mornin laura, rocker, & barbiessis'''''

thank ya'll, good 2 see ya'll

YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY

20!!!!!

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.

'Wow, thank you', said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up', said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.'

'Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed!'

MORNIN' LAURAJ

GOOD 2 SEE YA BACK

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"Seventeen people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this and told them this big circle is your brain before drugs and this small circle is your brain after drugs".

"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?", the judge asked the second boy.

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 150 people to give up drugs forever."

"One-hundred-fifty people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that?"

"Well, I used a similar approach. I said, "This small circle is your @sshole before prison...

funny stuff laura

A little girl walks in on her parents havin' sex.
She ask "Mommy why are you on top of Daddy?"
Her mom said " Daddys's fat & I'm tryin' to flaten him"
Little girl says " Wont do anygood, the lady next door will just blow him up again"

WELL TIME TO GO DO THE CHING CHING THING

GLAD IT'S HUMP DAY

THANKS LAURA FOR FILLIN' IN

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

YA'LL BE SAFE!!!

A Grandfather and A grandmother goes and visit their grandson when
the grandfather find a bottle of viagra in the medicine cabinet of his
grandson.

He asks his grandson if he could use one of the pills of viagra. His
grandson answers " I don't think its a good ideal because you can get
very dependent of it and its expensive."

"how much?" Asked the grandfather. "$10.00 a pill." The grandson
answered. " I dont care how much it cost i want to try one before i
leave tomorrow ill put the $10.00 under you pillow"

The next morning the grandson gets up to find out that he has $110.00
under his pillow. He calls his grandfather and ask him : " I told you
they where only $10.00 you gave me $110.00"

"I know thats what you said the $10.00 is from me and the $100.00 is
from your grandma"

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag..." "Damn!" says the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!"

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money?" " Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!"

"So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I say: $20 or off it comes!"

"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well", says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up"....

ouch: laugh:

here's you 20 laura

WHAT YOU CALLING ME OLD

THANKS ALOT

j/k laura

just see'n if u were awake

WELL THAT WASNT EVEN FUNNY

OOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPSSSSSSSS

It was a small town & a patroleman was makin' his rounds.
As he was checkin' a used car lot, he came upon 2 little old ladies sittin' in a used car. He stopped & ask them why they were sittin' there in the car? Were they tryin' to steal it?
Heavens no, we bought it.
Then why don't you drive it away? he replied.

We can't drive was the reply

Then why did you buy it?

We were told that we bout a used car here, we would get screwed, so we're just waitin'