It's a combination of both, at the right time and with the right people. No one is always all nice or all bad, the human being is more complicated than that.

If you believe in karma it does. It will eventually. What goes around comes around.

Nice guys don't finish last, they just let others go ahead of them...

I'm a bit like that myself. I can't go around assuming a man is nice, until I meet him. I need evidence. Words aren't enough.

Glad to see so many think being nice is a good thing (so do I). Really liked what PacificStar48 said in her first post (pg 5 I think)
Several thoughts, as always people have multiple definitions of the word. Being nice to me does not necessarily mean being always agreeable or a doormat. It took me years but I finally learned a little about "tough love" If being "nice" means letting someone have there own way and that way is going to be hurtful to them in the long run, the really nice thing to do is warn them. IMO. It doesn't always make friends but here right and nice maybe interchangeable.
I was raised to believe the golden rule "Do unto others as you would have them do to you", now usually known as karma. One would think that would be the nice thing. There is too much self loathing and hurting people who do not want, will not let you be nice to them. They want, expect to be mistreated and if you are nice, they misinterpret it. Be nice anyway.
Will being nice pay off in this world? Sometimes... but it isn't this world's payoffs that are my concern.

Thank you, nicely "said"

i am a genuinely nice person 99 percent of the time, but if someone does something bad then i have a reason not to be nice. im not a pushover, ill always be nice unless theres a reason to not be. that's just the way i am.

nice is overrated...

naughty and nice lol

I'm with Sitka. By definition, being nice for the sake of a pay off isn't nice. It's vile.

This question gets asked a lot, but I never see it dealt with in a factual, logical, and accurate way.

Specifically, the reason WHY people keep asking about "being nice," is that from the time most of us are little kids, "nice" is misidentified.

Over and over again.

"Nice" is used in place of "cooperative."

"Nice" is used in place of "as dictated by whoever is in charge."

"Nice" is used in place of "according to the published rules."

"Nice is used in place of "Quietly so I can sleep."


And "Nice" is used to refer to being thoughtful, respectful of the inherent equality of others, of yearning and working for the optimum results for everyone and everything, as opposed to seeking short term personal profit.

It's just really rare that the CORRECT definition is meant.

Then when people say stupid and annoying things like "nice guys finish last," what they are really doing, is mixing metaphors, big time. They are using one of the "make yourself a victim" versions of "nice," and pretending that they are referring to the honorable definition.

The reason why lots of people DO like to proclaim that "nice is for wimps and fools," is that they want to excuse their own refusal to develop or stand for a real sense of honor. They want to lie, cheat, steal, and be admired for doing so, instead of being distrusted and discarded as they know they deserve to be. That, or they are depressed and resentful of the fact that they've BEEN abused by others, and are wishfully saying something they don't believe, in the hope that they can convince themselves to become abusers as well, and finally get SOME of what they feel they have always deserved.

I'd say yeah,think "KARMA",but just don't be nobody's puppet,and iamwho said,"you gata find that balance"!

On my job, I think that I balance it quite well,nice as much as possible,and firm to the point where I sometimes,(not often)make enemies,just for doing my job !But for the most part,the results are mutual respect!!

I am with you on that Debbie. I will add if someone gives me a serious reason to NOT be nice then sooner or later I can be their worst nightmare. Most of the time I will not go out of my way but when they are hoping I have forgotten or forgiven then whatever karma falls on them doesn't hurt my conscience at all. If they find themselves at the end of my punishment you can bet they are going to feel it.

well ive been a nice guy all my adult life and no people it does not get u anywhere sadly so why do i do it because it seems in this day and age things like honor or compassion are shoved aside too easily and im not willing to give up on those values that easily but ya it sucks lol.....

In my opinion being nice does pay off, I've seen that many times and that wonderful feeling it brings knowing that you made someones day. We all have our bad days also but being nice ( not a welcome door mat)is what will be worth at the end of the day. That being said you can't please everyone even when your nice to someone who doesn't reciprocate it back to you because sometimes the other person maybe going through something that we know nothing about.I do know ( there isn't only me)what it means to be disappointed when you see that nothing seems to go right in your life when your a nice person. The way that I did and do my best to deal with this , is to think at least I put it out there in the Universe and this decreases my stess alot! I hope this bit of information helps someone. Have a nice day everyone or try to.

I don't think women want a nice guy.

Depends on the woman we are not all made with cookie cutters ya know

Being nice is not about payoffs...Being nice is ONLY about being nice, any other reason or ulterior motive is called being phony....

Being nice is a double edged sword. It can take you a long way, but it can also get you into a lot of trouble. A few things I learned about being nice.

1. Nice can get you taken advantage of. Don't let the same person do it twice.

2. Never be nicer to your friends significant others than they are. Unless you want to be the should they come to cry on and the whole can of trouble that leads to.

3. Being nice can get people to talk to you who would normal not have taken the time.

4. How nice you are if often directly proportional to how much of a jerk you can be to. If pushed.

5. Nice is nothing without manners and respect.

6. Regardless of life's outcomes. Nice is its own reward to.

Perhaps (in this world is not where nice gestures will reap benefits ) . Being nice is taking the high road. which always entails more effort. My personal motto is nothing ever really worth anything is easy . Just a little food for thought .