So, here I am, single mom to two beautiful loving kids. One is in his twenties and doing quite well in life and the other is still in grade school, embarking on the homeschooling journey with her mom.

That does not make me anxious, mothering is what I do and have been doing the past ten years, but its ALL I do. That is to say, I haven't made time for 'dating' or being out with people who are not family and I have settled in to a life without the games, rules, and guesswork involved in 'dating'.

I am responsible for me and my kids and Im pretty good at that.

Now, my eldest is INSISTENT that I need someone else beside his sister and himself. I am considering his POV, but here is where I get anxious.

I have NO IDEA what dating is in these times. I rarely even dated when I did know because Im more the marrying type and was married for most of my adult life.

I am, from my memory, VERY physical and very easily ... excited lets say.

That is an area I know I am vulnerable to, but I do not want to get into something that immediately turns physical and I am a little anxious about how well I would 'handle' it once it did.

What are some ideas for non intimate dates that can still be enjoyable for the guy and not scare or bore them off?

Have a LDR with a Melmacian.

Ciao Bella. You sound real interesting and fun to be with. Really like your profile

Dodo,
you're silly. I expect a visit from my sons dad this year. I don't want to shut him out, but I don't want to rush anything with him or anyone else either.

ms.harmony, i am so proud of you.

ty lu, but Im not out there yet ...

Humm so are you not over the kids dad yet?

I am not sure what 'over' means.

I love unconditionally and forever. We were not good with each other when we were young. I do not know what we might be now, anymore than I know what I might be with anyone else.

I have competition?

as long as other people are on the earth, we ALL have competition...

So you're saving yourself for the next life for your ex husband, living like a nun because once, long time ago, you said "Yes I do"?
Sorry to put it so bluntly, but in a way that's what it sounds like it comes down to.
If you do not date, you will never know the answers. You will never give another a chance if you still latch on to the totally misplaced loyalty and commitment to an ex who has long gone.
Go have some fun, start dating, I totally agree with your son. And don't let the thought of intimacy scare you off. You have control, you set the boundaries. If you don't want to get intimate, you don't. If you do, you do. Simple as that.
I have concerned myself about this too in the past, and still do at times. Thoughts like "Yeah, but after 2, 3 dates a man expects at least a kiss. So I will have to..." NO! You don't have to anything. It's your life, your body. You decide. You don't owe anybody anything.
And if you at some point find yourself wanting intimacy, so what? You only live once, in this body that is (I believe in reincarnation, lol).
But why deprive yourself from anything? Doesn't mean you gotta jump in the sack with every date. But if you happen to meet someone, date him a few times and you want to... what's stopping you? (Please don't tell me religion)...
Live, girl! I mean, if even your kid starts telling you this...
Go out there, and have some fun. And if you want to avoid intimacy, do what I do: Don't date anyone twice Unless of course you think he could be The One.

MsHarmony I am a bit surprised that you asked this. I was under the impression you were a decisive person.

I think... You should search for the type of date that fits your interests. Date to have fun with that person doing things you both enjoy. Stop making it complicated.
Don't you think naturally enjoying the company of another is better than trying to force yourself to impress?
What is the point of putting pressure on yourself to impress if you're not having fun? You'll be setting yourself up to prioritize someone else's happiness over your own. A martyr mentality that I don't think is you.

No. Not at all. I have had relationships since my husband, as I was in my teens and early twenties and a lifetime has passed.

My choice to be on my own had nothing to do with my first husband as I remarried. But my second marriage ended with a daughter that I devoted life to instead of to another man. Again, nothing to do with my first husband.

I imagine once my daughter was off to college, I would have took a chance on another relationship but that has been expedited due to my son's intervention.

Yeah, the intimacy part is spiritual as well as physical for me and I dont want it to be an impediment to building new relationships.

I appreciate your advice

Its not martyrism, but more like consideration of another persons time and interests. But I suppose communication would be a key to that, although its hard to know how much should be communicated and how quickly.

Anxiety over? Either you want someone or not

I'm sorry ms, but you're starting to sound like one of "those type" of woman who drive men mad. You want a relationship but you don't know how to start one, and really you're afraid to get into one. You're still stuck on your ex, but won't admit it. Your kids are your world, as they should be, but they are growing up and you're worried that soon they won't "need" you anymore.
In short, you're letting your past rule your future.

Msharmony,
Meticulously seek guidance through prayers. It will weed out all these emotions.
Define what you dont on a date with a Man.
Finally,remember to remain a good example to your kids as you date.

Yes, a good example, as in: a woman can be a mother, but she still is a human being, a woman, who needs love and attention from a man. And apart from that, convey the message that a healthy woman has sexual feelings and it's perfectly okay for a woman in this day and age to want / have a sex life.
This is the 21st century. Teaching your kids to oppress feelings that are totally human, normal, and very healthy isn't right.
You can do all that and teach your children that one should be selective with whom you/they share themselves. If mother can show her kids that she can do that, she will raise kids with a healthy view of sex and sexuality.

And we prolly won't see eye to eye on this, but that does in actual fact mean that a mother can do whatever she likes, as long as she doesn't expose her kids to it.
Let's say someone is into BDSM. Perfectly fine to go there, just make sure you do it elsewhere or when the kids are not home and don't tell them about it.

To be honest, it actually grates on me that you tell a woman to be a good example because it is reactivating old paradigms that mankind is trying so hard to shed.
I wonder if you would've said the same thing to a man.

See the martyr reference was an after-thought not the focus.
I doubt you will date just anyone willy-nilly.
There will be some commonality, I just think focusing on commonalities and enjoying another's company is more important than the pretense of 'dating'.
A lot of times we make things more complicated than they need to be.
When any part of a relationship substitutes personal contentment in favor of another's it will break, eventually. The key is to find the things that you both enjoy and do those things together and enjoy being in the company of that other person in the moment no matter the circumstances.
Life doesn't consist of all pomp and circumstance. There are a greater number of unscripted events that have higher significance.
I see people with all these notions of what constitutes a 'proper' date and despite proper dating people find themselves unhappy and unfulfilled.
Yet, I know from experience that the unscripted events we share with others has the most significance to the relationships we form with them.

Why

You would not be committing any crime.
Find some ‘you’ time and enjoy it.