Another sleepless night.Thought I was over this with him. We split up well over 4 months ago & almost every weekend he starts contacting me & trying to get together with me. I tried blocking him & deleting his texts but I still care about him. I can't turn it off.Even when I ignore him he's on my mind. I know we are not getting back together but how do I finish getting over him? There aren't enough distractions to keep him off my mind.

If you really don't want to get back together with him, then it doesn't help that he contacts you all the time, esp in weekends. 4 months is still early days and if he keeps contacting you when you're still finding your feet, is asking for trouble. For you, that is.
You're probably going back and forth, yes, no, yes, no. That way you won't ever get any rest.
Don't know if you reply? I'd be very clear that I didn't want him contacting me anymore. Maybe a conversation is needed for that. But then you'd have to be very very clear, both in verbal language AND have your body language match the words (if you'd see each other). He might pick up on you not being sure about it all.
And don't get dragged into arguments about (yeah, but, we were so great and this that and the other --> pointless arguments) The only argument is "it's over!"
And do not reply anymore after that. And I hope he's not a fruitcake, as in a stalker in the making?

He's using you, plain and simple? He wants his own life, but doesn't want anybody else to be with you either? Cut all ties with this man, or he'll have you like a puppet on a string! You deserve better than this and to move on also? Best of luck, ok?

Both CrystalFairy and Larsson make absolute sense! However, speaking from the same place Dawnette is coming from.mentally she KNOWS all of that, but her heart isn't there yet.
It's clearly going to take time and serious effort to move on from him heart and mind.
We can do it babe !

I totally agree with Crystal and Larsson and I know you'll find your own way to deal with the relationship in time as you really do deserve better, but.....
for the insomnia I can make a suggestion the more distraction you think your giving yourself is just more clutter for your mind to deal with I recommend autogenic relaxation to help. I use it every day. I have a cd I play every night at bedtime, the same cd don't change it. Pick one that takes you through a relaxation technique that you enjoy and has a good tone of voice that appeals to you. The nights I use it I'm out like a light I didn't hear the whole cd for a year lol as I always fell asleep. I've seen myself toss and turn for hours scrabbling with my thoughts eventually I'd get the cd on and what do you know ..asleep in minutes!!
The best part Dawnette is I always wake up positive and refreshed the next morning, it's amazing
I recommend a physical relaxation that focuses on your own body rather than a visualisation that takes you on a journey e.g. along a beach etc. as I find I can get involved to much in trying to create the perfect image ad it totally defeats the purpose for me, but I'm quite creative and visually stimulated. The one I use is Chakra Dharanam part 1. I hope this helps in some way and you find peace in your sleep. Good luck

we cant easily forget someone we used to love. no specific timeframe set for a full recovery from your breakup. Somehow we are used to being with their company and we cant automatically ignore them thats why even if the relationship is over we are still eager to stay in touch with them. However, if the ties is still their it'll be difficult for you to move on, aside from that it'll only caused you so much pain. Try to delete or block him on your phone,emails or any means of communication or much better you can change your #. Keep yourself busy if not with work then try a new hobby. By this you can slowly keep him out of your head and move on.

we cant easily forget someone we used to love. no specific timeframe set for a full recovery from your breakup. Somehow we are used to being with their company and we cant automatically ignore them thats why even if the relationship is over we are still eager to stay in touch with them. However, if the ties is still their it'll be difficult for you to move on, aside from that it'll only caused you so much pain. Try to delete or block him on your phone,emails or any means of communication or much better you can change your #. Keep yourself busy if not with work then try a new hobby. By this you can slowly keep him out of your head and move on.

No hes not a stalker. He just knows how to get my attention. Im going to try to just delete his messages from now on. I refuse to see him & talk. That would not be good. Thankyou for the advice!

Just throw rocks at him and be done with it.

Thankyou all for the advice! He is like a bad habit for me. Shoot!....quitting cigarettes wasn't even this hard .

Big hug
(And maybe block him (if you can?) so you really can get some rest.)

That might work, but I'm not like him. I can't hurt him as easily as he can hurt people.

Sorry you have had such a hard time kick starting your post romance life. You have had four months to prepare for the holiday season as a single but you make no mention of having any kind of replacement activities going on. Best way to cure a bad habit is to find a positive one. That doesn't necessarily have to be a new man but why isn't a lively young single female planning family visits, girl get a ways, career development and talking about connecting with dreams rather than rehashing what sounds like a relationship that doesn't sound like it was a lot of fun. He snaps his fingers and you jump on the electronic leash? Why is it so hard to shut this guy down? Are you vaguely afraid of cutting this guy off completely? You say he isn't a stalker but some guy calling four months later sounds iffy even with it being the holiday time.

you got great advice about cleaning up your sleep habits. Cutting off the computer a couple hours before bed and getting to bed a little earlier so you can be up and out in the bright morning light getting a little movement outdoors or in a Gym with new people or a breakfast crowd will help perk your spirits which sound a little blue.

Think of yourself as a Book.

Each day you flip a page.
There look to be a lot of pages.
At first.

Your choice is always to read on,
see what is happening.
Or to stay on one page, or even
go back, reread over and over.
You can spot those people.
They go nowhere.
Not even on to their own story.

And all the while the pages are
flipping.
Never as many as we thought.

He* is the reason I sleep good at night.
Wait ...What....



Sorry..errr.was thinking out loud

this.

shoot him

DAWN, wow a lot going on here,crystal had really good advice. talking about it is a good step, your not alone a lot of us have been through relationships where we could not let go. move on with your life.

Hmmmmmmmm Nahhhhh. I could'nt!

Thanks for all the advice! I started this post back in October '13, looking back at it now and realizing what this joker has put me through with emotions. But... I finally did it after a year and a half of playing his game. I am done!! (and I'm sleeping again)