually not the case when someone passes.
Maybe find a group one way or another who have gone through the same. Might help to find your feet again.
I know one happy couple who met each other that way -online in a group for widows & widowers- and are now happily married. Both lost their previous partner. That's how they got talking in that online group, both able to relate to it.
Now they're truly very happy, and if both have gone through something they can allow space for the other person's grief because your new spouse understands and needs the same thing.
But first I think find a way to come to terms with it. You keep mentioning it so it seems you need someone to talk to maybe.

I talk to the wee man about it, but he's missing his mum too! I feel more for him going through this and coming to terms with it all! I'm not looking for a replacement for her, as that would never happen either. As for getting married again? I don't think I could do that either, as it just wouldn't be the same again Crystal. Sometimes, it feels like although I know a lot of people and have a lot of mates, it actually feels like you have no one at times, as nobody knows how you feel. That's what I miss about my oldest boy, as I can talk to him about anything and everything. He's stuck in North London, on lockdown just now. Can't wait until he comes home again though. As for joining one of those clubs? I'd have to work it around my business Crystal, if that was the case. Being off just now because of this Coronavirus carry on, ends on Monday, when we go back to work. Thanks for your advice though. You're a good woman Crystal! Xx

Thank you!
If I may say a bit more... I didn't mean going somewhere, there are places online. Can help a lot! Talking to people with the same pain, or have been going through it, can be of tremendous support as they understand.
And please please allow the little man his own pain and grief. You see, thing with kids is if they only remotely sense you need them for your pain they will push their own pain aside to be there for you. That's how much a child loves its parent.
And then later that suppressed pain surfaces and makes them depressed, or causes an illness or whatever, when they're adults.
Please read that again and let it sink in as this is mistake NR 1 parents make, after divorce as well when they themselves are in pain. So be there for your little guy's pain, give him that much!
Same goes in a way for your eldest. It's easy to make your adult kids your support, but not healthy for them. I sometimes have to remind myself about that one, hihi, especially with my son that can be difficult as he wants to help his mom. Then I have to sometimes remind myself I cannot and should not burden my children with my trouble. They should be able to come to you with their chit because you're the parent, not the other way round.
I hope you don't take this as patronising, I really feel for you and your kids and I know from experience that when in dire waters yourself you tend to overlook such things.

I feel thankful for these three ---> Life, Family, and good health

Im thankful for I have these three things every day of my life I feel blessed. ️

Always feel that way, as you never realise what you have in life until it's gone! My wee boy is only 5 and has faced up to losing his mum, better than some guys that I grew up with act because something doesn't go right for them in their life. Sad, but true, that a 5 year old can be a better man, than them!