Everyone has their own opinion of love and hate.
From your statement I see what you call hatred as disgust but I don't see hatred because of the disclaimer you make about not willing to do them harm.
To me, hate is the extreme end.
If you truly hated them you would being actively trying to end them.
You might be a cop, you might be a street fighter or a sniper.
You would be consumed by the desire to end that which you hate, to remove them. I see it as you despise them but I don't think hate is the correct description.

Take the saying "I'd do anything for love"
Now apply that to a negative sense "I'd do anything for hate"

What concerns me more is realizing that you are defending hatred?
You are arguing for a negative.
I'm not sure if that is your intentions but that's how I understand it?

Tom,

I am defending hate, and Ive gone as far to differentiate the two hates

Hating someone because of racial bias is wrong, because you want to harm that person for no other reason because you believe you are superior.

hating someone because they want to do harm to others hence why I mentioned racists, rapist, thugs and child molesters.

Now I will add that racists who are law abiding and doesn't want to hurt others is fine but those who are racists and advocates violence is what Im generally referring to

I dont see it as a negative Tom, I see it as using discernment and understanding there are bad people out there, call it disgust, despise, extremely dislike or hatred, Im fine with any of those titles.

Im not consumed with idea of doing them harm but if they were to meet a demise of whatever reason, I wouldn't shed a single tear and I would say "good riddance"

I believe one can hate without be consumed with doing them harm

I understand what you are saying.

I don't see it as wrong but I do have a different view on it all.

I see hate as the most extreme version of disdain possible.
Its the outer limit of that particular negative emotional state.
I see love pretty much as the same type of extreme but on the positive emotional scale.

While I have disgust for anyone that will prey upon another person I don't hate them. I have disgust towards bigots but I don't hate them. I have disgust towards liars but I don't hate them.

In my past I threw the love/hate words out there to express myself never fully understanding what I was saying.
While searching for my serenity I tasked myself to actually identify what I love and hate and look at those things to determine if I truly loved or hated them. It was a very enlightening exercise.

I looked at the options to fulfill my desires and realized that I wanted my freedom more than I wanted to end the people I thought I hated.
I realized that the hate was not really hate but disgust.
I played out scenarios in my head of what I would have to do to exact may hatred upon them and there was always a limit that I would not cross.
Realizing that those limits were there made me understand that it was not the limit of hate that I was feeling but something else.
I also played out love scenarios in my head. Found out that the only love I actually feel is love for my children.
I chose to look for a center. Mainly, to give myself inner peace.

I still have very strong likes and dislikes for many things but I now realize they don't actually constitute love or hate.
It helps me gain emotional maturity and control over my emotions.
Its how I find my contentment.

I understand what youre saying Tom and you are right we have different views of the subject of "hate"

I know you dont know me but I can tell you that I dont use the word "hate" lightly either.

It takes a lot to for me to hate someone, but not a lot to hate something particularly crimes against humanity and innocence.

I break it down to

I dislike something, eg, I dislike Lobsters and sushi and a few posters with marxist ideology and I find most of them are really stupid.

Racism and bigotry disgusts me, most racists think they are superior over others.

I despise someone like the Clinton's, The Democrats and the regressive left because what they stand for, Im not crazy about modern republicans either but I dont despise them

I hate Violent Racists, Rapists, child molesters and Thugs, no explanation needed there.


I generally dont want to see anything bad happen to people I dislike, disgusts me or I despise, the same thing cannot be said for those that I hate.

If Hillary or Bill Clinton died tomorrow I would say , well that is sad, sorry for their daughter and grandchildren for one second and then move on.

But is some I hate died, I would be like that is wonderful news and good riddance and if its the weekend throw a party to celebrate depending on how it is,for instance the day that person who killed my best friend daughter, ( my goddaughter) her best friend and mom while driving drunk, if he dies there will a celebration.

Yeah Harsh ,I know.

I can't imagine giving anyone I don't like enough access to my spiritual being to actually hate them, I'd prefer to simply avoid them and delude myself that they don't exist

Brilliant strategy.

kudos

Brilliant strategy.

kudos

Im curious Jason , If a man murdered your loved ones , you wouldn't hate that individual , you would simply avoid them and pretend they dont exist?

I have to agree ~ Outa Sight, Outa Mind

Hatred is like depression, you feed it.
I'm not one to sit and stew on negative things.
I choose to think of positive things.

Society is full of hateful people.
People that seem to be pist at the whole world.
The exude negativity without even realizing it.

I choose to surround myself with positive people.
I see the world around me in a positive light.
I notice the good things and ignore the bad.
I don't worry about things.

When bad things do happen, and they do happen.
I address them as well as I can and let it go.
I don't carry around resentment anymore.
It costs too much.

I dont know If I agree with that Tom, you know I respect your opinions as you're level headed .


As much as I actually hate certain people, it doesn't consume me, I dont go out of my way to harm or seek to harm them.

but if harm comes to them I wouldn't shed a tear either, I feel no empathy towards them.

the Hatred you are talking about where one is consumed by hate and harm is very unhealthy and I agree with you they are very negative and resentful.

Off topic.

Its like Greed, a lot of people believe greed is all bad, but we are all greedy to a degree, greed that hurts or takes advantage of people is bad.

Greed that motivates as in for self interest but not at the expense of others but for the expense of others in books is fine

This has happened to me but it wasn't murder it was a drunk driver.
I hated that driver for years but I realized that he didn't mean to kill my loved one. He died from the result of injuries from the accident.
The driver went to jail, went to rehab, apologized and appeared to be truly sorry.
I let my hatred go but I will always resent what he did.

I've also had a loved one that was raped.
I hated the rapist. I would have killed him dead if it weren't for laws.
He went to prison. She got counseling. I got nothing.
I had to find a way to let my hatred go or it would destroy me.
I no longer hate him but I still despise him.

I was also victim to crime twice. I hated neither of them because I did not know them. But I did hate what they did.

Tom,

that has happened to me too, my best friends daughter which was my goddaughter and her friend and mother killed by a drunk driver, a drunk driver that was convicted twice for DUI.

three innocent people whose only crime was going to the movies on a rainy Saturday.

My best friend has never been the same, I cant imagine losing a child , or that poor man who lost his wife and daughter, Every so often I check in on him to see how he is doing and his life has never been the same,he hasn't re married, he has aged so much.

And the hatred he has for that guy, Im sure some would say oh its been 10 years , let it go. I cant imagine being happily married with a child , good life and one day its all taken away from an azzhole repeat drunk driver.

Its easy to comment and criticize when you're on the outside, but they say until you walk in another person shoes you dont really know.

The way I see hate - you are not hating them.
I know I can take a life (I don't need a weapon either).
Hate is the extreme end of the scale of negative emotions.
If I hate someone, I will go out of my way to hunt them down and harm or even kill them. That is because I hate them. They become my focus in life.
I'll find out who they love and what they value and take that from them too.
When that man raped my little cousin I was getting prepared to quit my job, move to that area and hunt him down. As I was prepping, the police arrested him on her testimony. The evidence was there and he was convicted and sent to prison.

I had to find a way to let it go or I was going to end up in that prison just so I had access to him. Luckily I met my X and started a family of my own. It distracted my hatred and over time I was able to let it pass into disgust.

In the last 7-9 years I have been working on myself and trying to find my serenity. It involves a whole lot of introspection and personality adjustments. It involves exact self-honesty.
Part of that is to realize that hate and love are extremes and those placeholders are inaccurate to how I feel. I stopped using them.
I also had to switch from a negative mindset to a positive mindset.
I now concentrate on positive things and I see more positive things around me.
Hatred is a negative mindset.
I steer myself away from negative mindsets.
I am rewarded with contentment in life.
Bad things still happen, I just think a bit more clearly when dealing with them.

Tom, diserli
I was in the same situation a few years ago.
I lost my girlfriend to a drink driver.
Some people can forgive some can't.
It's ok saying sorry after the event but they definitely didn't give a chit when they got in the car and drove!
I'm not even going to say sorry for hating him,
I do and that's that.
Now whenever I see someone who has been drinking and about to drive I'll stop them or call the police!

I am sorry to hear about your loss

There is scars that never heal

Thanks larsi

mikey , Im sorry to hear that, my belated condolences to you and her family.

These stories that we share shows us how life is and how life isnt fair at times.

I know we dont all think alike but these forums highlights things we can either learn from or validate our beliefs.

Diserli, thanks. You too.
And yes. We can all have our differences and views but somewhere we all have something in common

The reason I started participating in this thread is because I participate in a lot of online forums, not just dating sites, all subjects.

I commonly see people using hate and love in responses that are not really hate or love.

People tend to throw the word hate out there willy-nilly.
The commonality of it diminishes its meaning.
I hate This, I hate That.
People even talk like that in real life.

Its a preset to negative thinking.
It implies negativity.
People tend to focus on bad things.
Then they complain that all they see are bad things.

All I'm saying is if you want to see good things, ya gotta look for good things.
Part of that is to talk and write positive.

When I tell someone this, most of the time, they will argue to support their negative mindset.
I don't think many even realize they are doing that.
They are conditioned to seek out negativity.

Switching to a positive mindset is not hard, yet they choose to stay negative?
To me, now, it makes no sense.
I do remember myself arguing to preserve negativity.
Its one of those things I knew I needed to change because it made no sense when I thought about it.