Can anyone answer this?

It is easy. It is because all girls exposed to a guy who is 'serious' about her will immediately feel that he is demanding fidelity immediately and she will feel boxed in.

Imagine the situation for yourself. It is quite disconcerting to be treated like a proven saint because you know you are not a proven saint but a normal human being. Also, trying to live up to being a proven saint who breaks no rules is actually pretty boring. Many guys believe they can become proven, obedient and reliable saints, which is why many guys like the military, where they obey orders and have order and consistency in the relationships. But they should avoid being like that towards girls, especially ones that he risks falling in love with.

Also, she knows that if he treats her like a saint, then pretty soon he will discover that she is not one and she does not want to be around for the fallout that the lightning strike of enlightenment will involve. What she wants is for him to find out all her own peculiar characteristics, quirks and foibles and nevertheless accept them or accommodate them sincerely in some way or another. She does not want all her personality traits to be undiscovered and trashed and ignored by attempting to fulfil his demands that she be as reliable and serious as he is straining the life out of himslf to be. So the odds are that any girl who has connected with a 'serious' guy will want out. She will lose him.

What he should be doing is to be realistic. What do I mean by realistic? He should realise that girls are different from boys. Girls do not keep a table at home and write up all the times he faithfully and dutifully did what he said he was going to do. In other words girls do not expect or want to build a business partnership with anyone when it comes to a starting a steady love relationship.

There are half a dozen stages in the relationship before getting to the tough stage of planning the week for who will buy the groceries, who will change nappies, which week is his for cooking dinner, and who will take out the trash today. She wants to get to know him well and experience and enjoy life with him first.

If all the first 6 stages go well, then there is the strong likelihood that they will be able to manage the bringing up children stage. By being 'serious' from the start he is putting the cart before the horse.

He needs to snap out of it and stop viewing the girl that he likes as a prospective business partner. Girls hate being put in a box. They want relationships, however shallow they stop at, or however deep they become, to grow organically and through common, unforeseeable and pleasurable experiences. She does not want to be in a jail and have a highly constrained 'secure unto death' relationship with her jailer.

Therefore he should cut out the 'serious' behaviour altogether and make NO moves towards a steady relationship and should actively see and meet other girls and have other hobbies until she realises he is the one to start to get to know better and maybe start going steady with. At that point she will demand to take more of the space in his life and will demand a steady relationship. (Even then the process is far from finished, if it ever is. :) )

But this is a crucial juncture to beware of. Particularly at this stage, this could be a trap for him. She may not realise it and may want to both have her cake and eat it, i.e. she may unconsciously want him as a steady partner but want to sleep with other guys at the same time. To avoid that trap he should first ask her whether she realises that faithfulness must go with the steady relationship. If he does not do this then he is setting himself up for heartbreak when they go steady and yet she sees/sleeps with other guys. If he cannot broach the subject then he is not ready for a steady relationship.

If she wants to go steady with him but recoils at the demand for faithfulness, then she is either immature, not ready or not worth having a steady relationship with. Then sadly, he should walk away until she comes to her senses, which may be never.

And if he has foolishly isolated himself and has seen only her up to that point, then he will not be able to shake off the memory of her as easily. All while if he has kept up other female contacts and other hobbies, he can forget her easily and sail on with his life, instead of becoming a case for the psychiatrist to sigh at his depression and prescribe some stupid drug.

Hell of a first post m8 :-)

Basicly O.P Funny. it's complicated. And Kris has about covered some of it

It takes more than sincerity.
If a man isn't what a woman wants, then the problem is with the man, not the woman.

On a dating site like this one or in day to day life?

The same as men asking "Why don't women want a good guy" and then stating a case they are a good guy.
Thing is, these so called good guys aren't what a woman considers a good guy. They're needy, clingy, co-dependent, often lack backbone, are emotionally unavailable, still hung up on an ex or still angry with an ex, and so on and so forth.
In other words: they're not emotionally mature men. And these are not the kind of men a smart woman would want for a partner. For the sheer reason she wants a man, an equal who stands on his own two feet, who has her back, is a teamplayer etc. A woman doesn't want a guy who needs to lean on her.
Such emotionally immature men are very off-putting. Yet they think they're great guys cos they're not players or whatever.

There's also a variety that's similar as above but has nothing going for himself in life. No dreams, no goals, no nothing. Equally off-putting and also not emotionally mature men.

Well, that's that little mystery solved then

Just what do you define as a "sincere lover"?????

Sure:
1. Not all "girls" are the same.
2. Not all girls are looking for "sincere lovers."
3. Believing oneself to be a "sincere lover" doesn't guarantee mutual attraction.
4. "Girls" look for/at more than sincerity (e.g. job, distance, social status, height, humor, trustworthiness, race, gregariousness).
5. A lot of people that classify themselves as "sincere lovers" (i.e. "serious?") don't come across as being truthful, they're simply using "sincere lover" as a ploy.
6. Some "sincere lovers" are impatient and want immediate reciprocal interest and don't give "girls" adequate time to actually respond. Some girls would show interest, but they're going to do it when they feel like it, regardless of when the "sincere lover" wants them to.
7. Some "sincere lovers" don't understand the website they're using and end up sending emails to profiles that haven't been signed into for months to years.

Pick whichever one makes you feel the least unhappy.

Well said Crystal

Some people choose what they want, not necessarily what's 'best for them' .
Guys are attracted to pretty but nasty, and girls are attracted to hansom and a-hole.
If you are not her flavour, give up immediately and look elsewhere.
You may appear more attractive to her, being seen with someone else.

Zzzzz

i love girl

Well put. There are so many guys that are exactly as you describe, and I have no argument against what you say, except that the women also need to have the same qualities of wanting a partner who they are seeking:

* Emotionally mature,
* Able to handle conflicting priorities in her life
* Not hung up with her ex by saying endlessly "I was hurt" or giving the guy a serve for every mistake that her ex made.
* Being a team player in the relationship before the kids come along and after the kids are born place all the attention on the kids, so that the husband is shut out of her life. Is this love?
* Be willing to delegate the work and not make a strict divide between "what is man's work and what is "woman's work".

I believe that men have lost their way on who they are. But more importantly, women are completely confused about who they are and what they want. As time goes on and women get to do more of what men have traditionally done, they get more and more confused about their role in life.

Do you mean both women and men are confused about their roles?

A relationship ought to be built on communication and be fluid, continually evolving.

What was normal in relationships of the past, in the West, is not normal now. Men and women work, have equal stressors, especially when children are in the mix.
Modern man and women need to individually, as a couple, work out what is fair and right for them.
It is not a competition, swallow your pride/ego. It is a partnership and healthy communication is imperative.
It is as complicated as one wants to make it, or not.

How would we know if it's sincere? It's difficult. That's why we follow what our heart desires.

Maybe don't concentrate on being a lover, and becoming a "sincere friend" first. why rush it? you have the rest of your life. Be patient with yourself and most of all, if you are sincere, you will be patient with her!

And listen to her. Really listen and comprehend What she says. Be strong within your heart, but be EQUAL.

Women like strong men that let them be strong too, with no insecurities or control issues. There's also trust that you have to earn, and this is where those insecurities raise their uglyazz head... if you can let that go, then you might... might.... become an unstoppable team eventually.

If you don't have that going on, on both sides, you're wasting each other's time.... time to move on.

Sincere lover are mostly they are very serious lovers . sometimes they are boring one. And in my opinion women don’t like boring ones.

love will show you all

Because you don't understand how love works.
You're assuming 'girls' see you as a sincere lover.
You're expecting 'girls' to fit into the box you provided.
You're expecting instantaneous results from a long duration process.