I was dating a guy that I had fallen in love with . And good dates. One weekend we had a really good date. He took off to Portland for a weekend and the next time we talk he tell me we need to talk. I bent over backwards for him and done things I never would have. I guess cute, sweet and kind don't win the guy . Any one have any suggestions?

Dont be good and sweet?;)

Ask yourself what were the signs?
If YOU have a patten with choosing the same type of man? And then why? Then change your pattern.

You can NOT make a man love you or change or do anything he does not want to.

Hope this helps

be happy theres space for new and better in your life. be good to yourself,

Really sorry you went through that Nicole.

My question is.... While you were bending over backwards for him, what was he doing for you?

A relationship is reciprocal , and too often we give too much of ourselves to people who do not give as much of themselves back to us in return.

Learn to invest energy only where you get it back when it comes to relationships, or you end up feeling depleted and used.

People often don't give you what you deserve.

They give you what you choose to accept.

Walk away anytime you sense that someone is giving you less than you deserve.

all these one sided stories on here... so, the question is, why did he break up if you were so nice and understanding, bending over backwards for him?

ya I suggest you STOP changing yourself in order to try to "catch" a man

For what?

What do you want?

You want to know "why?" or "what changed?"

You want to know how to get him back?

You want to know how to change yourself so you can guarantee this doesn't happen again?

You want to know how to spot "warning signs" when this is about to happen?

You want suggestions for revenge?

You want to know why "bending over backwards" doesn't guarantee obligatory reciprocation?

You want to know how to stop being cute, sweet, and kind?

And you don't even directly say that you two broke up.

For all I know he said "we need to talk" Sunday, and he hasn't even come home yet, and you're asking "any suggestions on what to expect during our 'we need to talk' discussion?"




If I were to suggest anything it would be clarity in your questioning, and problem specificity.

Yes be true to who you are whatever that is..
And what we believe about what we are projecting may not be what another is seeing.

What I don't understand why did you bend over backwards I get compromising but changing who you are for someone should never happen and the day that starts the relationship is doomed..


My advice figure out what you really want and go from there.

Any one have any suggestions?

Yeah, don't bend over backwards for a guy. If you want respect, you gotta start by respecting yourself.
You have healthy boundaries and a life of that doesn't evolve around him. You're not always available, you don't change your schedule to suit him -esp not if he phones last minute, you don't sit around waiting for him to call, you simply don't jump at his every beck and call.

Yup, exactly.

Wait a minute! Is this the first "Nice chick" thread ever in the history of Mingle? Praise sweet baby Jesus we finally get one of these and not the typical "nice guy" thread.

I always try to make sure that good girls come first

nicolesong, your Mingle2 profile currently gives your marital status as being "Separated". That normally means that you are still legally married to someone. Could that be part of the problem?

I'm sorry this had happened to you.
I suggest you mourn the death of this relationship. Cry if you must.
Buy a voodoo doll.. it usually comes with instructions.

Being separated makes you still legally married. Maybe you should work on your divorce first before you fall for another guy.

All the best

atta boy!

HAPPENS TO GOOD GUY'S ALL THE TIME...''MEN PURSUE AND WOMEN FLIRT'...HAVING SAID

THAT MAYBE YOU WHERE TO EASY TO PLEASE FOR HIM.....NEVER FORGET ''YOUR THE

PRIZE''GUYS TAKE CARE OF WHAT THEY HAVE WORKED HARD TO GET AND THAT GOES FOR A

MATE ALSO....THEN WHEN YOU DO ''WIN ONE'' HE ALWAYS HAS TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT

HIMSELF WHENEVER HE IS WITH YOU.....HOW DO I KNOW ? ...BECAUSE I ARE ONE....

And what kind of "come" are YOU referring to Beach?

Maybe when he realised you had fallen in love with him he discovered he was not in love with you, it happens. Better to be out of a one sided relationship, he did you a favour, at least you had some good dates so it wasn't all bad.

Welcome to Mingle2 and good luck in your search.